I have been lurking on the forums for a few days now. I decided I would join the community!
Let me introduce myself. My name is Jon I am from a suburb of Kansas City, Kansas, USA. I am 35 Years old and I started smoking a week before I turned 14 years old. I started (stupidly) to peer pressure. I remember my friends had started smoking and got me to try one. I was embarrased at first because I did not know how to "inhale". In retrospect I feel like such an idiot because I remember smoking cigarette after cigarette to "learn" how to inhale without coughing, and once I was able to I was so proud of myself. I would like nothing more then to go back and smack myself in the head and ask myself why I was so stupid =P.
For my first 3 months I smoked I would say that I smoked about 2 packs of cigarettes a week because I didn't want my parents to find out. Well :rolleyes: it did not take long before my Parents figured out I was smoking and at that point I did not care (I was a rebellious teen) if they knew I smoked so I jumped up to about a pack a day habit. I have smoked for over 21 years with a mininum of a pack a day habit until about the last 15 years which usually consisted of carton a week.
I have actually had "several" quit attempts in my life. Each time varied in length. I have had 3 quits in the 30-64 day range between 1990 and 1999.
The last attempt I made to quit was back was Dec 31st/Jan 1st, 1999 at Midnight (New Years Resolution) My best friend and I had decided to quit together for a New Years Resolution. We both had smoked our "last cigarette" while watching the countdown to new years and had extinguished our "ceremonial" cigarette at exactly midnight in the ashtray together. To help our resolve we both pledged $500 to the other if either one of us cheated within the first 30 days of smoking to help us quit. My friend and I both lived and worked together so it was easy to "watchdog" and "encourage" each other.
It was very tough but we both had managed to make it 5 months and 16 days until one day at work (May 16th, 1999) we were having a horrible day at work. I thought I would just go down and have "one" cigarette to calm myself down. I went out to the smoking section at work and had asked a coworker if I could bum a smoke, but I had asked him to "please not tell my best friend because I did not want him to break down and smoke because I had". To this my coworker replied "That's funny, he was just down here an hour ago saying the same thing about you." We both had restarted smoking without each others knowledge on the exact same day. Once we both realized we had both "cheated" we both took up smoking full time again.
So here I am, over 8 years later trying to quit in 2007. I believe my mindset on this quit is different then those others because I am no longer the young man I once was. Before when I wanted to quit it was never for "health" reasons it was always because I just did not want to smell like smoke or have bad breath was my primary concern for quitting. However as I have aged I have gotten overweight (I need to lose about 30lbs), my energy levels have gone way down, and I am constantly depressed about my current "state" in life. So here I am, quitting smoking so that it will no longer "control" or "hinder" my life.
I look at it like this, I need my lungs to work out to lose the weight.... I need to lose the weight to gain the energy back..... I need my energy back to have a successful life in which I can accomplish my dreams and desires. All of this involves breaking my life long addiction to smoking.
I quit Sept 29th at 01:00. It is now October 8th at 03:40 so I am 2 hours and 40 minutes into my 10th day of not smoking. I have been really strong up until today. I about snapped 4 or 5 times and was about to jump in my car and buy cigarettes. I kept telling myself "wait until tomorrow and see how you feel" to talk myself out of it. However I am definately in a state of weakness still and I am turning to you guys for some encouragement.
Please help, I want to make it this time. I am sorry I wrote such a long post, however it is helping me through this moment of weakness to type it out.
Quit Date: Sept 29th 2007
Method: Cold Turkey