How Do I Handle My Severe Stress?

[Darlenia]

I'm new here. My husband has diabetes and kidney disease with projected dialysis beginning in 2 to 4 years. He's been on a low carb diet, lost a lot of weight, reduced his insulin significantly, when suddenly, almost overnight, his creatinine levels went bad. Now his blood pressure is very high (200/100 type thing) and we're fighting to bring it down. The problem is that I can't cope! I'm a year younger and should be able to get a grip. He simply does his work. But I cry, I'm anxious, I'm depressed. I'm jittery. Can't sleep. I can hardly function. I'm tempted to run off and get anti-anxiety meds for myself. I feel like I'm going to lose him at any time and I'm panicked. In some ways, I'd rather die than him. How do I round up on myself? Will things settle down? Is there a decent life ahead? Help!

[KidneyCoach NKF Ambassador]

Dialysis is not the end of life, just a different life. I would suggest finding a counselor or therapist. They should be able to offer coping mechanisms for your anxiety and stress

Meanwhile educating yourself could possibly relieve some of your stress. Try kidneyschool.org

Blessings

[Darlenia in reply to KidneyCoach]

Thanks! I'm definitely going to find a counselor or therapist. I'm so done with dealing with "out of control" feelings! And I didn't know about kidneyschool.org. Going to look that up pronto! Thanks again!

[LutherPDX]

There no shame in taking medications for anxiety, especially severe as you say. Contact your MD for more info.

p.S.as for the high creatinine - I would guess it was because of thee high protein diet.

[Darlenia in reply to LutherPDX]

Thank you! I'm going to chat with my doctor. And hope to switch my husband to a more plant based diet. Hope he cooperates.

[prathamupadhyay]

Yes, you can say that your life is not decent life from now and accept the fact that you & your husband have to deal with it anyhow by being happy or neutral. Its your choice now. Dialysis is a part of your life now. Dialysis is must for survival, think about all patients who are on dialysis. It is tough but you have to manage anyhow for your husband and family.

You have to think as God's grant, you have to accept it.

[Darlenia in reply to prathamupadhyay]

Yes, it's all about choices and acceptance. And I'm going to work on embracing dialysis instead of viewing it as an ogre or omen. I need to stop looking too far ahead, too.

[Hidden]

I feel for you and have gone through many of the feelings you have. My husband who has been on dialysis for a couple of years has run through months of illness and several months of reprieve with "wellness" and back to months of illnesses. He has not always been compliant and followed the program. It took me awhile to finally start counseling, but I did. I should have started much earlier. I also got a fitness trainer (something for me)so I wasn't just focusing on my husband and his condition. We found an excellent kidney doctor and he has made a difference in my husband's care.

You didn't say what your husband's CrCl is...my husband's was 2.1 for years, then it started going up in the course of less than 6 months. Dialysis isn't fun but it is life giving when the time comes.

My prayers to you

[Darlenia in reply to Hidden]

Appreciate your kindness. You expressed well what I'm now experiencing - the yo-yo of a decent report, then a bad finding, and over again with generally downward trajectory. When he receives a negative report, I go crazy. I'm better today after finally getting decent sleep...but I can't continue to bounce back and forth. (Like your husband, my hubby's CrCl was around 2 for a long time, then dramatically shot up to 3.8+. And he also doesn't always follow directions.) I'm now inspired to go to my personal doctor and get advice - counseling and possibly meds for the very low points when I can't sleep, get jittery, etc. (Hubby simply shakes his head.) And I also see a big need, per your advice, to seek activities that focus exclusively on me. I feel a lot less alone with your voice, among others, on this forum. Thanks so very much! Blessings!

[yrufatt]

Try apple cider vinegar mixed with water. Apple cider vinegar has a lot of helpful properties. The low carb diet might not be working for him. Some people it doesn't work for. Try watching..Thomas DeLauer videos. They could help. Don't give up...I had a kidney for 25 years and then lost it. Didn't realized how good I had it til it was gone.

[Darlenia]

Thank you much. And I'm sad to hear you've lost your kidney. Life can be harsh on us but, even as kidneys fail, science marches on. I'm praying we will all be benefit from improvements in the near future. I will definitely check out your video tonight. It's definitely worthwhile looking at dietary changes for not only my husband, but also for me. (I will be talking to my personal physician soon, too.) We have to love ourselves, take care of ourselves, and stay hopeful. God bless.

[82mf]

Hi Darlenia,

I am a PD patient. We began to have a monthly social group meeting at our dialysis clinic that is open for patients, caregivers and those who are overwhelmed, as you are. We have to be here for each other. Great results especially with and for our caregivers, who are sometimes hopelessly and what may seem to be helplessly witnessing their loved one suffer or struggle. Seek help because it is out here.

My best analogy is that this is a rollercoaster ride through life. Hang on! I have been blessed with my kidney failure because God has revealed my purpose here on Earth and that is to help others by executing patient-driven innovation in PD Home Therapy but that's a different subject. I pray that He gives you that strength as well! Feel free to reach out!

[Darlenia in reply to 82mf]

Thank you for your wonderful advice. It's indeed a roller coaster. I will be checking our local clinic to see if they also have such a group as well as reaching out to our higher power. Thanks again for all the supportive pointers!