Trust yourself

I have been reading some old threads and a common theme seems to come up amongst the people who come on and then leave after a relatively short time....

They look back at either their smoking lives with fondness or at their other failed attempts to "give up" with fear.

For the vast majority of us who ever start this journey, the decision to quit is one we make with our eyes open - a reasoned one. One that we make (often with a fag in our hand) that we do not want to smoke anymore. Often it takes us days or weeks to work up to day 1. We know it is going to be tough, but we do it anyway. Eyes open, mind focussed.

And then a few days or weeks later we start to remember with fondness the feeling of that one fag we enjoyed. It might have been five years ago, but we remember that one. Not the thousands we hated, just that one. And it makes us crazy until we feel like this is the hardest thing in the world and some go back. Again.

The trick is to trust yourself.

Don't go back. Look forwards to health and wealth.

It took days/weeks to work up to it - would we really have put so much effort into stopping if we didn't mean it?

I can understand going back after an unplanned or unwanted attempt - I had loads of those myself in between the serious ones. The moments that I thought "that's enough" and threw my fags in the bin..... only to buy more a couple of hours later!

So why did I go back after serious attempts?

I can only put it down to forgetfulness.

I forgot how badly I wanted to be free. I looked back and it looked better to me.

Not this time. This time I have made sure that freedom is etched on my brain.

I will have urges, I know this. I knew it when I started this quit. Those urges were very strong at first. Now they are few and far between but sometimes they still pull me up and make me think.

But I knew what I was letting myself in for when I made the reasoned decision to stop smoking.

How have I got to 7 months, especially when it got tough at times?

I trusted my own decision that I was better off in every way not smoking.

And how do I intend to stay free for the rest of my life?

By trusting myself enough to know I am right not to smoke.

25 Replies

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  • Very well put Stuart.

    It is only to be expected that there will be nostalgic feelings towards something that seemed to be enjoyable, we all get them. The important thing as as you say to trust your decision to regain control and remember the slavery of smoking.

    It is not always easy, over time you forget things like the feeling of panic when you realised that you didn't have enough fags to get you to work the next day or having to try to schedule your day to include smoke breaks.

    Occasionally the feeling that you can get away with one here and there creeps in and you remember that from the 1st few weeks/months of smoking when you could go days without a smoke. Of course that was before the addiction took hold, a fact that is easy to over look and just like an alcoholic having one will lead to more and you'll be back to square 1 in no time.

    The fact is we all made the decision to be a non smoker and to achieve that we need to be true to it, as you say trust our selves. The aim is not to smoke occasionally it is to not smoke at all, if you want to smoke occasionally you need to do so in the full knowledge that if you do you are going to tak back all the crap.

    Cheers

    Nic

  • Thank you Boys as always both posts are very good reads. xxxxxx

    Ps my heros even if i am old enough to be your mums. HEHE xxxxxxxxxxxxx

  • Hi Stuart and Nic :D :D

    Great posts from you both, with which I totally agree

    I think most of us have moments of nostalgia if we're honest about it

    I am now free and fully intend to remain so for the rest of my life, having got this far I have no need to ever smoke again

    I feel so much better in myself, have more money to spend, and also more energy that I would have to be a complete idiot to start again now

    Love

    Marg xxxxxxxxxx

  • A great post and I can relate to this although im only 7 weeks into my quit.

    I tll myself when thoughts of just one pop into my head or any thought to smoke at all that there isnt for me just one, for me i know that one puff would have me back on 20 a day and that is enough for me to stop the crave and get on with my new life as a non smoker.

    thanks for posts though they are great

    tracy21:)

  • Brilliant posts Stuart and Nic very inspirational.

    Jackie

  • Sorry to bump my own post back up to the top, but it seems that a few people need this one right now....

    10 months on, I still know I am right!

    Know thine enemy, people.... read, read, read! :D

  • Hi Stuart :D

    You're right a few people could certainly do with this one right now

    I'm sure it will help them a lot

    Love

    Mum xxxxxxx

  • aww stuart that was so inspirational, it is so truem made me kind of get goosebumps reading.. thanks for sharing x

    ps is marg ure mum

  • aww stuart that was so inspirational, it is so truem made me kind of get goosebumps reading.. thanks for sharing x

    ps is marg ure mum

    You're welcome - and yes, Marg is my Mum :)

    I'm very proud that she followed me here and quit herself - and even prouder of how much time she spends helping other people.

  • I can't believe that it was around 7 months ago I wrote this.

    After a rough spell last night I re-read it, and it makes even more sense than it did when I wrote it.

    So I thought I would bump it back to the top, in the hope that someone else finds it useful.

  • Hi Stuart :D

    I think a lot of people on here will find this thread a huge help I looked for it and couldn't find it although I knew it was around arghhhhhhhhhhhhh

    But hadn't realised it was that long ago that you wrote it

    Love

    Mum xxx

  • Thanks for bumping this back up :)

    I'm 3 weeks smoke free and felt your post relevant and inspirational to me.

    I think it would be helpful to most people at some time following given up smoking.

    Knowing what the pitfalls ahead of us may be helps to plan and be ready - forewarned/forearmed and all that.

    Thanks

  • You're both welcome.

    I loved, and still do, posting my thoughts on this forum - it helps me to get them straight in my own mind... sometimes it could (can!) get confusing with so many conflicting thoughts about smoking.

    So, to remain focussed I write things down. I'm very, very happy that a by-product of this is that some people find my posts useful.

  • I have read this post many times and always find it a big help.

    Thanks

  • Thank you Stuart for such a wonderful post. I will be quit 8 weeks this Thursday and these last couple of days have had a number of 'whisperings in my ear' about how lovely it would be to have a fag - just one though!!!

    Your post reminded me about trusting myself to continue to do the right thing and not to smoke. After all I made an educated choice when deciding to quit - I just reminded myself of the reasons for making that choice.

    Thank you so much.

    Soosy

  • I'm very, very happy that the post is still proving to be of help - and of course not forgetting Nic's excellent post in reply.

    I've been quit more than twice as long now as I was when I started this thread - 14 and a half months down the road now.

    I'm really glad that I came here and found a place to read other peoples experiences and also to write my own thoughts down and share them. Oddly, writing my thoughts down and then having people reply to say they understood was a huge help and still is today.

    Congratulations on your quits - keep them going, because it gets easier day by day to the point where you don't even think about it anymore, it's as natural as breathing the clean, crisp winter air.

  • I'm really glad that I came here and found a place to read other peoples experiences and also to write my own thoughts down and share them. Oddly, writing my thoughts down and then having people reply to say they understood was a huge help and still is today.

    oddly enough? I used to do that.

  • Please excuse me but I absolutely love the opening post, makes so much sense to me.

    I thought it really deserved being bumped :)

  • Molly I totally agree

    I have been thinking of the dreaded 1 fag, but this post really does bring it home,....

    New quitters this great post to read

  • I know Sian, I had it last week, I got through it though with the words of an established quitter, you just hang in there, we are all here to stop any just one more episodes!

    If not, Helen or Hazel or Carol or Dippy Egg or so so so many more will have something to say!

    Keep on keeping on come what may x

  • good call molly

    Perhaps we could have a section where we can request to nominate a particularly inspirational post - not for comment on - but so they dont get lost in the mists of time.?

  • Hi Sassy,

    I think that the point of stickies has come up many times on this forum. I'm not sure why they can't do it though, I've never actually read a post that gives the reason?

    It would be good though wouldn't it, to have a section where all the long term quitter posts that are so apt for newbies could be stored. I went looking for them because I couldn't register on the forum for 6 weeks or so.

    I still read them. Especially when I'm laid awake and can't flipping sleep!

    Anyway, back to work for me before they sack me!

    Can anyone recommend a substitute for matches to prop my eyes open with. I threw all mine out when I quit :D

  • There are plenty of people on here who are managing it every day so whether its difficult or not, it can be done.

    Come on here, read as much as you possibly can, posts like this one you've bumped are good. Talk to people who are going through the same, or are a little further along, grit your teeth and get through the first 3 days which can be a little bumpy. If you do all that I think you'll look at this quitting lark with different eyes.

    Good luck Artz, come on, you know you want to. It's not nearly as hard as you think it is and it's sooooo worth it.

    Molly x

  • My favourite one

  • Just been directed to this post by the OP and it's a fantastic read so bumping it in case anyone can take anything from it, I know I will xx

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