any spare PMA

could do with some today. don't quite know why, i never do:confused:

OH has taken kids out so i can get on with the ironing, thats my life all fun, fun, fun (not complaining really). i am struggling, he has taken my car, because it fits all the kids in but i have an awful feeling that if i was willing to drive his, i would go to the shop to buy some :eek: it is day 33 for today (only just worked that out). i don't want one i want the whole packet, and the next.

why now?

i am hoping that tomorrow will be better cause kids at school, OH at work, basically no one around to stop me.

i know it is madness and that i don't want to do the last 33 days again, but right now i want to be a smoker:eek: and not a miserable non smoker, that is what i feel i am, rather than a happy ex smoker.

i will try and so some reading, to reinforce what i suspose i must know deep down.

thanks for reading guy, and for all those in the early stages of their quit, please don't think it has been like this for me for 33 days, it really hasn't i have had mostly really good days.

31 Replies

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  • Hey Bev,

    Sadly those days happen here and there but you stay strong and tomorrow will be better again. Read, read, read..... it will help you get back on track. These days will come less and less but you have to keep going forward and not look back. There is nothing that's worth looking back at anyways..... just a serious addiction that dictates your life. How you are feeling today WILL pass, okay! I had quite a few of those days spread all over the first few months but have not had one like it in over 2or 3 months now. Big Hugs to you xxx

  • Hey Bev, :)

    Thanks for posting your thoughts. That alone shows that you don't actually want to give in to Nasty Nic.

    It's good that the majority of your 33 days have been good and not a continual struggle. Unfortunately, and like Bella above shares, I struggled for ages...months tbh. But my determination in quitting held through and eventually I got to a point when things started to ease. Let me tell it does get better and we one year plus folk are testament to that.

    We all go through this slightly differently...variety is the spice ;)...but there are some consistent experiences and it has consistently been said that we should weather through the bad days as the good times are just 'round the corner. Find some distraction and just...persist...knowing that you have folk who care both at home, in the real world, and defo here in cyber land.

    If you slip then...

  • Bev, I know exactly how you feel. I had 2 days in my fourth month where I could have gladly smoked a whole carton. I would stand by the window and think, "I'll just nip over to the store and buy some! Who would care! What difference will it make!" But, I soon realized it was my old enemy nicotine whispering in my ear! Came to my senses and continued to fight the good fight! I am so glad I did, and you will be too! Keep going strong and remember -- NOT ONE PUFF! Jody

  • could do with some today. don't quite know why, i never do:confused:

    OH has taken kids out so i can get on with the ironing, thats my life all fun, fun, fun (not complaining really). i am struggling, he has taken my car, because it fits all the kids in but i have an awful feeling that if i was willing to drive his, i would go to the shop to buy some :eek: it is day 33 for today (only just worked that out). i don't want one i want the whole packet, and the next.

    why now?

    i am hoping that tomorrow will be better cause kids at school, OH at work, basically no one around to stop me.

    i know it is madness and that i don't want to do the last 33 days again, but right now i want to be a smoker:eek: and not a miserable non smoker, that is what i feel i am, rather than a happy ex smoker.

    i will try and so some reading, to reinforce what i suspose i must know deep down.

    thanks for reading guy, and for all those in the early stages of their quit, please don't think it has been like this for me for 33 days, it really hasn't i have had mostly really good days.

    Bev

    Imagine this hug as the biggest ijn the world then imagine it 10 times that ...huge hug just for you :)

  • how does anybody quit without you lot, thank you all so much for your sound advice, hugs, and well what can i say about Cav's post:eek:. Going to sit with OH and watch x factor and get an early night, hopefully things will seem a lot more cheery in the morning.

    Cav i showed my daughter the pic you posted and she said "tell he/she that they are very naughty" so just passing on the message.:D

  • Cav i showed my daughter the pic you posted and she said "tell he/she that they are very naughty" so just passing on the message.:D

    Yes, probably...but I bet you both giggled a bit :p

    Stay off those pesky cigs, Bev :mad:

  • Bev. you can do this if you want and i hope the following will strengthen your quit

    Marg

    I have done something so stupid - im sitting here crying and dont know what to do. I wasn'.t well enough to go to Norfolk and felt down, real down and let all the stupid negativity back in and just wanted to give up on my quit. I hate feeling unhappy. I went back in the bathroom and had a soak, washed my hair as i wanted to smoke and thought if i had wet hair i couldnt buy any and i knew no one would get me some as I made them all promise not too whatever.

    I came down and still felt sad- told boys i was going back to bed so they went out. Girls not around. I cried myself stupid and saw the box of cigars that have sat on the coffee table for 20 weeks and i thought why not. I held a big fat Cohiba in my hand, i sniffed it, i thought about it and a few mins later I LIT IT off the cooker flame. I have smoked over half, i have inhaled it.

    How stupid how bloody stupid.... all that work gone and one wont be enough i shall probably buy some cigs later as if i have lost i might as well do it in style.

    I did not light it in a stressy moment of madness- i thought about it. I thought about never take another puff before i lit it (in fact it didnt light straight away because i forgot to take the end off. dont know what came over me.

    Was joking this morning about when i hit one year and the fun things i had planned to celebrate

    All for now

    Chrissie x

    Don't do what i did Bev, it should have been five months today and i feel more sad now after well into a pkt of poison sticks than before i sparked up.

    It's crazy dont go there Bev - i was weak and chucked it akk away

    STAY STRONG

    You relax there, Chrissie.......... you're fine, take a deep breath, relax......... now get back to your quit and do whatever it takes to change your thoughts around. You made a big mistake, not that you smoked, but because you didn't post before you did. So stop feeling sorry for yourself (I mean this in the very nicest way, honest) and stop worrying. Fek the one puff thing..... It's not about one puff but changing your thoughts around so you won't feel the need in the first place. So change your thought and we're (I am) her for you if you need.

    And I think there was an apology to Bev somewhere, wasn't there?! I hope so!! ;)

  • I go away for a couple of days and look what happens lol.]

    Bev, stary strong you know you can do it. I to have wanted to go to the shop today for a whole packet, me and OH have had major fall out but I am not going to do it.

    I am sending you loads and loads and loads of PMA and hugs and cheerfulness.

    Stay strong hun

    xx

    Jx

  • O dear, Chrissie- don't worry if you had a slip- don't just let it be a big slip (I.E A BUY A PACKET OF CIGGIES SLIP- DAS IST VERBOTEN !!!:mad:) It doesn't mean all your hard work has gone to waste, it just means you had a small , temporary slip. You're a non smoker now and ya know it!:)

  • DAS IST VERBOTEN !!

    Ich habe nicht gewusst dass Du Deutsch reden kannst! ;)

  • :eek:

    ERR sorry Bella:o Ich nicht sprechen sie deutsch! ?( I merely took half a gcse , and have forgotten it all now , apart from Wer ist mein vater...? and Das ist eine Kuchen - this was very useful when i went to the Black forest last year :D)

    I could do some french if you like ?

    Le Poulet est dans le Jardin, avec Monsieur Marceaux. ( anyone remember those tricolore books, with Monsieur Marceaux poncing about his Salle est Manger eating his Petit Dejeuner ?)

    OK-that was probably really bad , long time ago now:(

  • Le Poulet est dans le Jardin, avec Monsieur Marceaux.

    The chicken is in the garden with Monsieur Marceaux? :confused: I hope you were not trying to say that I am a wonderful and super funny lady! Cause you would have been a bit off :rolleyes:

  • Ma petit cherie (?)Belle Bella;):)

    No- bugger it, really can't remember any useful french or german whatsoever at all now.:( that was kind of a wasted gcse year i think:D)

  • Bon soir

    mesage to short- but i think i have spoken for Manny

    I'm sure Manny is not going to appreciate being pulled into this :rolleyes:

  • hi

    you are doing great but its not easy my prayers are with you,you are a very strong person I have had days just like your day many times and many times I lost my quit ,so I realy can understand what you are going through my heart goes out to you,hang in there I know it is easy to say whatever you do dont be down hearted:rolleyes:Luv Jimbo

  • ok, i didn't know this was possible put a whole thread has been pulled, it therefore looks like i never responded to Chrissie. Just for the record I did.

  • ok, to stop me from thinking i am going mad, if something is pulled can the mods please leave a little note to say something has being pulled, otherwise i am going to need the help of the men in the white coats.

    just so i don't look mad, there was another post after my post above and now it has disappeared, gosh today is very confusing.

  • I saw it x

    How are you feeling re your craves chick? xx

  • Thank God Fiona, i really had a moment there, was about to pick up the phone to the funny farm and tell them i was seeing things:eek:

    My craves this morning seem more under control, still underlying but working on the PMA. I think the answer is maybe not to post how i feel, but just find someone elses post who has felt the same and read the responses to that. Might save a lot of trouble:D.

    Hope you are having a good morning.

  • Nope. Thats not the answer!

    You post.

    I will make you eat your own fingernails if you don't. And mine.

    Its important to be able to post if you are struggling. Thats part of the reason why the forum works so well. Its all a bit frazzled on here at the moment but I am sure it will calm down.

    Where are you in your quit now?

    Fi

    xxxx

  • please stop pulling posts, it does not help anybody. and it does not help my mental health.

  • Hi Fiona, frazzled yes, i keep seeing posts disappear:eek:

    I am proud to say i am on day 34, and it is great to say i had to work that out, i remember at the start knowing how many hours i had done, now i'm not sure how many days it is, that feels really good.

  • Bevyorks

    Posts breaking the NSD rules will be removed as stated earlier

    Moderator 2

  • Fine, can you clear up one more thing for me, which rule did Marg's post break?

  • Bev,

    Don't worry...the posts and threads that get pulled are recycled down the Andrex factory. Pretty soon we'll see them again in the littlest room'.

    Odd to pull some of them but at least nsd does have a green recycling attitude which is to their credit. I understand Mod2 takes the lead on recycling. She's a darling as well as being a good tree hugger.

    Well done on reaching 34. You're doing magnificently :cool:

    Cav

  • Fine, can you clear up one more thing for me, which rule did Marg's post break?

    Bevyorks

    The moderator's decision is final and not open for a public discussion

    Moderator 2

  • I go away for a couple of days and look what happens lol.]

    Bev, stary strong you know you can do it. I to have wanted to go to the shop today for a whole packet, me and OH have had major fall out but I am not going to do it.

    I am sending you loads and loads and loads of PMA and hugs and cheerfulness.

    Stay strong hun

    xx

    Jx

    Hi younme

    well done for not going shop proud of you .....

    x :)

    p.s nice to be back and penquin is back too yayyyyy

  • has anybody else being holding their breath this morning, just waiting to see what would happen. well i have just exhaled and i am soooo pleased.

  • has anybody else being holding their breath this morning, just waiting to see what would happen. well i have just exhaled and i am soooo pleased.

    Ah...yes well :o...that could have been me :o

    Been 'repeating' all night and hardly slept a wink :rolleyes:

  • Fine, can you clear up one more thing for me, which rule did Marg's post break?

    The moderator's decision is final and not open for a public discussion

    Not even to the person concerned apparently funny that

  • That's enough!

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