I just signed up to do the 12 week programme with NHS. I have such a lot to lose, 7 stone 4 pounds would put me in the middle of my healthy bmi bracket. I've done everything in the past. Every diet going. My Fitness Pal was the most successful. I got back into my bmi recommended range. But as soon as I was comfortable with my weight loss I stopped using it. Tried to go back to it a few times but never kept it going. I'm really hopeful that here I'll find support and see success.
At the moment, I'm totally out of control. Well, up until today. I had a measured bowl of porridge. Calories counted! Coffee and tea calories counted! But I have virtually zero self control. This is why I'm terrified I'll fail again. My partner is sick of hearing me talk about what I'm going to do and then not doing it. He's so supportive. He loves me as I am and never criticizes but he's always careful with his weight and I can tell I shock him sometimes with how much I eat. I'm a secret eater and it's getting worse. I love toast and butter. And crisps. My downfall. And yet my kids are so fit and health conscious. I feel like I'm letting everyone down but most of all I'm letting myself down. I say horrible things to myself about my appearance. I have a horrible saggy stomach. Would you be shocked if I said I was a square shape? Or man mountain? That's my more polite way of talking about me! I say absolutely hateful things.
I have horrible pain which I think is my gall bladder but I'm too scared to go to the Dr. Anyway, rant over. But I think if I didn't throw it all out there I'd probably never say it and never seek help. So today is a new day....
"Look forward, walk more, do yoga, stick to calorie allowance, positivity, get my hair done, smile more, dress nicely, put on some make up, start to look after myself, Love myself!"
Nice to meet you all. 😊