Anyon tend to feel overwhelmed?

Hello all. Hope all is well with you. I wonder if any of you out there have experienced the following paradox:

While a smoker, I felt like a rat in a cage, knowing that I didn't have the time/money/energy/motivation to take my life to the next level. I knew I needed to quit to gain these things back!

Since quitting, I have indeed gotten my mojo back. However, at times, it is almost too much for me to handle. I am moving every second, feel like there is an overwhleming amount to do, not enough hours in a day. It's ironic, of course, because I am doing MORE than I was before (as a smoker), but now feel like a rat on a treadmill!

I'm a type A (as I suppose many smokers are) and I think one of the things I 'used' smoking for was to block some of the perfectionism, the constant feeling that I am falling behind.

Any comment welcome! :o

10 Replies

oldestnewest
  • Hi Julie

    Sorry, but I'm not sure what you mean by Type A Person.

    I can relate to feeling that whilst I'm doing more than when I smoked, and seemingly wasted a lot of time in the day, I do feel there is yet more I could do.

    I think, for me anyway, that due to the 'still missing' the smoking and the routine part of what it gave me, there is a part of my brain that is 'wanting more' of something.

    I do have some small OCD tendencies and do recognise them when they pop their various heads up and can relatively and easily recognise them for what they are and ignore/deal.

    Years ago it was stronger but having dealt with it/them I did feel somehow let down that so many other areas in my life didn't improve or give more satisfaction.

    With or without these things e.g., OCD (of the lesser degree) compulsive disorders, smoking, alcohol, we are on some basic level, the same person and maybe, with out them, we think more things should improve than they do?

    Blimey............ I've no idea if that is relevant or not to you post. Confused my self now, not hard :confused::)

    Pol x

  • Hi Julie :D

    I'm not a hundred percent sure I understand exactly what you mean here

    But as you say you're doing more than you did as you have all that extra time for other things

    Give it time to settle down try and be patient and let your heal completely which it will in time, you fed it a diet of chemicals when smoking it needs time to recover and get used to it's new life as do you

    Love

    Marg xx

  • hey julie,

    Thanks for your post, it rang some bells and made me realise something that I have been kind of realising but havent really put in its box until reading that.

    I think something I loved about smoking was the break it gave me. I havent smoked in doors for about 5 years, so it was also about getting outside and some "fresh" air!

    they say half the buzz of smoking comes from the increased oxygen we get when we inhale deeply.

    The idea of "fresh air" is just what it says on the tin. Its fresh. Its got more fresh unsused oxygen in it.

    this makes you feel good. In winter, expecially in cold parts of the world like the UK and northern USA we dont open the windows like we do in summer as we see it as a waste of good central heating money.

    the problem is, most of us have very good double glazing these days and our houses can have very little air circulation.

    basically, if you havent already seen where im going with this its that its important for us to get new oxygen into our houses if we are not going outside 3 times an hour to get it when smoking. Not getting fresh oxygen can make us feel frantic and like a rat in a cage.

    also, what smoking made me do was STOP. Stop being frantic. I just stood there and stared and smoked if I was on my own.

    Just try it. Stop what you are doing. Stand up and just stand like you would have when you were having a smoke. You dont need to give it the full 5 mins that you would have when you were a smoker. You can feel the panic and the stress fall away in about 15 seconds.

    Its hard to remember to STOP sometimes cos we havent got a nagging addiction to remind us anymore. but try it.

    Id be interested to know if this is as powerful relaxation method to anyone else or whether its just me?

    give it a go anyhow :)

  • Thanks for these replies.

    Marg - I am GLAD that you don't understand, means you don't share the problem!! :) Your words of wisdom are helpful all the same. Thanks.

    Pol - Type A and B personalities is old school psychology:

    en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Type_...

    I pretty much follow what you are saying, and, yes, I do think a related issue is thinking things should 'improve' more than they do. I stopped for 18 months about 10 years ago, and I think that I did think my life would suddenly be perfect (not consciously, of course) and that this was my ultimate downfall at that time.

    Bman - I think you hit the nail on the head when you say: 'also, what smoking made me do was STOP. Stop being frantic. I just stood there and stared and smoked if I was on my own.' It slowed me down -- mind and body -- now I have all this energy and ideas wizzing around my head. Thank you for your advice -- I will do it. I used to do deep breathing all the time, and I think I needed that reminder!!

    thanks, all.

    xxjb

  • I think bman has pretty much defined the problem and solution all in one post there. Nice one :)

    While i was quitting smoking in the early months, i used to take a cuppa outside to chat to the guys i used to smoke with anyway.. so i could see what i had given up and at the same time, i got some real fresh air.. unpolluted by smoke too as i stood far enough away from my friends while they indulged in their addictions.

    I haven't been out there since the weather changed though, ohh no no no :).. but its still fresh air, so perhaps taking a break from the stressy stuff and getting a quick blast of fresh air would do us good :)

  • Julie

    I think its geat that your interlectualising (sp..no idea??) giving up smoking...personaly im just a cockney grease monkey thats fighting a battle thats very very hard

    I love this site and the girls going on and on about wine and chocolate and cake and the fact i have no chance of competing with them on a brainy scale, but lets be honest who gives a sh*t, the goal is to not smoke isnt

    it???

    So whatever floats your boat and gets you through the day,week,month etc etc doesnt matter, but what i will say is that ive thought long and hard about the psychology of not smoking and mostly its bollocks, there is no good reason TOO smoke

    just some ideas without the flowers lol

  • errrrrrrrrrr sorry all for the fosters fuelled rant lol

  • Thanks for these replies.

    Marg - I am GLAD that you don't understand, means you don't share the problem!! :) Your words of wisdom are helpful all the same. Thanks.

    Pol - Type A and B personalities is old school psychology:

    en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Type_...

    I pretty much follow what you are saying, and, yes, I do think a related issue is thinking things should 'improve' more than they do. I stopped for 18 months about 10 years ago, and I think that I did think my life would suddenly be perfect (not consciously, of course) and that this was my ultimate downfall at that time.

    Bman - I think you hit the nail on the head when you say: 'also, what smoking made me do was STOP. Stop being frantic. I just stood there and stared and smoked if I was on my own.' It slowed me down -- mind and body -- now I have all this energy and ideas wizzing around my head. Thank you for your advice -- I will do it. I used to do deep breathing all the time, and I think I needed that reminder!!

    thanks, all.

    xxjb

    Hey JB

    Must admit agree with you about the Type A stuff and would say I have many Type A characteristics. Amongst which is the high standards we expect of ourselves and others and when those standards aren't achieved how this makes us react. I think you need to remember to be kind to yourself by having unreasonable expectations of yourself or by drawing a line in the sand - at this point all will be well, is setting yourself up to fail. You've quit, as long as you keep doing what your doing you'll stay quit.

    It's also serves as a good reminder to me that you managed to go 18 months and then relapse, right now I don't think I'll ever start smoking again but if it's happened to you (and countless others) it is important to never take another puff and to start believing that I can ever have a cig is a foolish thing, cause I'll just have to go through al this again.

    Keep going JB and give yourself the praise you deserve, don't knock yourself it doesn't make you strong.

  • errrrrrrrrrr sorry all for the fosters fuelled rant lol

    lol.....:d

  • Yep, it's good to get out with the smokers and just sit or stand with them and talk, like you used to do. Or, stay in and get to know the non-smokers.

    When I was giving up the first days I would go out and stick a fag in my mouth and suck like I would - only the ciggy wasn't lit.

    So, the feeling is there but it is smokeless.

You may also like...