Hi fellow non smokers!!

Hi all,

I am on day 4 of quit attempt 50 (not kidding) in the last 3 years 6 months. I gave up previously for 9 years, CT and found it incredibly easy (after the first few days). I had read Allan Carr and it seemed to really sink in to my subconscious. I started smoking again as I was at an all time low in my personal life so I turned to my old mucker, Mr Malborough Lite. He held me up when I was falling down. But after I was feeling O.K again, I simply didnt have the willpower to quit, although I tried every 2 weeks or so. Recently I posted on this site and made it to day 5. The weekend came and I went to a dinner, surrounded by smokers and after 3rd glass of vino, succumbed without a fight. Pathetic, I know. Self-hatred at my weakness and desire to quit prompted me to try again on monday and so far so good.

I am on the patches and they are a help as I dont feel too bad physically. Mentally, in times of stress I think about fags and yesterday I tried my back-up plan of top-up nicotine lozenges. Absolutely vile. I dont know if anyone else has found this but its like someone's trying to throttle you. Its how I imagine arsenic would feel at the back of your throat. I was nearly sick and took 15 mins to recover. At least I didnt feel like smoking as I was too busy trying not to puke in public. I did feel the nicotine kick in afterwards and felt calm etc. but definitely not worth retching for!

So i'll stick ! with the patches and see if i can hold out this time. I feel as if I know all the pitfalls of quitting. But smoking is such a sociable pastime and smokers seem more fun (they usually are, more rebellious, less prejudiced, able to sneer at the grim reaper etc, a generalistaion I know). I cannot (and never will) be able to tolerate intolerant people who moan about stinking clothes etc. How do they think smokers feel - they have to endure all the downsides of their habit all the time!!! I actually enjoyed passive smoking when I had given up long-term, but was resolute in my quit and just considered myself a non-smoker, so it was never a temptation.

I so wish I could recapture that feeling of victory i had over my addiction and wonder why it has been so difficult this time round. I am one of those smokers whose last thought at night is: "oh god, you fool, you are killing yourself!! but, in the morning i think "God, you're such a drama queen."

Anyway, as the weekend approaches, I can feel the cohorts of the Marlborough lite army marching towards me and I feel unarmed and vulnerable. I intend to stay alcohol-free and lock myself away safe from the lure of the ASDA fag counter. If I can make it to a week I may feel stronger and be able to mix, without fear of relapse, with the smoking fraternity. Regarding our smoking buddies, its so true, and I know as i did it myself; if you tell a smoker you've given up, they react almost like a jilted lover. Thats really good, they say , but actually they are thinking "you swine, how dare you leave me like this!!! They feel abandoned and lonely in their addiction, like the ship is sinking even further. But, as has been said here, maybe they will leave the ship and join you before it sinks. so after the initial dissapointment , smokers actually start asking you how you are doing and, if you are doing well, they ask you tips for quitting etc. So it's all good, really. Spreading the word should be a joyous thing, and now I shall just learn to excpect the usual initial reaction and not let it break my resolve.

I always remember Allan Carrs message "Never doubt your decision to stop"

Great advice that has brought me to day 4, not kicking and screaming for a fag. Thanks allan, RIP.

Not only that has helped me, i have been reading your posts and it has really helped me not to crack. Felt like a parasite, tho, so wanted to lob in my pennysworth. Hope I can sound more positive in the future, but, after so much failure I have forgotten how to spell succccesss!

Well done to all of you. the battle continues...until the war is won!

Cheers comrades

5 Replies

  • Hi Rachel

    Hi Rachel,

    I hope you're feeling a bit more positive today. Keep reading the posts on here, especially the links in people's signatures. I know i am no expert as only on day 5 myself, but would have cracked by now if it wasn't for this forum.

    Good luck and stay strong!!



  • Totally know what you mean about not being able to recapture that victorious feeling you have during a successful quit. My most successful attempt was when my kids had got to the age when they realised the damage caused by smoking, and I think that powered me on.

    Having given up before, I thought I would easily be able to slip back into 'no-smoker' mode - I was so wrong. I don't know why some attempts are different to others, but they are. I'm the same as you - I would read Allan Carr and feel virtually reprogrammed on one attempt, then would re-read it for another attempt and it would just pass me by.

    As you've found, the only way to to crack it is to keep trying! I feel the same about weekends - after 5 relatively easy days, I know this weekend will be my biggest test so far. Just keep busy and stay focused on what you want to achieve - that's what I'll be doing too.

  • Hi, well done getting your first 4 days done. Lots of people say they have found it easier to stop before, I think that may be the reason they started again, because they thought it was always easy.

    Best wishes.


  • Hi Rachel :)

    Well done restarting your quit and getting to day 4

    Below is my standard welcome and advice post which I try and give all new members I know you're a returning rather than a new member but thought maybe you'd like a refresher I apologise in advance if this causes offence

    Welcome to the forum and well done on the decision to quit possibly one of the most important you will ever make and you will be losing nothing but you will regain control of your life and that has to be good

    You will find all the help and support you need on here as we all help each other just like a family we are here for you every step of the way cheering the good days and sympathising with the bad but the good far outweigh the bad

    Read the posts on here you will find a lot of tips and advice and in the signatures of a lot you will find links to other sites just click on them Here are 2 I find very good to start you off whyquit.com and woofmang.com Read, read and then read some more as the more you read and learn about why you smoked and about your addiction the easier your quit will be

    This link is good for the psychological part of quitting whyquit.com/whyquit/A_Sympt...

    Post often to let us know how you're doing, to rant, rave have a moan whatever you like pretty much anything goes on here OK



  • Friday Night and doing alright!!

    Hi, thanks so much for your support. Good to know that other people have the same difference in their resolve. Every quit is different, just like everything is unique in the world, but lots of things are similar. I suppose it is because we have changed as we live longer, so our brains have changed too.

    Anyway, its friday night and i had a really long day at work and by late afternoon, I could feel the Nicky monster tapping me on the shoulder offering his support. But instead of meandering to the shops on the way home, I took a direct route and didnt stop. Was meant to get some shopping but didnt risk being tempted by a queueless fag counter in the supermarket. So the result is no fags but no food!!! I am delighted with this as - no dinner, no need for after dinner ciggie!!!

    I'm sure I can find somethng in the cupboard so i wont starve. Why must friday feel like reward night etc??? Seriously, I am so proud to have made it to day 5 without cracking and am going to treat the weekend as a challenge which I am determined to win. i honestly could not do this if it wer'nt for this forum. just to know there are others suffering like myself makes the torture less of a solitary confinement. So thanks again and well done for being so positive. I am also doing this as my son hates it.

    And no , Margaret, I really appreciate your message and in no way does it offend. You are fantastic in your efforts to encourage others and show that it can be done (long term). so thanks to you! Its actually not that bad and I feel so much better physically. I am breathing better, hardly coughing at all. Which isnt good actually, because you are meant to cough when you give up. But i just lose the smokers cough after 24 hours and then no cough at all. Strange and it is this that has led me to relapse before as I think well, it wasnt doing me any damage really......But when I am smoking I generally feel unfit, and mentally low because I am consciously killing me softly...

    So bring on the weekend. i shall brush the monster off my shoulder and laugh in his face!

    Take care comrades and thanks again. x

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