36 male - used to be sporty - now a fat da... - Weight Loss NHS

Weight Loss NHS
98,478 members51,885 posts

36 male - used to be sporty - now a fat dad - ashamed of myself -


Says it all above. My diet is the issue. Need some inspiration as I feel low.

Want my daughter to be proud of me.

On week 9 of CT5K but because of work and what I eat hasn’t really done too much for me - haven’t ran since September 11th. Signed off work with stress. Been on 3/4 long (8k power walks in last few weeks)

Seems like it’s one step forward, 2 back. Desperately want to lose body (belly fat)

13 Replies

Hi Discostu

Im finding it helps me to plan my meals, so on a Fri night i get a book and write down 7 breakis, lunches & dinners & also account for snacks, i write my shopping list out and stick to it when i shop. If ive not bought it, i cant eat it! I also post in the daily diary as this helps me feel accountable and is also a good place for ideas for different meals and advice.

Its great that youre exercising & perhaps by looking at what you eat and making healthier choices you can see an improvement on how you look and this will lift your mood!

Go the heathier lifestyle route rather than a diet as this is more sustainable and educational for your daughter to build a good and heathy relationship with food and exercise!

Good luck xx

Hi DiscoStu - I'm sure one of the lovely admin folks will be able to post up some helpful links for you in due course. This is a great forum for support - it's nice to know we're not alone in our quests to be healthier. Well done for the power walking! I think losing fat is more about sorting out what we eat (or don't!) rather than using exercise, but exercise has so many additional benefits too. Have a good look around the forum - there are lots of helpful tips and inspiring stories - I'm sure the admin team can point you in the right direction. Good luck and here's to a healthier future! :)


Well ... what are you eating? If it hasn't done much for you then it's time to eat something different. So many people persevere with a diet that can't work even in theory (done it myself!) because "everyone knows" this is how you do it. Yet it doesn't work. Don't worry, once you get the method right, the flab will just drop away, especially if you're exercising.

What do you think is the root cause of the stress? Is it just work? If so, it's unfair to to your employer to just go off sick, and it won't solve the problem: start looking for a new job that will be more fulfilling. If you're having a bit of a midlife crisis and wondering where your life is going, 36 is still pretty young: if you want to start learning new skills, for example, you've got plenty of years to do it. I changed career when I was older than you and never looked back.

Personally I found that running needs a very regular commitment. If you can get yourself down the gym every other day you'll see very rapid improvements, which keeps you motivated. If you were sporty before, your "muscle memory" will get you back to a high level of fitness in no time. Do intervals with your pulse rate at or near 100% max for a couple of minutes at a time (although, obviously, you'll need to work up to that level of intensity over a few weeks - don't rupture something!).

Oh, and +1 to these comments from misslovely:

>> If ive not bought it, i cant eat it!

>>Go the heathier lifestyle route rather than a diet


Hello and a very warm welcome 😊

First of all, please take a look at the Welcome Newbie Post here healthunlocked.com/nhsweigh... for advice about how they forum works and all the things we have on offer.

Having enough to eat is vital, if you are following the NHS 12 Week plan then the calorie target suggested is a just generic amount, so check your calorie target on the BMI checker, it’s often higher than you think.

Also try to come onto the forum regularly, daily if you can, reading posts and replying to others. Being part of a community is proven to help weight loss. Why not join our daily chat thread ‘What’s Happening Today? And tell us all a little about your day.

Lastly but most importantly, for your own privacy and safety online we suggest that you lock your posts by selecting ‘followers in my community’ when you write a new post. Please read our security post here. healthunlocked.com/nhsweigh...

Best wishes and have a great first week

Indigo 😊

Hi DiscoStu,

I think you've got great motivation so all you need now is some strategies and this forum is great for that! You don't mention how old your daughter is, but I can imagine (and have observed) that having young children in the house can lead to sleep disruption which leads to tiredness, which leads to less healthy choices. Often times to the focus shifts from oneself to the child with their needs coming first. So it isn't at all uncommon to gain some weight during the child's younger years. That being said I think it is great you have come to a point where you realise it is time to start focusing on your weight and health for your own and for your daughter's benefit. What I'm trying to say is be proud of yourself, don't knock yourself down you are on the right track. What has worked for me is to make small changes. I started with making some healthy swaps. Then I started exercising a bit more. Then I started counting calories, which is when things really started to shift. Then I started preparing meals in advance so that I would be prepared when external factors hit me and made it tempting to go off track (eggs yesterday when I was stressed I just wanted comfort food but I already had stew in the fridge so I simply heated that up instead.bi hate wasting food and it was cheaper and more convenient than going to the shop and trying to find something that would satisfy my stress eating impulses). Best of luck and hope to see more of you around on the forum :)

Hidden3 stone

heck yourself out on thyroid uk one of the other healthunlocked forums to check for unlying cause. It is common for issues not to be picked up on blood tests.

gman1961Working at it

Hi DiscoStu,

You are not alone.



There’s some fantastic advice above and if you are getting out power walking that’s great. Try and be kind to yourself. Stress can be v tough and all consuming and small changes can build up to a big difference. Use this forum to work out what works best for you - shift towards a healthy lifestyle rather than a diet, accept that you will have bumps along the way and I’m sure you will start to see a change. The first thing I did was to look at portion sizes...especially carbs (I still eat carbs and everything else🤫) and I am retraining myself to just eat less than of everything. I am exercising my brain as I’m treating it like a flabby muscle that needs re training. The strugglers thread on here is absolutely brilliant...really helped me earlier in the year. I wish you all the v best on your journey.

RedspotRestart October 2019

You will you will....

Find calorie range....eat healthily

Veg eggs fish little meat

Keep exercising...it will vanish!

You will be pleased

Ali_B621 stone

Never give up, there's a slim dad in there waiting to emerge!! ☺

Copperbird2020 January

Hi DiscoStu - welcome, and sending lots of vibes to you. Look after yourself, being stressed at work is horrible and glad you have been able to get the time out you need. The power walks sound seriously impressive :)

13ValerieHealthy BMI

Hi and welcome stu!

Small habits reap great rewards.

Get out daily for a walk in the fresh air with your daughter.

Identify the main problems..

Mindless eating?

Portion size?

Poor diet?

Evening grazing?


Sort that and you'll solve your problem.

Keep it simple and enjoy your daughter and the life you have together 😍

Love to you and best wishes

You have some things others don't have .A daughter who will give you unconditional love but now do this for you . If you are off work with stress then maybe losing a bit of weight would be a positive . Off work may give you time to evaluate what you do/don't like about everything . I am looking for a new job at the moment . I won't just take any old thing whilst I have a job either . I had an interview a couple of days ago but I didn't fancy what they told me - my next is on Friday . I will be in the driving seat . Life is too short to be unhappy . In fact take this time off to work full time for yourself - plan your meals , timetable exercise . Have a look on Groupon /Living Social for a gym deal . Maybe browse job sites - see whats out there . For me I applied for just 2 jobs and got 2 interviews and that in itself was a boost .

Let us know how you get on . Stress in awful . Chat to your family too .

You may also like...