Oh it's nice here, love the view it's nice being by the sea.
Lovely purple bedding (might have to buy it as a treat) and someone has left some beautiful flowers as a welcome gift, and I've just spotted a very large box full to the brim with chocolate yay (lots of fudge I love fudge)
Seems a bit quiet though hope I haven't scared any 3 month stayers away because I'm sure I saw people signed in.
Take care
MM xxx
Spent ages laundering those purple sheets, happy for you 
I think I left some beer in the communal fridge. Feel free!
Come on over and settle down, I have a full spa that you can enjoy
Day 61 going ok actually. Had a bit of a manic but nice weekend. Took my mad daughter to the opticians and had a wonder around about the shops, then on the way back towards the bus I decided I couldn't be bothered to cook so we all piled into Pizza Hut, they had an offer on so why not. Mind you I should have worn my elasticated trousers as I couldn't move when we left but it was lovely.
Today I've been clearing out rubbish that came along with us on the move, have been asking the ex for months to get the rest of his stuff and I told him last month just before we moved anything he didn't take I would either sell or dump. Well I've made just short of £60 so far 8 items ready to go on ebay and a front garden with stuff ready to go to the tip. Feels great actually but I am just waiting for the nasty stuff to hit the fan when he realises I was in fact serious.
I am thinking about dropping down again on my patch strength, I still have some left from last time, so starting tomorrow might start on the 10 again, I think the 25 is too much because I seem to have a permanent headache when I'm wearing one.
It's funny though even though the Ex hasn't seen the Madbabies in 3 weeks normally I would be chewing my hand off trying to be calm, this weekend I just shrugged my shoulders and said Ok then whatever, I am at the point where it's not me missing out on them and I can't make him be a proper dad and yelling and screaming at him is not going to make him change.
Phew sorry for rambling on, How's everyone else doing
How are things? you've been quiet for a while.
I am very much looking up to you right now....can you see me down here? LOL I am very proud of you!
Hurray for a non smoker proud Independent Madmum!!!! The world needs more like you xxx
Madmummy haha, your flying with your quit be proud...
Hi Madmummy, well done on the new room! You are doing fab.
Congratulations to you. Good going.
Madmummy certainly scared me off...into the next room. A little late but I moved into Month 4 on the 19th. Maybe you have my old room.
Congrats on reaching the third month, hope you took time to celebrate.
My how very well you are doing, it's just great, and while I do understand all the aftermath of relations gone sour, You my lovely are showing true grit in your quit, just fantastic.
Day 74 for me today and I'm sorry I've been missing in action for a while. It seems that at the moment it's 1 step forward and 3 back and I just can't break through to a happy place.
I have been given some anti depressants from the Dr because I finally admitted I wasn't feeling 100%, I am seriously moody, miserable and horrible person to live with at the moment. I wanted to beat these feeling but it seems I can't do it on my own. The final wake up call was when my daughter said she preferred me smoking because at least I wasn't moody all the time. That was a real slap in the face.
I was convinced 10 was the next step down and spent time arguing with the chemist that's what I was on before, it turns out it is 14. So that's what I'm on now, but I'm hating the taste of the gum and not using that anymore just regular gum.
I've had a few wobbles and have even thought about just having 1 especially in the mornings you know just to help!! It's that one first thing I really really do miss and it's the mornings when I first get up that I could murder anybody that comes within 5 miles of me. I really thought things would start to get better but I feel worse than I did when I smoked but I've never gone this long before when I've tried to quit 43 days was my longest. Will it get better? Does it get better? Will this feeling ever go away? When do we get to the happy place?
People keep saying with everything that is going on I'm doing really well but I feel I've replaced one crutch for another.
I'm sorry for such a miserable post but at the moment I just don't feel I've got anything great to add.
Take care everyone
MM xxxxx
Madmummy I'm so so sure it will get better...not from personal experience coz i'm only on five weeks and (so far) haven't really struggled too badly - but I know people who have quit, and they've all moved on...that's no help though is it? You're doing SO well - I don't know how old your daughter is, but I'm guessing that was just something to say, and not a thoroughly considered opinion...they're lovely, but they're spiky too, aren't they, daughters.
I feel unqualified - can we get some penthouse-residents in here to give Madmummy some cheerleading please?
PS, hope today is kind to you Madmummy x
For me, apart from week one which was awful, week 3-4 CT were not good, in fact pretty pants. From week 5 onwards appears to be just digging your heels in. The craves lessen and thoughts of smoking lessen. I was smoking 30 a day, am 48yrs and started smoking at 18 yrs.
I think weaning yourself off very slowly from NRT would be kindest.
Just think of those endless stupid o'clock trips to the garage to buy a pack of fags and the first week, keeps my quit safe! X
Room for a little one?
Complicated or just crazy in my head
