Anger part 2

I then remembered how I have brought my daughter up . To be thankful for what she has. Not to feel sorry for herself because there are always ppl a lot worse off than we are. Im trying to remember this, but sometimes its difficult tp even consider others with so much pain n fatigue in my life, but this s**t of a disease won't make me a half empty glass when I have always been a half full glass

So I stick the proverbial finger up to RA.

15 Replies

  • I know that acceptance is less wearing than anger, but I'm still in the anger phase myself - and have been for years! It's the only thing that keep me going sometimes, so I'm with you.

  • Good for you darling.xxxx

  • I stick out my tongue too!!!

  • If 1 finger doesnt work try one on each hand. It doesnt deserve any of your respect or consideration. I swear the devil has initials and his name is R.A Lucifer.

  • RA has had a truly devastating impact on my family.I have had a tough year with two ops and sepsis.I recovered well but my daughter announced two days ago that she was cutting ties with me.Too much drama in her life and needs to re assess.I keep things low key.make no demands and am respectful of other peoples privacy.I am truly devastated and really cannot function at the moment.

  • This must be such a blow to you. I have no idea what I would do if my daughter did this to me. life is tough enough with all the medical issues we have. Im sorry your daughter feels this is the answer for her and wish you well with big hugs.

  • Something unarticulated happened to me with loss of contact. I tried to keep things going at a low level, Just emailed hellos and no demands. Now things are on a more even keel partly because she needs me/us to help with our grandson. I'd say go low key but discreet. We organised a special birthday party for me with 20 friends and her and grandson and that may have reassured her. She came and enjoyed it and saw I wasn't solely dependent on her.

  • Deer Cathie,

    You have done a very good job to show her that you are not totally dependent on her. Keep up with the good work but do not over stress yourself with any grand kid, you need to rest well and eat well to avoid any flare up.

    Sometimes I cannot just believe that our own kid can behave that way. Mother is always mother, we cannot keep away from her especially when she is sick and in pain.

    I am very lucky to have my daughter looked after me for 10 months during my peak of suffering hence I recovered very well and fast.

  • So sad Cathie.

  • Goodness me, hard to know what comfort we can give you at the moment. Cathie's reply seems to offer some hope, so small steps. On an emotional level we all need our family to be there for us. I live on my own with family nearby, am always ready to help them when I can. I do hope you can be strong until she comes round. Sending you hugs X


  • Thank you for the support.It has really helped me today.I have not over reacted but have stayed calm.I will work out what to do when I get more information.I need to take small steps so thanks to Cathie.Whatever the outcome I need to keep calm so my RA doesn't flare up.Thank you all.x

  • I should add that I've got a very supportive and understanding husband and I speak to a counsellor fort nightly which has really helped me to look at my feelings and try to understand her. Hard times come with RA.

  • Oh dear! RA is already painful enough for us to go through. We certainly need our family members to support us to recover fast. Added on to the suffering, I could not believe your daughter decides to keep away when you need her most!!

    When we are sick, no one can really help us to recover, only ourselves can do the job and can feel the pain. Do ignore those who go against you and do not let any emotional feeling affect you negatively. There are always many worse cases out there that we may or may not know off.

    Work on your health first and you will be slowly independent in future though the journey is never easy. I have been through the very painful stage hence I can feel how you feel.

    Take very good care and share your feeling with us here if you need to.

  • Oh latebird my heart cries for you. How can children be so cruel? Shame on them!! I hope that she realizes what she has done.

    My sister cut ties off with the entire family in 1994. She wouldn't accept phone calls or visits. All mail was sent back with the label "Return to sender" years went by and no contact.

    Aunts, Uncles, Grandparents and cousins tried and were turned away. Years passed and in 2009 one of our Uncles looked her up on the internet. He found her obituary. We were all heart broken. I can not explain the devistation this has caused.

    Please show you daughter this. 7 years after her death, we are still broken inside.

    All my love to you


  • You can indulge in a bit of self pity but only for a MOMENT then get over it and stick your finger back up to R A. Go girl !!!! lol xxxx

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