8 months plus and of all nights, after supporting people and everything, I want a fag................ really want one badly. Imagining walking up the gas station and getting some, it's a 3 minute walk, no big deal.........
So going to regret this post......... I never post when I feel down like this........ so stupid.
I could easily smoke tonight, I want one so badly.............. it's always a choice though, no? I know I would regret it tomorrow.
I look back at my foolish 17 year old self............... wish I didn't have to deal with this crap on top of everything else.
How feked up is that............. to have such a crave out of no where?
You know why I started to smoke in the first place? First guy I ever fell for was a smoker............ he looked so cool and serene and I wanted some of that serenity. Who would have known I'd be a pitiful mess one day trying to get off them.
Sorry for this post........... very unlike me and chances are I will be back to being supportive Bella and all........... what a crap post.
Too bad everyone is sleeping just now............
xxx
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It will pass mine has and I feel good today, yesterday sucked but there's always a new day if ya stay on the quit. If ya want a can send ya a really good and easy Mojito recipe
I hope that mini rant did you the world of good and got it out of your system. It was just a moment which I think we will all have for a very long time. However this is a great place to rant in, because normally you calm us lot down.
Hi Bella so sorry you had such a crappy time and it had to be during our night. I do hope from my heart that you managed to get through by using all that great support you pass to others on yourself. I started smoking for exactly the same reason as you, my boyfriend, I wanted to know what he got out of it so I kept trying by smoking and guess what, I eventually found out, how I wish I hadn't. Thinking about you.
Jackie
Thoughts also to Thomas, Chrissie, Christine and Caroline, do hope you all feel much better today.
The whole point of the forum is to post when you are struggling you daft mare. I don't think you are on your own. (Well, at 3am UK time you probably were, but thats your fault for choosing to live somewhere with such a daft timezone. ;))
I am sincerely hoping you managed not to smoke. You know it will not make a blind bit of difference if you did. Nothing will magically get better. You would just be back on the same old hamster wheel of feeling guilty about smoking, killing yourself, smelling like a ashtray (hmm, maybe better than what you normally smell like) and knowing you need to quit.
I had a thought this week about how I wish sometimes I hadn't quit. In my head I felt that when I was smoking I never had to be constantly on my toes, never congratulating myself that I had quit. Just that life had been easy.
In fact I should have been wishing i'd never started and never become a stupid addict to the weed.
Always here my little friend. Great big up massive sloppy snog to you xx
See what you lot did now....... getting all teary again and that is so not me Probably cause I hardly slept........ I cried so much last night I figure I was due for a good cry......... must remember that it does nothing for my looks............. wonder if I can get away with telling people at work that I have allergies.......... I didn't smoke, a very good friend of mine had one for me instead........ funny enough he's a non-smoker....... go figure.
Twiste.... a mojito sounds so good right now..... can't get to my meeting this morning drunk though...... Chrissie, thank you xxx Can't listen to our rainbow song just now, would just get me started again.... Murph, best not tell you this was about a guy then, eh? Thanks Jackie for your nice words, you are a wonderful support xx Quit buddy, only you get a away with callin me a daft mare, love you xxx Bev and pingu my party girls.... thank you xxx
See what you lot did now....... getting all teary again and that is so not me Probably cause I hardly slept........ I cried so much last night I figure I was due for a good cry......... must remember that it does nothing for my looks............. wonder if I can get away with telling people at work that I have allergies.......... I didn't smoke, a very good friend of mine had one for me instead........ funny enough he's a non-smoker....... go figure.
Twiste.... a mojito sounds so good right now..... can't get to my meeting this morning drunk though...... Chrissie, thank you xxx Can't listen to our rainbow song just now, would just get me started again.... Murph, best not tell you this was about a guy then, eh? Thanks Jackie for your nice words, you are a wonderful support xx Quit buddy, only you get a away with callin me a daft mare, love you xxx Bev and pingu my party girls.... thank you xxx
Anyone has some sunglasses for me? I look like **** 2 people asked me if I was sick already..... great! Everyone feeling better? Murph? Younme? Bev? KTbird?
Hang on a minute here? Since when did the length of your quit negate you from needing support mmm? Come on now, it matters not what you post, or how you post.. if you are having a tough moment/hour/night, thats human.. and you can't just post on here when you are on top of things, you'll just feel you have noone supporting you otherwise.
So good for you for posting.. wish i'd been up late last night to spot the post, i'd have replied then and there for sure... i went for an early sleep sadly.
All better Fi.... back on track, no worries.... no way you gonna enter the penhouse without me.... I'll be 5 days behind you.... no more!
Jase, thanks for the nice post....... for some reason I never seemed to post when I struggled.... just harrassed my quit buddy a bunch Silly of me I guess...... this crave surprised the hell out of me, I had not had one in months..... couldn't believe it. As soon as I woke up though this morning, I was fine..... tired as hell but no craves. Glad your getting more sleep again! xx
'What a difference a day makes' - never more true than when your quitting nicotine.
You know what though bella? this caught you by surprise this did, but i think you can draw strength from the experience here too.. its taught you that no matter where you are on your quit..you are still healing the wounds of the addiction itself. Yes its easier, you probably won't get another day like that for months.. but its a nice reminder that the addiction you are fighting is still there somewhat.
Without reminders like that, you'd wonder what you are quitting here, and its better you get this, than to fall foul of the complacency and make a mistake one day without thinking.
I came to realise a while ago that these moments are entirely normal and are most certainly not a sign of weakness or a sign of addiction.
The only thing that can trigger your physical addiction to Nicotine now - is Nicotine. If you don't take any, you can't have withdrawals. Simples (how annoying is that word?).
What you experienced was probably a trigger, a response to a physical occurence or an emotion... the response was "I need a fag".
I still get them, and I'm pretty certain that a lot of ex smokers have them forever.... they used to bother me a lot. Every few days/weeks I would just get this feeling - seemingly from nowhere, and I hated it.... and myself.
Now I realise that it is simply a "hangover" from my days as a smoker, yet another wonderful part of the healing process. And you will be pleased to hear that as you deal with them they get weaker.
When they occur now, it is not much more than a slight annoyance - although I am certain that I will have another strong one sometime.
I am just happy to get them, to be honest. It means I am free, it means that I don't smoke.
And a part of me is happy I used to smoke - I wouldn't be able to know for absolute certain what a stupid thing it is to inhale tobacco smoke. And I wouldn't appreciate my hard won freedom so much.
Keep on keepin' on Bella - you really are doing great!
Come here and give me a big hug, please. I've got my teflon suit on...don't worry
Edit: what happened to Murph's warmed words to mankind? I'd even quoted them. Murph, welcome to the world of reverse post count vortex...the water's luvely. Mod3 is the swimming-guard....carp speedo's though
Thanks Stuart It was a trigger and throw some nice woman hormones in the mix and you've got a full fledged cry fest going...... women, I tell ya :rolleyes:
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Probably cause I hardly slept........ I cried so much last night I figure I was due for a good cry......... must remember that it does nothing for my looks............. wonder if I can get away with telling people at work that I have allergies.......... I didn't smoke, a very good friend of mine had one for me instead........ funny enough he's a non-smoker....... go figure. 
Here's what I've given up
grumpy, miserable,fed up!!!!
