Missing dialysis app. Near death.

[Honeybadger01]

First off I have read from other posts that dying from kidney failure is painful. Well I was almost dead. I did have some body pain. It was not horrible. I had a siezure not fun. I however did not even know. I was dialized saving my life. There was no horrible awlful occurrence at all. Your brain or mine at lest just said goodbye. I was just gone. Not saying we would all experience this the same. I am sure this is not the case. I do not think this is a solution. Mine was being mad and tired of the pain. I did not set out to commit suicide. I never wanted that. I just got arrogant and stubborn. So anyone thinking about this. Please consider the amount of time you spend on those machines to the amount of time it allows you to be here enjoying your family. So many new things are happening. 3D printer kidney's! Implanted dializers. Just so many options around the corner. Hang in there. There is always someone who loves you. God.

[Charlene_Coxhead]

I'm really disturbed by this post are you ok? Did know one explain to you that dialysis was keeping you alive and if you stopped your body would fill with toxins and die. I find that very upsetting that no one explained this as you probably wouldnt have been so relaxed about not going to your sessions.

I hope you are back on track now and that missing dialysis hasn't caused any further health complications

Please reach out to people if you feel like this again. Dialysis is hard but as you said it's a small price to pay to being alive, and medical science is always progressing. You look young from your pic so hang on it there.

Not sure what county you live in, but are you on the transplant list or have a potential live donor? Do you have fam8ly or friends to talk too?

Is it the going to hospital to do dialysis you have as wondered if home dialysis might work better. Maybe PD or even HD. I hope your unit has given you a counsellor and have some emotional support.

There's always someone here to help.

Charlene x

[Honeybadger01 in reply to Charlene_Coxhead]

Thank you for the support Charlene. I did know the consequences. I probably need to add a little more info on why I was an idiot. I was on peritoneal. I had some complications ended up in the hospital. I spent at one point while in there the worst 2 hours of my life. They thought they had fixed things. They tried a fill and it wouldn't drain. Caused most intense pain. I had 4 babies no drugs. Babies were easy! Lol . I then had a bowl rupture. The surgeon told my family to be prepared I probably would not make it. After a 2 week coma I fooled them all. 3 months in hospital. Uck. Then my gallbladder went. More surgery. I had pulmonary embolism. My mother passed durning all this. I was taking care of my father. He passed a year later. I am getting a divorce. This all has happened in two years. I think I just got twisted up I tried for normal. Well what was my normal. I can't do home hemo I do not have partner to help. Transplant I am not willing to do. I am allergic to many steroids. My boyfriend says I am a walking disaster in the health dept lol. So yes I am very well educated on what happens when we miss runs. I really have no explanation for my crazy attitude durning the period. I lied to everyone. Myself even. I am going. I feel fine. I was just exhusted and fed up. I used 4wheel, snowmobile, race my truck, hunt, fish. Now I feel to weak for most of that. But I just thought I would explain why it may have happened. I appreciate your caring very much. So now it's onto better thing!

[Charlene_Coxhead in reply to Honeybadger01]

You've been through a lot and I can see and completely understand why you lost your way. Dialysis isn't easy when things are straight forward in our lifes and you certainly have not had it easy for a long time.

I have an issues with a lot of allergies and the standard anti rejections drugs they use they can't, so with the transplant co-orinadtor and renal pharmacist they have found alternative that have been written into my notes so when I get that call they have a plan of drugs. I'm in the UK so not sure how this works regarding non standard rejection drugs and your insurance but might me worth speaking to your renal doctor.

I'm glad you've come back through this dark period and sorry for your loss of your parents. You've overcome so much so your a fighter and beat the odds.

Keep fighting your doing well and don't forget how far you've come

Charlene xx

[Bunkin]

I’m so glad you’re ok now! I can understand your way of thinking. Keep in mind, there are many advances being made in kidney disease. I believe it will be soon. Then you won’t have to dialysis anymore. You can do this. Better things are coming. You’re in my prayers. With God, all things are possible 😀😀

[Honeybadger01 in reply to Bunkin]

Thank you Bunkin! Yes I am so hopeful for the new progress being made. God willing they will be able to give us implantable kidneys. No rejection drugs.

God Bless.

[Bunkin in reply to Honeybadger01]

Just remember, you’re not alone! Anytime you need to talk, I’m here. Prayers 😀

[Bunkin in reply to Honeybadger01]

Hi Honeybadger! Just checking to see how you’re doing😀