Still Suffering

Hi all,

I quit smoking on new years day so i'm on day 73 and I have to confess i'm still suffering.

Hardly a moment goes by that I am not thinking about smoking and I have several occasions everyday when my body wants to smoke so bad I almost do - I repeat ALMOST - I have no intention of doing so and I am pretty confident I never will but it's grinding me down feeling like this constantly so far on.

I have even had vivid dreams about smoking the last couple of nights, so vivid was the dreams that I smoked the evening prior that I woke furious with myself for giving in even though I hadn't in realilty.

Is it normal to still suffer this way so far into the quit?

32 Replies

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  • Its not that unusual to feel this way around the 3rd month. The novelty has worn off and you are now learning to live life as a non smoker. I found 100 days was one of the most significant milestones as far as getting over smoking was concerned, I hope it will be for you too.

    For me there were good days and bad days (and ones in between) and by 100 days the good days were getting much more frequent and the bad ones far fewer. The way I see it I smoked for the majority of my adult life so expecting to get over it in a few weeks would be unrealistic, I had learned to live my adult life with an emotional crutch, and I just had to re-learn how to exists without it. Of course it wasn't really a crutch it was a drug I was addicted to but I had come to think of it as a crutch, or reward, or stimulant, or relaxant according to the situation. Eventually I broke down all those associations and I didn't even think of smoking.

    Hang in there it will improve, I promise.

  • Thanks for your reply,

    Hopefully it will ease shortly then. I was concerned that after what seems an age I feel little or no more at ease than when I first quit.

    Again thanks for your help.

  • Hi

    I've not got as far as you yet as only on day 11, so I am not an experienced quitter! However I did read on one of the links recommended by another forum member that 3 months tends to be quite a hard time for a lot of people. So it does appear to be quite common to still feel like this at your stage. I like to look ahead to try and prepare myself of what to expect!! Not sure if it's a good or bad thing though! Ha.

  • Hello Chilihound

    Hello Chilihound

    Had a similar experience to you after 50days and towards 100 days, relieved that I'd managed to stop but not quite sure of my quit, not sure of it's strength. As Nic says the first flush gets you through the early days and then the impetus seems to run out, this is when you're renorming and need to get use to the new life of not constantly going into withdrawal every hour cos you need nicotine, that's why life felt a little flat for me.

    At the time I focussed on my next goals, I also focussed on Great North Run and lots of sports. I didn't leave much time to contemplate. I was here alot in the evenings, learning, reading and enjoying some banter.

    Right now you just need to keep on keeping on, read ahead, read some of woofmang's tales, take up a new hobby.

    Good luck and feel free to PM me if you need help.

    M

  • It's always around the 3 mnth mark I fall down and then think how stupid to have wasted that time and effort.

    Hopefully this time I'll get by that mark having learnt from past mistakes.

  • I am only a week or so longer quit than you and am finding, as I did on my previous quit, that it is hard right now.

    I do think it has a whole lot to do with being mundane - not smoking is actually quite boring and it seems like a depressing life. I think it is because you have lost the adrenaline type rush of saying no. It is no longer such a big deal that you survived a day without smoking, yet you are not far enough removed from your smoking life to be confident in the quit!

    It also can feel like "well I made it this long, I can always have one and then start again", especially as the memories of that first week fade. Having lost a quit to that thinking a year in, I hope I have learned that lesson.

    So, for me it really is the boredom of not smoking, my friends no longer even ask me if I want to join them for one, so I don't get the power of saying no, and feeling good about myself. Basically, a bit like a new car is all exciting when you first get it, and you want to learn all the buttons and show everyone, then eventually it just becomes the thing to get you where you need to go, this is what the quit becomes - it is no longer new and shiny!

    Hope this makes sense

  • 7 days

    i have gone 7 days now and feeling good ,but today i realy feel like a smoke but not given in to the drug

  • Thanks all, I was thinking there was something wrong with me like my adiction was super strong but it seems a lot often feel this way and it's actually normal so phew.

    Thanks again and good luck all

  • I am the exact same i keep thinking about smoking all day long, not wanting one but all i think about is that life is boring without smoking and what if i never get over it and think about smoking for the rest of my life.

    It sometimes gets to the point where i think this is not worth all the mental trauma and suffering, just go back to normal and have a fag!!!

    why am i still like this after 2 months and 7 days!!!

    thanks for any advice.

  • Two the last two posters it does get better trust me.

    I don't want to frighten you but you need to get at least another 4 months under your belts.

    You must stay with it as you are going through the toughest part from what i can remember last time.

    I take each day as it comes but secretly i want to jump straight to the 6 month mark and beyond. That's a milestone i felt i could handle cravings far better.

  • I'm at 5 months quit and felt like you all do at 3-4 months quit. Only really got my head in a better place so to speak. until recently Hang on in there, month 5 and things are looking up. I don't think about smoking so much and I'm more settled with my new non-smoking me. Keep with it, these thoughts do not last.

    All the best and stay strong for a little while longer.

    Lisa xx

  • ok thanks for the replies,

    i just keep thinking that there is something wrong with me and i have to smoke to get through life or it will be boring!!!

    Is there anything i can do to make the thoughts go away or is it just a case of even if the thoughts are there just keep getting through each day?

    Thanks

  • Think we have just got to believe that it will get easier in time.

    If you think back to day 1, week one etc seemed a lifetime away where we are now. Hopefully 6 months quit will be here soon enough and maybe get on with life a bit more.

    Bores me thinking about it/fags, even when im busy i think good job im busy or id be thinking about it which i am.

    In a scientific experiment Im trying copious amounts of wine to make thoughts go away

  • Hiya I'm too am a new year quitter and like you I'm struggling to get on with life without smoking. I can relate with you, it feels like there is nothing to look foward to when waking, after a hard day at work, after a meal and with a drink. It feels like my best friend has left me, pathetic I think but hey its what i'm feeling.

    At the moment i'm spending a lot of time at the leisure centre, going swimming doing a couple of aerobic classes and using the steam & sauna room.

    Yes I still fancy a smoke but no i'm not having one:(

  • [Looking back smoking wasnt a treat(how many did we really enjoy?), but it felt like one. Getting that same feeling (really the self inflicted scratch of an itch) is tricky.

    Exercise is good, and just generally keeping busy.

    Hate smoking but miss it, NOPE is the way forward HOPE we all can

  • You all sound to me like you have not yet had the change of mindset needed to make the quit easier and sustainable.

    You are all still looking back on smoking as something pleasurable, something to look forward to, something to give yourself as a reward, something to relieve boredom or something to relieve stress etc.

    In truth, smoking is/was none of those things.

    You only smoked to stave off the withdrawal pains caused by the previous cigarette. You weren't actually relieving stress, you were trying to prevent the nicotine in your body dropping too low from the last cigarette.

    It's only in your mind that the smoking relieved stress. The truth is, smoking caused the stress in the first place.

    You have to move away from the thought that you are giving up something good. You are in fact giving up something that was bad for you and choosing a better life for yourself.

    Take off those rose tinted glasses. Smoking isn't, and never was, all that. :)

  • Well said Capitan,

    You are all still looking back on smoking as something pleasurable, something to look forward to, something to give yourself as a reward, something to relieve boredom or something to relieve stress etc.

    When I was smoking full on it wasn't pleasurable, it was a compulsion. It didn't relieve boredom, and certainly not stress, in fact it caused it. I used to lie in bed at night with my heart pounding in my ear, so it relieved stress?? Yeah right. I thought I was going to die.

    You have to move away from the thought that you are giving up something good. You are in fact giving up something that was bad for you and choosing a better life for yourself.

    True. Quitting doesn't work if we feel we are depriving ourselves, but when we realise that we are gaining freedom then that is when things start to fall into place. I didn't understand this when I first tried to quit, but having relapsed more than once :o and knowing the despair and frustration that caused me, I do now.

    Today is a new day, and its cool being a smoke free one.

    Stay strong, we can do this xx

  • Oooh Zoe - look at you double quoting! Very impressive!

    It's eight months since I last smoked, and all the percieved romance has gone. :)

    I never miss it, and I never feel deprived. Once in a blue moon, I acknowledge that I would have smoked in a certain situation. Yesterday, it was when I was taking a breather from my gardening. Sitting by the pond in the sunshine - I would certainly have lit up in the past. But I didn't feel tempted.

    The boredom thing is interesting, and this has been a really positive revelation to me. At this stage, far from feeling bored by not smoking, I love the way that my focus and concentration has improved. I now get much more "into" whatever I am doing because I no longer have that internal dialogue about when I can fit in my next fag.

    Just stick with it folks - it honestly does get better. Much better. :D

  • You all sound to me like you have not yet had the change of mindset needed to make the quit easier and sustainable.

    You are all still looking back on smoking as something pleasurable, something to look forward to, something to give yourself as a reward, something to relieve boredom or something to relieve stress etc.

    In truth, smoking is/was none of those things.

    You only smoked to stave off the withdrawal pains caused by the previous cigarette. You weren't actually relieving stress, you were trying to prevent the nicotine in your body dropping too low from the last cigarette.

    It's only in your mind that the smoking relieved stress. The truth is, smoking caused the stress in the first place.

    You have to move away from the thought that you are giving up something good. You are in fact giving up something that was bad for you and choosing a better life for yourself.

    Take off those rose tinted glasses. Smoking isn't, and never was, all that. :)

    That is exactly what i am doing i keep think i was a better person when i smoked and i had more fun and i am really scared that life is boring without smoking. i dont know how to change my mindset because i know that it is bad for you and i am choosing a better life but all i think about is smoking over and over again.

    how can i get past this!!!

  • You all sound to me like you have not yet had the change of mindset needed to make the quit easier and sustainable.

    You are all still looking back on smoking as something pleasurable, something to look forward to, something to give yourself as a reward, something to relieve boredom or something to relieve stress etc.

    In truth, smoking is/was none of those things.

    You only smoked to stave off the withdrawal pains caused by the previous cigarette. You weren't actually relieving stress, you were trying to prevent the nicotine in your body dropping too low from the last cigarette.

    It's only in your mind that the smoking relieved stress. The truth is, smoking caused the stress in the first place.

    You have to move away from the thought that you are giving up something good. You are in fact giving up something that was bad for you and choosing a better life for yourself.

    Take off those rose tinted glasses. Smoking isn't, and never was, all that. :)

    Well said Capitan - I could not agree more.

  • That is exactly what i am doing i keep think i was a better person when i smoked and i had more fun and i am really scared that life is boring without smoking. i dont know how to change my mindset because i know that it is bad for you and i am choosing a better life but all i think about is smoking over and over again.

    how can i get past this!!!

    Hi Silky,

    I suggest purchasing "Allan Carr's Easy Way to Quit Smoking" - If you havent already done so it is an excellent way to help change your mindset and I would suggest that is exactly what you need to do in order to be succesful.

    Good luck

    Mark

  • Hi Silky,

    I suggest purchasing "Allan Carr's Easy Way to Quit Smoking" - If you havent already done so it is an excellent way to help change your mindset and I would suggest that is exactly what you need to do in order to be succesful.

    Good luck

    Mark

    Thats what i read to stop smoking do you suggest that i read it again??

  • Thats what i read to stop smoking do you suggest that i read it again??

    It just seems to me that you are still romanticising smoking and feeling like you are missing out on something in life - Educate yourself so you can change your mind set to realise that smokers are slaves to nicotine, they are not enjoying cigarettes, they are addicts.

    My opinion is change your mind set and the rest is easy. I’m not exaggerating but this quit for me has been easy all except the first month.

    I now watch my girlfriend smoke and instead of feeling like I am missing out I actually feel sorry for her, she is still in the trap and I hope eventually she will realise it. Many of my friends are smokers and it actually rules their lives, to be honest it is pathetic. Don't get me wrong I was as brainwashed as they are, I thought I loved smoking and would never be able to quit, I smoked pretty heavily for over 15 years and I can honestly say the last 6 months have been the best by far.

    I wish you good luck but education is the key to staying quit.

  • thanks for the advice, i am trying to change my mindset because i know that it is an addiction and i never enjoyed it, and i may only want to try that ONE but that just leads to the rest of them.

    I think i am finding tough because i also suffer from OCD which is probably the reason why i think of smoking every minute of the day beacuse i am that obsessed with it.

  • Don't do it!!! Just say NO!!! I am on day 86 now and I was smoking 3 packs a day. That's 60 fags each and every day. For whatever reason this quit has been very easy for me. I am so grateful for that.

    I have been super stressed the past couple of weeks. My daughter was pregnaunt and had complications. She ended up having the baby early. Baby was born with a heart murmur, then after he comes home he stopped breathing and turned blue. Ended back in the hospital after that one. He is now back home and doing better. I flew out to Tx. to be with them and help the parents with my other grandson. Both of my daughters and husbands live in Tx. so I was around 3 of the 4 smoking. A few times I felt like it but I didn't give in and am happy that I didn't let it win...ppat

  • Thanks for all the advice,

    I went and bought one of those cheap fake fags from Asda which have no nicotine or anything just gives you a kinda funny taste but it seems to be taking the edge off a little bit.

    I now feel like have a let myself down by going back to my normal routine but i was cracking up.

    Is this a good idea or should i get rid of it?

    Thanks

  • Thanks for all the advice,

    I went and bought one of those cheap fake fags from Asda which have no nicotine or anything just gives you a kinda funny taste but it seems to be taking the edge off a little bit.

    I now feel like have a let myself down by going back to my normal routine but i was cracking up.

    Is this a good idea or should i get rid of it?

    Thanks

    Hey if it helps give it a go, in my opnion as long as you are not putting nicotine and all the other harmful chemicals into your system then you are winning.

    I have heard a lot of people have a problem with not having anything do do with their hands etc but funnily enough despite 20 smokes a day I didnt struggle with that.

  • the same!

    I'm so glad you all feel the same! I'm at the point where I can't be bothered to do anything, my house is a mess and I can't be bothered to clean it. I've no idea why this is. I used to use fags as a reward..."I'll just clean the bathroom, then I'll have a fag" etc, and that would drive me on...I can't do that any more...Also, life just seems completely more mundane, there doesn't even seem any point in cleaning the house - can anyone give me a good reason why I should???? I absolutely HATE feeling like this, but life at the moment seems so futile, and I have no idea why life felt less futile when I smoked?????????

  • I'm so glad you all feel the same! I'm at the point where I can't be bothered to do anything, my house is a mess and I can't be bothered to clean it. I've no idea why this is. I used to use fags as a reward..."I'll just clean the bathroom, then I'll have a fag" etc, and that would drive me on...I can't do that any more...Also, life just seems completely more mundane, there doesn't even seem any point in cleaning the house - can anyone give me a good reason why I should???? I absolutely HATE feeling like this, but life at the moment seems so futile, and I have no idea why life felt less futile when I smoked?????????

    If you were on your deathbed, I doubt you'd be saying, "I wish I kept the house cleaner."

    Don't worry about why you don't want to clean house. It will sort itself out in due time. Meantime, don't smoke. :)

  • I expect when we 'give up' smoking we are giving up something that has been with us for so long and have built a relationship with. It's like any romance that dies and what is life worth without love?

    So it's all about learning how to live again, how to love again without the nico to focus on. It will take time for the grieving process and it can be very boring waiting for the time to pass. I, like others, are impatient to get to the 3 month mark, 6 months and to the Penthouse and beyond but what a waste of time thinking like that. Make the most of your time, fill your time differently and the spaces (and mental pathways) that were once filled by smoking will be filled by something else .. new loves.

    I liked Mrs T's post ..

    The boredom thing is interesting, and this has been a really positive revelation to me. At this stage, far from feeling bored by not smoking, I love the way that my focus and concentration has improved. I now get much more "into" whatever I am doing because I no longer have that internal dialogue about when I can fit in my next fag.

    Just stick with it folks - it honestly does get better. Much better. :D

  • Felic .. it shows great strength to turn that around once making the decision to go buy some - a bit like trying to get my border collie to come back once she has set off in 'chase mode'. Well done!! :)

  • good!

    well done felic2012, keep it up, and good luck with the new job!

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