Day 79


I'm on Day 79 and haven't had internet for couple of days, so I thought I would report in.

Day 77

Got up at 7am to pick up my mum and went over to my dads to take him shopping. My dad has recently been diagnosed with lung and liver cancer. They project about 2 - 5 years if he takes care of himself however the way he is carrying on I reckon 6 months. Bearing in mind that I haven't seen him in a month there has been quite a dramatic decline in his health. I took him shopping while my mum gave his flat a going over while we were out. He hasn't got the energy to walk very far, so I had to push him around in a wheel chair with a trolley clipped to the front. He bought, 5 bottles of Vodka, 1 bottle of Scotch, 6 bottles of Cider and 6 bottles of Vermouth and still won't admit he has a drinking problem. I was getting quite a few strange looks, they must of thought we were having a party. I swear that he is smoking more than ever now aswell. The supermarket was a 20 minute drive away yet he asked me if he could have a cigarette in the car which I told him no.

If I ever needed an excuse to never smoke again, I only need to think of my dad. It is similar to the shocking images on Me and my mum were almost in tears on our way home. Here was a man who was a good 6' 5" maybe taller, booming deep voiced man mountain who I was petrified of as a boy is reduced to this skinny, hunched over feeble weak old man who lives in greasy smelling filthy shit hole of a flat. He is still the same narrow minded, arrogant, lazy, selfish person he was before. Please don't feel sorry for me, It will be a release when he finally goes.

My sister and her children came over for the rest of the weekend but I couldn't discuss it with her as she has enough to think about with her sons illness. We spent the rest of Saturday forgetting about all our troubles and having fun like a proper family.

I don't know what the next few months are gonna throw at us but I know that smoking isn't gonna make it any better. I'm stronger than that.

I have been quit for 2 Months, 2 Weeks, 2 Days, 8 hours, 34 minutes and 26 seconds (78 days). I have saved £144.96 by not smoking 1,175 cigarettes. I have saved 4 Days, 1 hour and 55 minutes of my life. My Quit Date: 01/07/2007 00:00

3 Replies

  • Hi Barney So sorry about your Dad. Only thing I can say is support your mum and the rest of your family. Hope YOur nephew Is doing ok. My thoughts are with you all Linda xxxx

  • Hello Boudee & Linda,

    Thanks for your kind words, like I said in the first post 'don't feel sorry for me' I just want to share my thoughts and hope that if people read it, they'll find it helps in those times of temptation. Fortunatley I have my health and my beautiful family, and this happening now will only make my willpower stronger.


  • Well I must say the shopping trip sounded like a scene out of some sitcom!! :D

    Must of been pretty surreal for you :eek:

    With a prognoses like that I am not surprised he carries on x x

    I was shocked when I saw the drinks cabinet in the Hospice but then it dawned on me what hospice means :rolleyes:

    So glad you spent the Saturday afternoon,

    together with your sister and family,

    enjoying your time together x x

    So happy to hear you focusing on the positive elements of your life x x

    Tis a long road ahead x x


    ~Buffy x x

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