Your friends and your quit?

I was not sure where to post this so apology if not suited to this forum room.

I found some relationships with some of my friends who smoke are changing. They seem supportive etc, but I somehow now feel left out (i.e. they go off outside for one and even if I stand by them, I am still feeling as if I am left out) - I may be paranoid but I am sure a couple of them are resentful.

I never expected that me not smoking would impact my relationship with some very dear friends.

Do you have any similar experiences?

Long-term quitters – have you found some of your relationships with friends have changed as a result of you being a non smoker?

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7 Replies

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  • I have noticed that a couple of my mates are cracking jokes and one of them have even said it doesnt seem right me not smoking. Its things like this that show who your true mates are.

  • I haven't as yet but I'm going to be setting foot inside a pub for the first time since I quit this weekend and it will be interesting to know how people will react to me not smoking as some friends do and some don't. We shall see and I'll let you know when I come back off my hols.

  • I may be paranoid but I am sure a couple of them are resentful.

    It's all part of the herd mentality, safety in numbers, and you've reduced the head count by one. Also, they are probably jealous...I read that 70% of all smokers want to give up.

    (I also heard that 87% of statistics were made up on the spot :D)

  • Unfortunately this is a sad side-effect of curing the addiction.

    It's a fine line we tread between trying to get our friends to stop and them trying to persude us to start again.

    As smokers, we never liked it when people quit did we..?

    We hated the stop smoking adverts too.

    Didn't we all know we wanted to quit in secret but publicly claimed to enjoy smoking simply because it's embarassing to say you want to quit but then don't / can't..?

    I used to hate reading books and finding the famous smoking author had given up.

    Every famous smoker was an ally to be admired. When you found he or she had given up didn't you then work out how old they were and relate their smoking history to yours to justify how many years more you could smoke..?

    What a pathetic, horrible addiction we had. :mad:

  • hmmm - I guess i will have to acknowledge the fact that some may not like me as a non smoker anymore!

    I do not think I was ever resentful to some of my friends who quit as I smoked. I was jealous (especially when they made it sound sooooooooo easy) but do not think I took it personally out on them (but I will ask as i am curious!)

    x

  • Cat, I am going through the exact same thing..

    My best friend quit with me and my partner on 4th Feb and she lasted until Fri 8th Feb. I have seen her once since! We were supposed to go out the other weekend but she cancelled, she's been really "weird" with me!

    Don't get me wrong she has been very supportive and encouraging but doesn't seem to want to spend any tine with me. I got quite upset about this and yesterday I asked her what was going on and that I felt like she was avoiding spending time with me and that it was upsetting me.

    She said she didn't want to encourage me to smoke by smoking near me, but I wonder if it's because she feels like she's failed and doesn't want to be reminded of it..? I don't know, but I am a little worried that I may lose my best friend all becuase I stopped smoking and she didnt'!! What?!! Seems ridiculous doesn't it!

  • ive had the same, its ok if we go to their house , because they can smoke but we havent been for a drink in a pub or for a meal since i quit.

    now my hubbys starting champix , we will prob see them less.

    i do think they are jealous, after all, a high percentage of smokers want to quit!!

    but we did it !

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