Help with a gift...

[forthelonghaul]

Hello all!

I hope that all of you are doing well on your journey with ESRD. If you are having problems coping post or pre surgery, I think you will find some comforting words on this site. I know that I have!

NOW...I'm in need of some advice. My donor is getting married this month, and I need to get her a wedding gift. So I've decided to reach out to this HealthUnlocked community for some ideas. I felt that the transplant experience helps us understand the quality of selflessness. What donors do cannot be taken lightly.

It doesn't happen all of the time I am sure, but my donor and I have become instant friends since my transplant. Prior to the process I had never met or seen her. I first met her when she came for her first meeting with the transplant team.

So with that...would all of you help me with ideas for a wedding gift for her. I have thought of a couple of things, but I would like more ideas. I feel that your experiences with the transplant process give you a sense of appreciation that others not needing a transplant could not have. So whatta ya say!?

Thank you for your help. And if you ever want, or need to chat one on one, just reach out to me!

Hope to hear from y'all soon!

Scott

[AndrewT]

Dear Scott,

this may sound like a 'Cop Out' but You, really do know- this lovely Lady- best. You have Spoken, with her, probably Taken Her 'Out'- NOT Necessarily in that way, Socially I mean. No doubt in, at least Some of her Conversations, she MUST have said, something like "I REALLY Need a new 'Item' For the Kitchen/ Bathroom/ Garden/ Bedroom/ Car, failing this She must have Family/ Friends, or work Colleagues, who can 'Help' you- with this- Scott.

Does she have a Hobby/ Interest- maybe she 'Loves' Horses/ Soft Toys/ Collectables (500+ Knitting Needles, might Give It Away!) or Perhaps a Club, or Magazine, Subscription.,,,, Heck She Might even 'Take' The Readers Digest (if it's even still 'going'). Perhaps she Goes To The Gym and would, very much appreciate a Membership Renewal (which, depending on the Gym- and the Facilities- can be expensive.) Maybe even, some thing as 'Simple' a Money Towards A Holiday.

If, by now, you have already had a 'Light Bulb Moment', then great, if not Talk To Her Brother- or Sister.

Sorry that I can't be, of more, Specific Help but YOU, really ARE the 'Best' person to Ask.

AndrewT

[forthelonghaul in reply to AndrewT]

Hi AndrewT,

Thank you for responding. I apologize for the delayed response.

My donor lives in Alaska so we don't spend time together. We don't communicate on a frequent basis either, but do check in with each other a number of times a month. She stayed with us prior to, and following the surgery. So that was the time that we really connected.

The suggestions that you have given are wonderful! She does pretty well financially, so that is where the creativity had to come into play. After reading the responses to my cry for help, I came up with an idea. I have decided to give her and her fiancee pictures of themselves (and the dogs). I am going to have the pictures made by Fracture. I have used them before, and I really liked the results. They are both into photography, so I think that would add to the appreciation. Finding gifts "under pressure" is rough for me. I tend to be a "just because" gift giver; hence my love for Christmas 🙄...🙂.

Thanks again for responding, and for the ideas. I will post after the wedding and let all of you know how the gift went.

Until next time. I wish you well on your journey. See ya around on the forum!

Scott

[AndrewT in reply to forthelonghaul]

Dear Scott,

What a Wonderful idea, to which I have a Further suggestion- you can get Photographs Printed, on to Cushions, Bedcovers and so on. What a Beautiful Gift Set 'A Photo Duvet, with matching 'Photo' Pillows'😃.

I think that I might have 'Found' the answer......

AndrewT

[forthelonghaul in reply to AndrewT]

Hi AndrewT,

I LIKE that idea. I'm not sure if I have seen anything like that before, but Thank You for the suggestion! I just thought of several gifts for people I know!

See ya on the forum! 🙂

Scott

[Herkidney]

My living donor is my spouse, so his gift is that he gets a pass on giving me gifts for birthdays, etc. (haha). However, I did read an article where a kidney transplant recipient gave his female donor a pair of kidney shaped (or bean shaped) earrings made by Tiffany. I don’t know what your budget is, but Tiffany (I don’t work for the jeweler) has kidney/bean shaped necklaces/earrings/bracelets in silver and gold - so maybe you can find something at a somewhat reasonable price?

[forthelonghaul in reply to Herkidney]

Hi Herkidney,

Thank you for responding. I apologize for the delayed response.

I LOVE the gift that your spouse got!!!! As I was telling AndrewT, giving gifts under pressure is rough for me. I like giving them at times "just because". I did actually give her a charm with a small little kidney encapsulated in it for Christmas following the surgery. As I mentioned above, I have decided to give them a picture of themselves (and the dogs) from Fracture. It's a different gift, so I think they will enjoy it.

Thank you for your suggestions on the gift. They were nice and thoughtful. Jewelry is really a nice gift to give for something like this.

Take care of yourself, and I will see you around the forum!

Scott

[PostivelyJo]

A beautiful maturing olive tree …in a pot. Some that with love and nurturing will live for ages ?

[forthelonghaul in reply to PostivelyJo]

Hi Jjjjxxxxxxx,

Thank you for the response. I apologize for the delayed response.

That sounds like a good idea! My donor lives in Alaska, so I don't know how that would fair. Although I could research that.

As you will probably see I have decided to go with a picture of the two of them, and one of their dogs. I will (try) to keep the tree in mind as a future gift for them. I have planned on going to visit them later in the year. I think that would be cool showing up with a tree!

Thank you for the idea!

Take care! See ya around the forum!

Scott

[forthelonghaul in reply to PostivelyJo]

Hi PositivelyJo,

I JUST saw that I used the wrong name in my reply. I am SO sorry for that.

To keep things right, I just corrected my reply to you.

Take Care.

Scott

[PostivelyJo in reply to forthelonghaul]

no you made no mistake. I’ve just change my user name to something less random than the one I made in haste when joining at the beginning of this amazing journey we are all on.

Jo

[KathleenMA]

If she is registered for gifts maybe get her something small from there and then make a donation for a cause or charity that she is passionate about.

[Jayhawker in reply to KathleenMA]

I, too, thought about making a donation perhaps to provide financial support for another transplant recipient in her name. But I like the kidney shaped jewelry idea too. She could wear the jewelry on her wedding day if she wants.

Jayhaeker

[forthelonghaul in reply to Jayhawker]

Hi Jayhawker,

Sorry I missed your response. It was inline with KathleenMA's.

Thank you for the supporting suggestion. That sounds like a good idea to give support in her name. I think she would like that.

Thanks again!

Take Care. See ya around the forum!

Scott

[forthelonghaul in reply to KathleenMA]

Hi KathleenMA,

Thank you for responding. I apologize for my delayed response.

I don't think that she is registered for gifts. She never mentioned it. I am not sure which charities she is passionate about. We have talked about charitable work, but organizations never really came up. That is a conversation that I will have with her one day.

Thank you for the suggestion!

Take care, and I hope to see you around the forum!

Scott

[Hydrangea2023]

First thing that comes to mind learn her birthday, her birth sign which could possible provide you with many interesting interesting face about her birthsign peprsonality or things she likes. Secondly yes budget is key yet It's my thought the donor would understand that any gift you give her/him is coming from the heart not necessarily a big bank account. I asked my donor what she would like as I was going to give her a gift anyway. She answered a Tibetan singing bowl she could use everyday when trying to relax with a glass of wine. A case of wine is excellent too if she enjoys vino. Other things she mention was a painting reproduction of her favorite artist. .. Glglea SP an art reproduction is great and affordable. A spa day. A hammock for relaxing if she has a nice strong tree in her backyard.

. A class wheather is watercolor, pastels, cooking ect ect. These classes are enjoyable relaxing. Dance lessons where you meet new friends. A day trip to a destination of her choice. Tickets to a concert in her area.

A spa day. A day at a winery if she happens to live near by. A cooking class of her choice. The list is endless and yes, a gift certificate where she can purchase anything of her choice. IAmount is strictly up to you. What ever you can afford. These are all fun experience gifts she will remember. I had a friend who I met at the hospital kidney center in NYC. She also also wanted to give her donor a small gift. She had very little funds. Had lots of loss in her family so money was tight nonetheless she purchased a beautiful large outdoor hanging chimes & bird feeder for her donor. The donor was touched and loved the chimes. Hope this helps. Oh, YEs, maid service for a couple of months. What woman wouldn't want that? A beautiful note of thanks. Hope this helps.

[forthelonghaul in reply to Hydrangea2023]

Hi Hydrangea2023,

Thank you for responding. I also apologize for my delay in responding.

Thank you for gift suggestions! I gave her one gift for Christmas, and she mentioned to my wife that men aren't too good at giving gifts; I chuckled at that! The spa sounds like a nice idea. I'm not sure what they have up in Alaska, but I will have to check for later gift. I will also have to check into the Tibetan singing bowl. That sounds like something she might like.

Thank you for the suggestions, and sharing the story about your donor!

After reading the replies I decided on a having a picture made from Fracture. I will try to remember to let you know it went.

Thank you again. Take care, and hopefully I will see you around the forum!

Scott

[TaffyTwoshoes27]

I would look on kidney.org (National Kidney Foundation) or AKF.org and see if they have some beautiful (not so cheap) glass objects (vase, etc.) or paintings, maybe even an expensive piece of jewelry she will have forever and will cause conversations and stories about kidney donation for the whole world!!

Pay for all the wedding flowers (if affordable)?

Just some suggestions!

[forthelonghaul in reply to TaffyTwoshoes27]

Hi TaffyTwoshoes27,

I hope that things are going okay with you.

Thank you for the suggestion of the sites! I've actually ordered the wedding gift. I decided to get two photos printed on glass using Fracture.

I'm not a good gift giver while under pressure 🙂. I'm more of a "just because" gift giving person.

Her wedding is on the 24th, so I have one week to hear their response. I'm sure it will be positive I just hope they really enjoy it. They are both into photography, and that was one thing that helped me decide on the gift.

Thanks again for the suggestions! Take Care and Be Safe.

Scott

[TaffyTwoshoes27 in reply to forthelonghaul]

Sounds great! I'm sure she will always think of her wonderful gift to you when she sees your gift to her! I hope she will have a happy marriage.

[Heldien]

A personalized bracelet or necklace from soufeel.com/ could be a great idea. They let you add charms, engrave messages, or even include a photo, making it really meaningful. I got one for my friend with an engraving, and she loved it. It's a nice way to mark such a big moment with something unique. You can find different styles depending on their taste, and it feels really personal.