Stressed by work

Hope everyone is having a good Bank Holiday,I am feeling very fed up at the minute. Popped into work to pick something up was asked are you ever getting better,and do you still work here. When I explained that the fatigue was bad at the moment all I got told was well everyone's tired. Sorry if it seems like I'm moaning I am really trying to hold it together,was on 15mg of prednisolone reduced down to 5mg since being on the lower dose the swelling is really bad in my hands and wrists. I want to go back to work but can't do the job at the moment. Does anyone else have a problem with work.

12 Replies

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  • I Would love to work , but i know with what i do at home no way could i work all day and help husband that has MS. Look after you, not others. Big Hug. xx

  • And one back to you too.x

  • Hi there.

    I really feel for you. I'm down to 7.5 mg pred now and swelling has started up again in hands elbows and knees.. should be on 5mg from tomorrow but know there is no way I can cope with that.

    I've found people don't understand the pain/discomfort/fatigue as I look 'normal' and it's frustrating to maybe be thought of as making mountains out if molehills! Those comments you got certainly would hit a nerve with me! I've just returned to work in a part time basis working up to full time again hopefully over a period of. 2 to 3 months. In general my colleagues were just ok but management have been terrific. Having been seen by occupational health before I returned and giving them permission to tell HR and management of my exact diagnosis I've been met with nothing but kindness and repeatedly told not to do more than I think I can and to let them know at any time if the schedule we've set doesn't suit. I know this wouldn't be the same in any company but it seems that those who were 'informed' of my diagnosis and therefore my limitations have been very accommodating and kind and this far outweighs any ill informed colleagues 'banter' sometimes when faced with talking to a person off sick when not knowing exactly why, colleagues can be tongue tied and not know what to say and resort to these sort of comments. Please try not to take it personally. YOU know you are not fit for work and presumably your GP has let your employer know the same so that's all that matters. People's knowledge of this disease when not affected by it is really limited. I know I hadn't a clue about it until I was diagnosed. Thought it just causes a few painful joints which wouldn't affect non manual jobs.

    Try to focus on just doing what's right for you and you will get back to work when you are able. I was off for just under 4 months and am so glad I just didn't go back straight to full time as my fatigue after my first week at 20 hours only was huge. I'm glad I'm back though...feeling like I'm part of society again! I have a rheumy appointment tomorrow so hopefully will resolve the issue of going down to 5mg as I know work will be much harder on that dose.

    Take care

    Sharon 🌸

  • I do feel for you, I am at work at the moment but it is so difficult dragging myself in, I am now getting a formal disciplinary this week because of my absences. The problem is if I take 1 day off and then feel I should be in work the next day. Each time I am off counts. I was told by my manager at my last return to work interview that I probably shouldn't be in work at all on days. I feel I am being penalised for trying to do the right thing. The stress is really taking its toll on me. So please don't feel guilty about work, nothing is more important than your health and as I am finding out we do ourselves no favours by dragging ourselves in. Take care. Sending love x

  • Hi Lizzy

    So sorry to hear you are having to dragl yourself to work when clearly you are not well.

    Just wondered if your employer is aware of your RA diagnosis. I presume you are in the UK and I'm not but I know you are covered under disability laws so please get some appropriate advice before you 'accept' a disciplinary for absences relating you your diagnosis. The stress of trying to work to avoid disciplinary action will do your RA no good at all.

    There are others in this forum that should be able to point you in the right direction but don't just accept what a 'manager' says there a laws in place to protect you and a lot of times managers are not aware it would be HR or occupational health that would enforce the rules.

    Best of luck with everything

    Sharon 🌸

  • I'm also under stress at work because I sometimes have short term memory lapses. Not frequently, but periodic. I'm under a lot of stress at present and I know stress is not good when you have RA. I may have to give up my job eventually to eliminate the stress.

  • It really is so difficult. We are forced to give up some of our independence by being il through no fault of our own. You do have my sympathies x

  • Hi Lizzy-m

    This sounds so similar to the issues I had when first being ill and just after diagnosis - I had a new line manager just after I first started being ill,so I didn't have the 'loyalty' with him like the others were managing to achieve,and as such he made my life a living hell - it got to the point where I worked myself up so much each day just to be able to go to work(60 mile drive on motorways each way too) that I ended up being put on anti depressants for the first time ever just so I could get through the day without constantly being in tears!!! It got me to the lowest I'd ever been after a very short while,and I honestly thought there was no help,but then I discovered the disability lawyer service,which is completely free,and you will be covered under the DDA2010 act. Please speak to them,as you should not be bullied like this,or even made to feel that way,purely because you've had the misfortune of becoming ill through no fault of your own - it was the best decision I ever made,and it made work bearable again,as once they knew I'd taken legal advice(it got to a point where I had to send a letter in for the way they'd blatantly discriminated against me on one occasion,out of many) but it did the trick,plus I got the HR director involved,again on the advice of the lawyer service,that way I was dealing with someone that actually knew what they were talking about,and was far more understanding than the jumped up numpty who just ticked boxes beforehand!! My line managers snidely comments practically stopped within hours of them realising i'd taken legal advice,and they ensured that occ health were involved all the way - which although I was dreading to start with as it felt like I had to prove myself yet again,it was a fantastic move,as being an actual dr,they look at you and your situation instead of trying to compare you just not turning up against everyone else's attendance records. It truly made the difference in me feeling like I wasn't going crazy anymore - this was the start of me being able to take back some control over my own life,so please,for the sake of your health(mind and body) give them a ring and even if you just talk it through with them so you know where you stand,you'll be amazed at the weight that feels like it's been lifted from you!!

    Good luck,and I hope everything turns out as you need/want it to

    Nicki x

  • I completely understand how you feel. My boss and colleagues think I am taking the Mick! I've tried explainjng what RA is many times and how it affects a person but because I look ok they just think I'm being lazy. I'm really struggling with stress at the moment and had to take the last couple of weeks off. I'm normally so even tempered but the last few months have been rough and I find I am really grumpy and go from zero to 60 if someone is being an ass to me which is so unlike me! Doesn't help that I work with a bunch of A holes! I feel like a complete failure at the moment.

    Sorry I don't have any advice but I just wanted you to know you're not alone feeling like this x

    Hope your feeling better soon. At least we are finally getting some sun.

    Xx

  • I been off for three months, I am hoping to go back at some point although I know they will make it hard. Thanks for your reply it is good to know that I'm not alone,my family are supportive but they don't understand the daily struggle. I don't like asking for help but I know I need to swallow my pride now. I hope you feel better soon and that your stress levels go down. Take care. Xx

  • I have a problem at work. It's my hearing. So annoying to continually ask people to repeat themselves, I sometimes act like I hear them and nod my head. I wear hearing aids, but the background noise is magnified and I can't judge how loud I'm talking. My boss says I talk too loud. If I turn volume up on my computer to hear, boss asks me to turn it down. It's also hard to hear people on the telephone. Very frustrating.

  • Hello Tiggerlkr, I'm not working anymore, but before things got to the point that I had to stop working, I got a few vibes from some of my co workers, even one that was Spose to be my friend. They didn't like that I had to take more brakes & sit down more. They didn't like it that I couldn't Do my job as well anymore. It made me feel hurt. I was always a team player, but my illness didn't mean a thing to them. I hope u don't dwell on that to much. You know your a valuable person. Your disease does not define who u are as a person. Hang in there & hold your head high.🌻

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