I'm looking for help with dating/ relationships. Since mine I have had a hard time. Men seem to steer away once I mention that I have had one. I'm hoping being here will help me find ppl who are in the same boat, or would like to find a potential companion. I'm open for anything. (Except just physical attachment.) Is it just me?
Dating and relationships. : I'm looking... - Kidney Transplant
Dating and relationships.
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HotPocket0131
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I look at this way, if any man is not interested because I have had a kidney transplant then I am too good for them and they don’t deserve me. If it’s just a casual date I wouldn’t mention it. You may not want a second date. Just be patient. I joined a meetup group and I have not met anyone I would want to seriously date, but hanging out gets me out with a group.
Even though yours is a general inquiry, this 65 year old guy ( married in 1984 after 6 years of cohabitation with the same woman ), has to admit he got a real kick out of your post. Assuming that is your photograph, you have no worries in the looks department. Believe me when I say, it ain't you!
The thing is, individual people can be nice, thoughtful, loving, etc. People as a generality , however, are dumb, mean as hell, and in it for what they can get.
Give it time is the last thing you want to hear, but give it time. Your story, like all of ours, is no doubt complicated by dealing with the renal issues, a real pain in the life department.
Chill, get your head straight, if needs be, and cultivate only positive people. I mean, it was only your kidneys; if you had a history of mayhem and utter madness, that might have been a different story. And if anyone has an issue with transplant itself, the hell with them; you are infinitely better off without them.
Concentrate on, and be especially nice to yourself. You've been through a fandango with the illness, transplant, et al, which will tend to make anyone more than a little introspective and guarded....... you gotta cut yourself some slack. You sound like a real nice gal, and good luck,,,,,I'm sure you'll find it. Tom
I am also kind of frustrated that there is no site or a any organization for transplant patients to date and find a soul make. I have tried regular dating sites but I hesitate to tell people that got a transplant. Can we make a dating group from this site, what do people think. Please share.
Hmmmm that's interesting i have a kidney transplant and I never had a problem with dating because of my kidney transplant first time I hear this they actually admire me and say that I'm strong may the guys ur looking for dont understand or honestly sorry for my language are plain assholes anywayz good luck ..🙃😉
Hi HotPocket0131, I have not had that type of problem. I believe if any men do not like you just because you had a transplant, it is their Loss. I would not waste time worrying about it. Focus on taking care of you, and your life; that special person will see the blessing you our. Take care.
I feel the same way. Too bad there are not any "kidney" friendly dating sites. As soon as they hear I had a transplant, they shy away, or think I am weak.
Hi I'm Dave i have a similar situation, When I first got diagnosed 10 years ago I was in a relationship Which ended Then I moved to a different province and lived with my sister. I did eight years on dialysis and now I’m almost 2 years post kidney transplant during this time I haven’t met very many people and all my friends are far away. Over the years I became more familiar with the Internet and now I find I have many friends on there.However it’s not the same as a relationship in real life I hope you find what you’re looking for🌹
I was already in a relationship 7 1/2 yrs when I got my transplant 4 1/2 yrs ago. We've nowbeen together 12 plus yrs.
He was great at helping me while on dialysis & I was working full-time too. He'd have dinner ready for us after I got home after dialysis 3 days a week & almost all days during the week. I'd try to cook on the weekends.
He was especially awesome post transplant.
He would even stand outside of the shower & literally squeeze shampoo onto my hands. And he'd also squeeze body wash onto my washcloth too.
If you can't find a guy that wants you because you've had a transplant, he doesn't deserve you
Maybe you shouldn't tell them about your transplant until you know you like each other.
People can be rude, skeptical & scared when they hear about major health issues.
Don't feel like you have to tell them your whole life story in the 1st couple of dates.
Take your time to find Mr. Right.
Best of luck 😊
Stephanie904, the person you are in a relationship with sounds like a wonderful person.
My husband married me in 1968, knowing I had kidney disease. I didn’t need dialysis until 1991, had a transplant in 1993 that didn’ work and then another one in 1994 that still works.
Hot Pocket 0131, I hope you find someone as wonderful as my husband.
Relationships are complicated in the first place and then add a transplant on top of it and it can seem impossible. You look beautiful! I didn't have a problem with dating but times and meds were different back then. Many men are pretty impressed when I tell them about my transplant. I guess i am confused. What are your concerns specifically?
Hello HotPocket0131, Like the pic. You look beautiful. If the men you are meeting have a negative reaction to a kidney transplant you are better off without them. If they react inappropriately to that information, how on earth would they be in a challenging situation. Look for someone who will love you unconditionally not matter what.
Hello, I am Greg's wife. We got married two years ago. For both of us it is our second marriage. He told me about dialysis and needing a kidney transplant from the beginning. He had just started dialysis. So it was new for both of us. I fell in love with his heart, not his kidney function. He was worried it might scare me away. I told him no one is perfect. If I wanted a "perfect man" I would have joined that dating site. Guess what? It doesn't exist. I am not perfect either so I actually wanted to be with him during this time. It's less than 3% of his whole life affected by this. This too shall pass. You have a long life ahead of you and a healthy happy marriage or relationship can only help fight off disease and illness. It's proven. Be yourself and every little thing's gonna be alright. Don't worry 'bout a thing. Prayers to you for the love of your life 2020. This is the year for you!
I have had a tough time dating post and ever prior to my renal transplant. Before my transplant happened, and at the point when I looked weak physically (definitely not mentally), I was easily judged on how I looked, how I used to walk (I have had a history of Arthritis as well).
And now post Transplant(Tx year : 2018), when I have healed completely from Arthritis as well, I am still judged on my life expectancy, childbirth and other complications, if they may occur in future.
So, I would say, if men tend to judge you based on past or your transplant, believe me, they ain't worth your time, not even a minute of your life. - I tend to be too strict on this.
And talking about the questions posed to us, the "Transplant Warriors" regarding lifespan, I say nobody, no-body on this planet can answer this for themselves. - On a lighter note, Corona is out there proving the same - Can one's longitivtiy be guessed beforehand ??
So here's the tip : Meet as many people as you can, be open about your transplant - let people know you are a warrior, and say a goodbye to people judging you.
There are good and loving people out there, it would just take sometime and patience to find them.
PS : It is not easy to understand or Live with a Warrior and not many people know how to love a warrior !
Hello I have been lucky enough to have received first successful double transplant when women hear about that, am given a very wide berth. I would date you tomorrow.😍
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