Hello Month No. 2 :)

[nsd_user663_50221]

Officially in my second month without smoking!! I can't believe I've made it this far. I also feel it's getting so much easier lately cause I've been through some tough days with almost no cravings (or at least nothing I couldn't handle easily). I'm realistic, I know I'll probably still have hard days every now and then and I'm not letting my guard down, but today I'm feeling sooo proud of myself

[nsd_user663_50467]

Congratulations Jessica.

Just remember back to day one - I bet you could never imagine getting to month 2!!

Brilliant Achievement!

xx

[nsd_user663_48073]

Well done Jessica.

Keep on Keeping on.

[nsd_user663_42390]

Excellent

Officially in my second month without smoking!! I can't believe I've made it this far. I also feel it's getting so much easier lately cause I've been through some tough days with almost no cravings (or at least nothing I couldn't handle easily). I'm realistic, I know I'll probably still have hard days every now and then and I'm not letting my guard down, but today I'm feeling sooo proud of myself

Well done! The hard days will be few and far between now, you have passed the really hard ones!

[nsd_user663_50221]

Month 2 has been going incredibly well for me till yesterday. Yesterday I had probably the scariest experience of my life so far. In the middle of the day, I was followed into my building by a man who attacked me from behind, knocked me down and tried to rape me. Luckily a neighbor heard me screaming for help and came out before he managed to get any of my clothes off. I have to say I live in a really good neighborhood, there are even a couple of office buildings, a restaurant and a bank and a gym 2 minutes away from my building so the streets are always full of people, especially in the middle of the day. I think this is why this whole thing was so scary, because it was so unexpected. I mean, if I was coming home by myself after some crazy party at 3 a.m. in the morning I could get it, I created the circumstances for something like that. But now...I went out to the shop around the corner to buy milk and cheese. And now I'm freaked out, probably a little paranoid too cause I keep thinking he could come back, he knows where I live. I didn't get a good look at him, he did attack me from behind after all, I couldn't describe him no matter what. I'm scared to go out by myself, this morning at 6.30 a.m. I was scared to get out of the building to go to the gym because there aren't so many people on the streets at that hour yet. I used to go jogging at that time and I honestly don't know when I'll have the courage to do that again.

Bottom line is all this stress and paranoia and freaking out is just making me think I'd love a cigarette to calm my mind down. And there's a voice inside my head and it does tell me I'd be incredibly stupid to smoke to actually believe I'd feel better cause I'd probably feel even worse. So far I've managed to listen to that little voice. Hopefully I'll manage till this panic moment goes away.

[nsd_user663_49741]

OMG Jessica I hope you are ok I cant imagine what you are going through, I Know it wud be easy to give you all the crap about u dont need to smoke and you are a bigger person etc etc but I really don't know how I would react in your situation so all I can say is the most important thing is that you were unharmed physically and I hope you have plenty of friends and family support to help you through the emotional part.

All the best

[nsd_user663_50221]

I'm back! And I'm proud of myself! I made it through the worst! I talked, I took deep breaths, did some yoga, listened to music and wrote into a journal (even though I actually don't keep one). I do know the no smoking part was probably not as important as healing emotionally and there were actually a few people who told me to just smoke because I'm doing more harm to myself if I add the "no-smoking stress" to my life right now. I chose not to listen. In part I think it actually helped with taking my mind off of things. Now I'm pretty much ok. I even went jogging yesterday evening, here in my neighborhood and I didn't have a panic attack so I guess I'm on my way to forgetting about it and moving on. Plus, 4 days from now I'll be celebrating 50 days smoke free!!

[nsd_user663_50221]

Yuppyyyy!!! I did it. I got to the 50 days smoke free mark and successfully passed it!! I had a hard time with that attack, but these past few days have been so easy, I had no wish to smoke. Of course I'm not letting my guard down. I don't wanna become the type of person who ends up saying 'I've done for so long, I can try just one too see how it feels', I saw my ex do just that after 3 months of not smoking and he was back to one pack a day in no time. Anyway...today I'm just being happy for my achievement!!

[nsd_user663_50221]

I thought I should drop by and say my goodbye to this house. Moving to a new one in a few hours in the Month 3 forum!!! Good bye Month 2 home, it's been nice here, but the next one will be even better