This may seem negative but I'm tired, ill and feeling miserable. I'm 25 years old, I should be out with my friends, not sitting at home in my PJs by myself. I'm home not due to RA symptoms but because I have a temperature and UTI thanks to cimzia and have been vomiting, again thanks to cimzia! Then, I have the monthly bouts of thrush thanks to MTX and headaches from leflunomide and of course, the countless infections and viruses and colds.
Sometimes I wonder if it would be best just to let the RA rage on because at least I'd know what to expect. I feel that because I agree to take all these medications, I am somehow inflicting this on myself. Maybe that sounds irrational but I'm feeling irrational.