Right, I'll fess up right away. I had a moment of weakness on Saturday night.
It all started when I was doing some work on the new baby's room at home. I hadn't had the "decorating bag" out in a long while. At the bottom there was an old 10 pack of Marlboro Lights, with one broken cig in there. God knows how long it had been there...over a year probably. I thought "I'll throw that away when I go downstairs". I didn't.
Later that night the missus had gone round to a friends house for the night and I was left alone with a bottle of red and nothing on telly. I rapidly get bored and think back to the broken ciggy upstairs. Anyway, after about 60 minutes of wrestling with my concience, I made myself a roll up out of a year old cigarette and lit it.
The first puff tasted awful and made me retch a bit. The second made my tongue feel all wrong and made me feel proper sick. I didn't take a third puff and ran the whole contraption under the tap in the sink.
Now, I put it to you fellow quitters....shall I count myself back to day 1 (or day two now?) or do I let myself off this one? I was pretty drunk but got a really bad crave and caved in to it. If I'd done it out of curiosity or "just to see what would happen" I could let myself off, but in all honesty I did cave in because I'd had a craving.
Some advice would be good. Tell me what you think guys, I'm pretty disappointed with myself.
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I don't think it matters Munter (lol) -You are still gived up, you only had two puffs. They weren't nice.. This used to happen to me as i got stuck in a big cycle of having the night off 9with some fags) giving up again, smoking one, buying a packet, giving up again. I hadn't grasped that giving up smoking means never having another one...simples!
But yea, last time i let it happen i was drinking and bought a pack of ten. Smoked them really quick (They weren't nice) Left me craving more straight away, couldn't afford to buy anymore as was on sick benefit at time....Finally realsied the complete pointlessness of the whole sorry saga, and vowed to never take another puff.
Let yourself off the once, it happens to us all, but don't give your inner junkie permission for it to happen again.....which can happen., and before you know it you're a smoker again.
Its a hard one though. I'd say the fact that you didn't ditch it the minute you discovered it says to me you had an idea you may 'need' it at some point in the near future. Good on you for 'fessing up though. If that had been on any of my previous attempts of quitting i'd have stashed it, then been salivating at the thought of secretly smoking it at the first chance I had!
All I would say if you ever get tempted again come on here and get some one to see you through, yesterday for reasons I want bore you with I sruggled and came on here and POL was good enough to see me through to the other side GOOD ON HER and hence no ciggy so I am fortunate not to have blipped so no I think you should just continue as if but let it be a lesson
Actually, you're all right. I didn't enjoy it and if anything it's made me LESS likely to want a fag. I really did feel sick and the taste on my tounge was really really bad.
My big test is next weekend when I'm going away with some old friends for a lads night out. Hence the painting and decorating...I'm in need of the brownie points! Part of my rationalisation Saturday night was "well you're going to smoke next Saturday night anyway, so why not have one now".
It's doubly frustrating as this is just about where I got to with my last two serious attempts at quitting. By doing cold turkey this time I thought I'd get over that hump because my PHYSICAL addiction sysptoms would have subsided by thie point (and that seems to be the case). Shows me how much of this addiction stuff is in the head as well as the chemistry side of things.
Thank you for your honesty. I am sorry you had a blip, the only good to come from it is, I and many others have heard your story you have told us how horrible it is to do it again, so we definitely won't try it.
Well done for being honest about Saturday it would have been quite easy to post nothing on here about that. Ok so you had a blip, 2 drags on a cig, but you didn't like it so that's positive. I'm sure anyone in the New Years Revolutions gang that came face to face with a cig left in the house may have experienced the same as you, temptation is very hard to fight at times. Remember you are in early weeks of the quit process.......
Good luck with next week and your lads night out. If i'm honest I went into the shop Friday to buy some cigs as I have had a death in the family so my first thought went to going back smoking, I didn't as I realised it wouldn't have made me feel better, but I understand how when you get the urge it's very difficult to fight it at times.
You are doing so so well, keep strong and focussed and continue where you left off before the blip week 3.
I was in kinda the same situation as you had a few to many and smoked one I didn't enjoy it then the week after I went out with the lads and smoked half a pack :(, I decided to start back at day one after that.
Right, I'll fess up right away. I had a moment of weakness on Saturday night.
It all started when I was doing some work on the new baby's room at home. I hadn't had the "decorating bag" out in a long while. At the bottom there was an old 10 pack of Marlboro Lights, with one broken cig in there. God knows how long it had been there...over a year probably. I thought "I'll throw that away when I go downstairs". I didn't.
Later that night the missus had gone round to a friends house for the night and I was left alone with a bottle of red and nothing on telly. I rapidly get bored and think back to the broken ciggy upstairs. Anyway, after about 60 minutes of wrestling with my concience, I made myself a roll up out of a year old cigarette and lit it.
The first puff tasted awful and made me retch a bit. The second made my tongue feel all wrong and made me feel proper sick. I didn't take a third puff and ran the whole contraption under the tap in the sink.
Now, I put it to you fellow quitters....shall I count myself back to day 1 (or day two now?) or do I let myself off this one? I was pretty drunk but got a really bad crave and caved in to it. If I'd done it out of curiosity or "just to see what would happen" I could let myself off, but in all honesty I did cave in because I'd had a craving.
Some advice would be good. Tell me what you think guys, I'm pretty disappointed with myself.
OMG! Back to day 1 for you!!!
Kidding. 2 puffs? You get more crap in you when you walk past a bunch of smokers outside an office building!
Treat it as a hiccup and dont let it ruin your record.
ps- try not to do it again though cos i wont be as forgiving :mad: Scared?
Hi Munter, I wouldn't worry about it, isn't it all part of the learning and conditioning? Now if you'd enjoyed the experience, it would be different. You've been honest and open, you haven't just carried on as if it didn't happen.
I would put it behind you as an experience. Don't waste time stressing or moping about it, get in a good, positive, strong frame of mind so you can be prepared for any urges that might creep up on you next weekend with the lads.
Be prepared, be strong, and most of all, have fun.
Thanks guys. I think I'll pu this down as a blip and keep going. We had a stressful day on Friday, when Mrs Munter had to go into hospital because of pains in the stomach (we're 29 weeks pregnant!). I think when she went round to her mates on Saturday to watch a chick flick it was a release of tension that everything was OK and I could finally relax. Whatever. I'm determined not to smoke next Saturday night now. No matter how many beers I have.
Wonderful advice once again, fellow quitters. I guess I just worked out what you long-timers mean about "respect your quit".
Glad Mrs Munter and baby Munter are all OK. Is this baby Munter 1, 2 or ? You should definitely stop fretting about wobbling off the path a little, and concentrate on the more important things going on in your life at the moment (like the decorating, just joking).
Good luck, stay strong and the best of health to you all.
Munter - keep an emergency pack of sausage rolls with you at all times, just to stave off any cravings.
It was unfortunate that lone rogue fag was lurking in the house.
Saying that I have a package of Marlboro Lights with 12 still in the packet in my handbag. They were my last pack of fags and I've still got them. Remember that feeling as a smoker when you run out of cigs? The panic? Well that's how I feel if I don't have cigarettes on me, even though I hardly notice they're there and I'm not going to smoke them.
I'm probably tempting fate - should chuck them, shouldn't I.
Don't go back to Day 1, it was a couple of puffs which tasted like cr*p. You're doing brilliantly and why would a non smoker want to smoke anyway
You know what Polster, I know exactly what you mean.
My drive to work is usually door to door, no stopping.The last two mornings I've been caught in traffic jams. My ultimate nightmare scenario used to be being caught in a traffic jam with no ciggies or baccy. I tended to stop at the petrol station next to work to buy my nicotine, you see. Once I was stuck for 4 hours on the motorway just by work with no fags left (smoked the last on on the way to work). That morning I think I went through every possible emotion. I was just about screaming when I finally got out of the car and RAN up to the counter to get some cigs. Just to be trapped with no access to nicotine for a morning was the worst thing I could possibly think of...
You need to feel them in your pocket (or see them in your handbag) or you're put into a state of panic. This is one of those intangible benefits you don't think about when you stop I guess.
As for the sausage rolls - I've managed to cut down to cocktail sized ones now. I'm most pleased with myself! Less pleasing was hitting 16 stone on the scales (I'm 6'3"-ish so I can hide it better - but that's still pretty porky!).
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21 days!!!and I have a confession
