Dating and kissing for young adults with kidney transplant

[vision22]

Please answer only if you have gone through the same situation.

How do you do to avoid rejection when meeting a potential romantic partner?

I wear a mask in closed public places. All women I met when they know that I have a kidney transplant start to keep distance and do not give me a chance to even developing a friendship. It is very frustrating.

Recently had several dates with a girl, no kissing yet because was afraid of infections. She was very uncomfortable when I asked her to take a test for BK, CMV and mono. She started to excuse meeting again and "ghosted" me. I feel bad and hopeless.

After a tough and bumpy road with my new kidney (Feb 2022), deceased donor CMV+, I have started to try a more "normal" social life for a 26 year old like myself, but would like to know how other young adults did to face dating and kissing (mouth) with new people?

[wheezoids21]

Hi and I am so sorry about your experiences with dating. I like to think that when the right person comes along this wont be an issue. Natures way of cleaning house! I am due for a cmv+ transplant so am also interested in what others reply. We cant live in a bubble, yet still need to be cautious.

Is it likely that the cmv from the donor will be passed to you, or do you take medication to suppress it? X

[vision22 in reply to wheezoids21]

Post transplant I had 6 weeks of Ceftazidime every 8 hours through a jugular catheter. CMV does not show in tests until now. Although the combination of meds and antibiotics caused severe neutropenia.

[vision22 in reply to vision22]

Sorry , had Ceftazidime for a serious pseudomona infection. Post transplant had 8 weeks of valcyte for CMV, it was stopped due to caused leukopenia.

[Herkidney]

Hello. I know that you said you only want responses from people who have been in a similar situation, but please allow me to share a friend’s story. My friend received his first kidney transplant when he was 19 years old. He is now in his early sixties and has been married to a wonderful woman for 40 years! They have 5 children and have a lovely life together. He met his wife when he was in his early 20s. Love happens when it happens. When the right person enters your life, your concerns resolve themselves.

As for me, I met my spouse when I was 21 years old before I knew that I had any kidney issues. 27 years later, he donated a kidney to me. Who would have thought …

Be patient and take care of yourself. Best wishes!

[vision22 in reply to Herkidney]

Thanks.

[Ahmad_92]

Hi, i am in same situation,I got married year after kidney transplant, engaged 6 months after, i was hanging out with face mask in first 3 months, afterp that i tried to avoide crowded area and try to be in opepn air places. You need to be cautious for sure but also need to pay attention to your life.

My work requested me to travel 4 months after transplant and i did, do not be very cautious to level where you end up depressed and feeling disable to live like normal

[vision22 in reply to Ahmad_92]

thanks

[ChristopherW]

I was transplanted at 22 years old and just acted like any other normal early 20s. Just go for it, enjoy life and stop worrying.

I did, and 42 years later never regretted a moment!

[vision22 in reply to ChristopherW]

Thanks

[olgaingram in reply to ChristopherW]

😀Nice to hear! Did you wear a mask back in those times? It seems that today we all are paying much more attention to social contact because of recent COVID. For some reason I think that some 20-30-40 years ago even transplanted patients didn't wear masks or were afraid of contacts as much as a regular person today)).

[ChristopherW in reply to olgaingram]

Absolutely, i did not wear a mask!

That idea only came in with Covid.

Theses days i carry a mask with me but i very rarely use it.

I’m in London and getting on a tube train in rush hour can be “a tin of sardines” moment. That is the only time i use it.

[ChristopherW in reply to olgaingram]

And oh yes! I paid a lot of attention to social contact back then 🤣

[olgaingram in reply to ChristopherW]

👍😍 Nice! And how fast did you start practicing "very close social contacts" after the transplantation?

[ChristopherW in reply to olgaingram]

As soon as someone would let me 🤣