I have a bad habit of writing too much, so I'll try not to. (I've already deleted a huge post and started again!)
I'm a university student, and I live with my boyfriend. Like many students, I do not get financial/whatever help from my parents. I don't go 'home' during the holidays either, I do truly find University very stressful. I don't expect those things for granted, but they sure would help! I must admit that although I am a hard worker, one of the main reasons I went to university is because of dire circumstances, I had nowhere else to live (student loan with uni means accommodation!) and didn't know my boyfriend well enough at this point to stay with him and his family until I found a job. All in all, I do not enjoy it as much as I thought I might, I would rather be in full-time work.
Anyway, during my first year at uni, I'd say I gained about 1 and 3/4 stone, at least. I measure myself in terms of how 'fat' I look/feel, I didn't look terribly fat after the weight gain but I felt much heavier and my clothes didn't fit as nicely. I am 5'9 so maybe the weight divided itself sneakily, but either way I felt pretty chubby. I had bad eating habits, obviously. I work better at night, and I'd sit up all night drinking Coke (sometimes with Morgans Spiced, goodness!) and writing essays and revising and reading boring books. I didn't even notice the weight creeping up on me until some bras/jeans stopped fitting me without a struggle. I would skip breakfast (and usually lunch) and have sugary snacks instead of food, and something effortless like noodles for tea. During my boyfriend's visits I would end up not eating all day and then having too much for tea.
I stayed with my boyfriend and his lovely family in Scotland last summer, when my flat's contract expired, and I knew everyone well enough. My boyfriend would still sometimes overeat a little and would encourage me to eat often. I didn't overeat but I sorted out my skipping meals and sugar problems. Then, I went to the gym and lost around 14 inches from my bust, waist and hips in 2 months. I was the happiest I've ever been (so far!) and the inches seemed to go even though I'd drink semi-skimmed milk (I hear so much about that being bad for you, even just a small glass a day?) and I'd still indulge in moderated amounts of chocolate/sugary candy, my biggest weakness /ever/.
However when I came back to uni, my financial situation deteriorated, as did my enjoyment of my course, as did my mental health, as did my grades, as did my eating habits, and then my weight beefed back up again. To put it into perspective, I think I've gained 2.5 stone. It's so upsetting, and I know it's my own fault, but it feels different to a normal "own fault" such as 'carrying a plate with wet hands and dropping it', although it's the same only more complicated and with weight gain. It /is/ my own fault, it's just so hard to keep focussed when you feel like you have nothing. None of my friends tell me/admit that I'm fat/chubby, I never get jested at, and I always get told I have a great figure by my boyfriend, (he must have a thing for larger ladies) but I know I am, and it isn't healthy either.
When I get the all-clear from my doctor, (I've had quite bad chest problems due to stress, etc) I am allowed to join my uni's gym, which is a huge place with so much equipment. This could happen by the end of next week, so it's exciting. For me, the gym is the ultimate motivator. No one wants to scoff something unhealthy when they've worked hard to burn calories, and no one can do much work at the gym without breakfast first, it's so ideal!
I'm so sorry for a long post, I have so much to say (I feel like I have a lot of explaining to do.) Basically, I'm rubbish at eating when I should, and I tend to leave it til I get very hungry until I'll actually eat something, meaning I sometimes eat too much at the end of the day. Even then, I'd rather have a packet of Jelly Beans than have any meal.
I haven't eaten yet and I'm going to be active for most of today (I volunteer at a dog shelter and I have shopping to do later on) so I have a clean slate to start the 12 week plan on. I don't need luck, but I sure need to treat my body with more respect, and I think that's a big problem for most people today. Thank you for reading, and I apologise again for my long post. I knew I'd write too much...