Kidney transplant caregiver

[Dogdaysummer]

Kidney transplant caregiver

[Alfredmynewkidney]

Have you talked to her transplant center? I also was told very minimal alcohol. It effects the level of some of the medications. I had a transplant 16 months ago. I am 54. I work full time and leave the house often. I do wear a mask wherever I go. Unless it is outside and not crowded. Her life is not over. It sounds like she is depressed and needs a counselor. Please talk to her transplant center. Where did she get her transplant? There might be support groups too. Sorry she is unhappy and taking it out on you. My dad has had 2 transplants and is 74. He is careful but goes out and wears a mask. He has not had a drop of alcohol since his first transplant in 1995. Feel free to message back. I live in Florida.

[Gardner-NY]

Hello Dogdaysummer, I can relate 'sorta' to what you are trying to cope with. I am the caregiver (when necessary) to my husband of 44 yrs who had a kidney transplant at age 59. Transplant was almost 3 yrs ago and the first 13 months after transplant were very very challenging with assorted serious problems. He retired prior to transplant due to declining kidney health and never was on dialysis. I work full time at a college. We have no family nor live near family. I agree with Alfredmynewkidney wrote I'd call the transplant center about your wife's behavior immediately. Drinking the alcohol all the time is a sign for help is needed and it affects the variety of medications she's on for life (as you know). I strongly urge you to see a counselor. It is the only thing that has kept me sane due to all the added responsibilities I am doing while working full time. The biggest challenge for my spouse is the past 18 months his blood chemistry is finally very good, but he still has the chronic fatigue and body tremors 24/7 from tacrolimus & inherited issue that his mom had too. My spouse cannot do 90% of the activities he once had done. We were a very active couple and now he just feels lousey everyday with the fatigue and tremors. His doctors know all about this and due to his blood chemistry finally getting normal after 13 months of problems, they don't want to do anything more right now. My spouse can drive and care for himself, but we are both still angry that the donated organ did not give him a better life than how he felt before the surgery happened (he felt better). Your wife sounds worse off to me, so it sounds like depression to me. I am coping with it myself too on some level and seeing a counselor is helping me. I sincerely hope you write us more. I wish you all the best. PS: My spouse already went through 9 months chemo at age 30, and this transplant makes that experience seem like a picnic.

[LisaSnow]

I am so sorry about your struggle as a caregiver and your wife's new mood symptoms. May I suggest that you explain all these changes in her to her transplant team and ask specifically for access to mental health care? Transplant associated adjustments especially during the pandemic can be very difficult. Fortunately mental health professionals working for transplant centers are trained in understanding what patients can suffer from, and have effective treatments available to help patients. Please let her care team know ASAP and continue is to communicate with them. Once she feels better, you will feel better too. In the meantime, take good care of yourself too!

[desperateboy]

It seems , she's like me. Get used to it .I can't accept transplantation too. Some people can't get it over. I am tired of living in this situation, living with somebody's kidney is really bad. Give her time.She will be tired of crying too and accustomed to it but won't be happy. I think, my world is over too. When you think that way, you start to acquire bad habits but I don't regret . Living with this illness is same to me like death.

[Redbone55 in reply to desperateboy]

Wow!! I am sorry that you are having such a hard time with dealing with transplantation but for me it is definitely a blessing and anyone that is lucky enough to get a Transplant should feel the same way. But that is just my opinion and I know everyone has one. Please find the strength and God each and every day and there is definitely power in prayer I know that it is a big adjustment as it is for me as well but nonetheless I am still grateful to my new kidney. Please try to find someone that you can talk to on a daily basis that can support you through your journey!! Please be safe and healthy 😊