Dialysis or Transplant?: I am in my early... - Kidney Transplant

Kidney Transplant

3,684 members2,116 posts

Dialysis or Transplant?

curiousmind2019 profile image
18 Replies

I am in my early 40s and recently started dialysis (PD). Been trying to get potential donors and my parents volunteered to be evaluated as donors. My parents are 70 years old. It turns out my dad got through all the tests and have been approved as a “backup donor”. We are not direct match and would need to go through exchange program. In addition, my rejection rate is quite high (93%).

Given my dad’s age, I don’t think he should donate and participate in the exchange program. Is it better for me to keep on dialysis and wait for deceased donor?

Written by
curiousmind2019 profile image
curiousmind2019
To view profiles and participate in discussions please or .
Read more about...
18 Replies
Dara3351 profile image
Dara3351

I was lucky as I knew I did not want dialysis. I had my transplant 5 months ago! I received a kidney from a 20 year old! Hang in there! It will happen! I said a lot of prayers! I went on a plant based diet which I know helped! No dairy or meat! I also worked with a dietician. I was on the list for 2 years! Very lucky! I wish you the best!

curiousmind2019 profile image
curiousmind2019 in reply toDara3351

Congrats on getting a kidney!

Transplant314 profile image
Transplant314 in reply tocuriousmind2019

Utilize social media put the word out to your network asking them to spread the word to their network and so on. I did not ask specifically for a kidney but to spread the word. My wife had a much bigger social network and was great at putting the word out. Tell people about yourself. I created an ad with a dog we recently adopted which said “ My owner saved me please save him”. I thought it would take years to find a donor. A number of people told us they were tested but were disqualified for different health reasons. I was extremely lucky. After six months someone at my synagogue volunteered and was a match. Do not give up a donor will come when you least expect it.

MomofRecipient profile image
MomofRecipient

My 39-year-old son received his kidney from my 55-year-old best friend She was a good match. I am 62. I didn't match but tested to go into the pairing exchange program and was told by the Mayo Clinic and Avera Transplant that age mattered less than kidney function and overall health. A center WILL NOT pass a person for transplant if it will risk or impair their life. As a parent you want to help your child, no matter what the age, have a happier, healthier life. Dialysis is difficult on your body. Get a transplant while you are still healthy enough to get it. Both my son and friend are doing wonderfully! I hope you get your kidney soon!

239227 profile image
239227 in reply toMomofRecipient

This is wonderful!

WYOAnne profile image
WYOAnneNKF Ambassador

That's all kind of up to you and how long the wait is for a deceased donor. If you are in the Midwest section of the US it seems that the wait list is shorter than in other parts of the country. I t all depends on your blood type and the 6 tissue markers

I had my transplant in 1999, so there was no social media....but I told neighbors, relatives, friends, people at work, my husband's work, clubs I belonged to, and church/synagogue. I had a cousin that was going to be my donor, as well as my brother. Both were ruled out early due to both found to have high BP. 2 friends at church were tested and did not match but 1 went on to be a living donor for someone she did not know. A friend of mine was going to start the process and I got called for a deceased donor transplant in the meantime. My donor was a 16 year old that was killed in an auto accident. He was a 4/6 match. I never had a rejection episode and because of the good match was able to take a lower dose of the immunosuppressant drugs I have to take. In 1999 my wait for a transplant was 14 months.

I know someone that actually put a sign up in their yard with their blood type and his need for a transplant. Someone else actually had a t-shirt printed with their need for a transplant/ blood type, etc. and wore it on a family trip to Disney. Both got there living donor.

So, in many respects, you have to think outside the box.

A kidney transplant is one of the greatest GIFTS OF LIFE!

Keep us posted with your search for a donor.

Stexx profile image
Stexx

Hi I’m in my 50’s and received a kidney direct from my Dad last November and he’s in his 70’s. We were both quite physically fit, but both are currently doing well. Frankly Dad did initially feel quite rotten, and lost a stone on weight, but after a month he was fine and doing really well. Now he’s saying it’s the best thing he’s done, and would recommend donating to anyone. We did consider the exchange scheme here in the UK but with a 50% match it wasn’t really necessary. It’s likely he will regain some of the kidney function (eGFR) he initially lost, but my prospects are far better. My eGFR went down to 10, but is now averaging 45. Transplant is the best option overall as pretty much normal lifestyle can be resumed.

239227 profile image
239227 in reply toStexx

Amazing! Keep well

lkhenderson profile image
lkhenderson

I am approaching my 1 year anniversary with my new kidney! Transplant all the way. If you have been approved to receive and your dad has been approved to donate (trust the approval process) and get on the swap program. My husband gave for me through a swap and together 3 donors gave to 3 recipients. We are all doing great and living our best lives. Don't let dialysis be your life and waiting is years in the making, on average. God Bless, lean in to it and go for it!

239227 profile image
239227 in reply tolkhenderson

This is wonderful!

lkhenderson profile image
lkhenderson

Also, not sure what you mean by "rejection rate" but I was extremely difficult to match due to antibodies and even at that we were placed in a swap and transplanted 8 months after my husband was approved to donate. I was almost 52 when I got my kidney.

Azulwolf profile image
Azulwolf

Don't let this opportunity pass you by. Trust the process. Depending on where you live the wait for a donor can be quite long. I'm in California and the wait for my blood type and probably like yourself have high antibody count ( which made my donor pool even smaller) was 5 to 10 years. My wait this time was 5 years, thank God. However their were people in my unit who have been waiting 9, 10 years. Wishing you well and praying surgery goes well for both you and your father. Please keep us updated.

Bsasup profile image
Bsasup

I’m 37 had my kidney transplant from my mom who is 70. I’m doing better kidney is working but it’s no easy task. My mom is recovering and doing better I always knew she would. It’s your call in the end . My mom was always strong talk your parents seriously about it, was not an easy conversation for us but we decided to go through. The risks were high but it was all worth it in the end. I wish you the best of luck

Bsasup profile image
Bsasup in reply toBsasup

Also banner medical in Az Tucson has a great program wait list is 18 months. Was my back option

curiousmind2019 profile image
curiousmind2019 in reply toBsasup

HI Bsasup,

Glad to know that it worked out for you and your mom!

239227 profile image
239227 in reply toBsasup

So happy for you

mingmiley profile image
mingmiley

In Seattle I waited 2 and half year to get the first call, time can go by quickly, just when you are ready the kidney will come. Don't rush. " In all your ways acknowledge Him, He will direct your path." ( Proverb 3:6) or " In all your ways acknowledge Him, He will make your paths straight."

ShyeLoverDoctor profile image
ShyeLoverDoctor

A transplant center will only approve a kidney donor if they are healthy, generally GFR 85 and up is a very hard line. The donor loses 25% to 35% of their function, is why. A transplant center is not going to procure a kidney from someone who will then not have enough function and end up on dialysis. It would be totally unethical. Their testing is rigorous.

I know someone at my dialysis center whose daughter offered to give him her kidney and he said no. He didn’t want any risk at all to come to her. He was on the cadaver list. Now his veins are all messed up and he cannot get a transplant at al.

I had two living donors tested, one was GFR 80 and one was GFR 83. Ages 60 and 59. The center rejected them, saying it would not leave them with enough function.

Living donor kindeys generally last 15 to 20 years. Deceased donor kidneys last 10 years on average. Living donor kidneys work better - they were never deprived of oxygen for very long.

Should a living donor’s remaining kidney fail, they are given priority for transplant.

In addition to those two donors fail, I had one donor quit the testing process.

I tried hard to get a living donor, I gave a speech, put an ad in a newsletter. Begged everyone whose email address was in my address book, twice. Talked about needing a kidney to people I met - talk about a way to get people to not like you Put bookmarks with my story and photo in books I had in my Little Free Library. Posted on facebook.

Hoping for that special person to “come out of the woodwork.” Guess what - it makes a nice story on the news, but reality is, it does not happen that often.

After being on dialysis for 11 months and 3 weeks, when the Mayo Clnic called with a deceased donor kidney offer, I jumped at it. I was not waiting to find a living donor. I had given it my all.

Not what you're looking for?

You may also like...

Dialysis

I was told yesterday that I need to prepare for dialysis. My doctor of 5 years passed away last...
LBatl profile image

First Time Kindey Transplant

Hello, This journey of mine is new to me however the disease itself is not. I was diagnosed with...
LillyBear09 profile image

Upcoming transplant

Good day all, I finally have my transplant date..july 20. I am interested in learning from...

Transplant

My husband is currently on dialysis for the last two years. He received an offer for a living donor...
239227 profile image

Handling life after the transplant

So I have a living donor but she wasnt the best match. She still decided to donate so I am in the...
Wishkeeper profile image

Moderation team

See all
JessicaJ_NKF profile image
JessicaJ_NKFAdministrator

Content on HealthUnlocked does not replace the relationship between you and doctors or other healthcare professionals nor the advice you receive from them.

Never delay seeking advice or dialling emergency services because of something that you have read on HealthUnlocked.