30 odd days

Hi everyone I hope you are all doing well , if you are your smoking or not .

My 1st month as a 'smoker that doesnt smoke' officially ended on the 2nd at 7am. It was all a bit of an anticlimax actually. Dont get me wrong its great to not smoke . Ive got an extra couple of hrs every day, I am wealthier , healthier , dont stink and all that.

The thing is that the initial joy that I got from realising that I dont have to smoke has gone. You know that euphoric feeling when youve quit for a few days and that realisation hits with a BANG.... that you dont have to smoke, and that it is going to be possible to quit and that by hell you will quit.....well that joy , that feeling of 'enlightenment' , for me,has gone.

I dont get any 'I need a smoke' cravings, no panic attacks , anxiety , depression or anything like that. But every few days I do find myself thinking how pleasant it would be to stop what I am doing ,make a coffee or pour a beer and light up a cigarette. I feel that I would enjoy that cigarette. Just the one , not a few but just the one.

I feel dissapointed because I know that I would not enjoy that smoke , that harsh burning in my throat, the taste, the dizziness the nausea that would follow. I think its the knowledge that I will never 'enjoy' a cigarette again.I think that I am missing my 'old friends' rather than actually needing them.

Does any of that make sense to anyone?

Either way I dont supose it really matters because weeks ago I decided that my quit was for real and that I would see it through.

A final thought is that perhaps I am getting bored with not smoking.Which to me suggests that not smoking has not yet become the 'norm' . Perhaps when it is the 'norm' all these feeling will go. I would like to think so.

Whatever , I am rambling on now for sure! I dont think I should have refilled that last glass of wine...:p Cheers to a 2nd month..

Goodnight all...

Andy

15 Replies

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  • Does that make any sense to us?? Well, hell yes...... I mean I used to smoke, we used to smoke and that is what we did..... all the time. And the knowing that there was always that.... smoking..... was comforting. But we all realized the negatives and so we quit.... and we are healthier, richer, and better smelling for it........ but there will be that grieving time. As long as you grief, continue to say good bye and not try to have a reunion. It was all a misconception/lie anyways..... a feeding of an addiction versus a true friendship....... we have a chance to live this life smoke free so lets not look back and think nostalgically of a friend who tried to kill us......

    What I am saying, Andy.... GREAT JOB on your first month smoke free.... keep it up.... be happy and proud :D:D

  • Hi Andy :D

    1 Whole month is great well done and what a wonderful post

    I understand what you mean about the eophoria, but the physical withdrawal has now gone and it is just the triggers you have to cope with as they come along and this will go on for a while yet

    As you face each one for the forst time since your quit. I had a fleeting one the other day as I went to do some weeding for the first time, but that's all it was and next day when I continued it was fine

    Just stay strong and remember those Fags weren't really your freinds at all

    Love

    Marg xxxxxxxxxxx

  • Cheers for the comments ,

    Bellablue youve hit the nail on the head. It would be strange if I did not miss the ciggies after smoking for 20 yrs...

    Marge your right..those ciggies were never my friends.

    Andy

  • Andy,

    I would love to stop, pour a coffee and have a smoke,

    I feel it many times in a day ... but it lasts only a second when I tell myself I've gone over a month without it ..... I don't and will not fail this ......

    My health is more important.....

    As Marg has said it's the trigers...and believe me your not the only one .... I have so many triggers in my day whilst driving my lorry, doing something, passing somewhere, pouring a cofee.... the list is massive lol it would need to be to be able to smoke 40+ a day

    Got to eliminate them one by one ......it takes time,

    I'm certainly aware that some of mine are going....

    Keep it up !!!

  • One month

    How good does that look ONE MONTH Well done Andy, yeah I fancy a cig this minute but know it will pass, and yes we have to think why we stopped in the first place...... Am nearly as One month, stopped on 9 March But have noticed it does get easier, although have to admit not had a drink since, that will defro be a trigger to test me:DKaz

  • I think you have to congratulate yourself. Each time you face that crave, it becomes weaker. The longer you go on, the more it becomes easier to face the crave. An ever increasing circle!

  • No. A Circle. A spiral would be more spirally with a begining and an end. A circle just stretches into a bigger circle. I am the winner.

  • Fiona sort him!!!!:eek:

  • Andy you have done brilliant X

  • Acchhh........Fiona and Bible .........yer toooo intel..inntelll, intelec........

    achhhh, yer jist toooo clever for us mere mortals. ;););)

  • Don't think I can. Trying to sort BB would be a bit like trying to run up a downtype esculator, whilst wearing a full size chicken suit with double sidded stickytape of the feet and balancing an encyclopedia on your head.....

  • Cheers for the replys:D

    In the meantime , Its all going swimingly.. I just stop and think about how I feel every now and again and try to work out why I feel what I feel.

    To that effect I was expecting a tougher time than I have so far experienced. its all been a little to easy. Perhaps I have just had the right attitude ....I dont know I really dont. I am thankful that i found this site and this forum where I can blurt out the rubbish thats in my head. It has certainly contributed to the ease of my quit.

    Andy

    Ripples .......my arse:p

  • your arse has ripples? ;)

  • Hi Andy

    Well done and a huge pat on the back for getting where you are and being honest about the feeling of euphoria not being there anymore.

    I feel the same, the first days and week mark were a huge feeling of achievement and now its a bit like hey yipee doo dah so what kind of thing, but we shouldn't fail to see that we are still at risk of caving in and so deserve credit for still resisting, even though we may not crave or want a fag, i dunno bout you, but the thought of having one creeps up at times and we are strong enough to push the feeling aside and make a decision to not light up. Not sure that makes sense either but i know what i mean.

    Well done to you and keep posting cos it's ncouragement for us..

  • Deedee,

    Youve summed up what I was feeling pretty well.. It is a ' ive quit so what' kind of feeling.. And it is the thought of having one that creeps up.. I dont need or want one but remember that I used to 'enjoy' one..

    Your right though

    'we are strong enough to push the feeling aside and make a decision to not light up'

    'but we shouldn't fail to see that we are still at risk of caving in and so deserve credit for still resisting' And this is the thing that I am forgetting .. It is an incredible acheivement that despite being possible for all smokers seems to be a very difficult thing for most.

    Andy

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