Hi, I'm new here and I have a huge task ahead of me with little - no support at home!!!

Hi, as of Monday I will be starting my NHS 12week weight loss as a starting point. My overall weightloss goal is 7st but i know it will take time but my partner isnt willing to make the changes i need to do to prevent future serious illness. A lot of my weightgain has medical issues attached but now off meds nad have my bloods sorted but I have recently had a colorectal cancer scare at 33. I used to be a trained dancer so exercise isnt the issue it is food(living with a junkfood junkie) and motivation to get out the door to exercise. Cant afford gyms or slimming world etc. I am hoping this site will help me as my gp was useless. Cant wait for my first weigh in.

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  • Hi, welcome! Can I ask, does your partner need to lose weight too or would you just like them to make the changes to help you? It is easier with support from home but if you are really determined you can still do it. It's possible once they see some changes in you they will become more supportive. My partner didn't believe me when I said I was starting. To be honest I didn't believe myself having failed so many times before. If you want this time to be the time that works then it will and you can show the world you can do it!! 🀞

  • Oh he needs to lose a lot but he has always been overweight where i havent. I am not asking him to but i had precancerous cells removed and he agrees things need to change as weight is a factor. I am already at a higher risk with IBD. I am pretty healthy in my food choices most of the time, my children are very healthy. He just likes to snack on crap the moment he gets in. I have only tried once in the past and was successful then i got pregnant and then came the high dose steroids again long term. That was 5 year ago. It isnt i want to. Now it is i need to and need all the support i can get.

  • We will help you. Maybe you could ask him to keep his less healthy snacks in a drawer or cupboard that you don't touch. Just see it as something that you don't need. You can do this!

  • Hi shazwatson2003

    Welcome to the weight loss froum.

    There is plenty of support here to help you.

    Take a look at the Welcome Newbie post in the Pinned post section at the right hand side or at the bottom if your on a mobile. Have a look at the nhs 12 week plan, many members have had success following this plan. Use the BMI checker to work out your daily calorie allowance.

    Have a look at the Daily Diary which you can find on the Home page in Events. It is where all the members are sharing their daily plans on what they are eating and any exercise they are doing. This thread will give you some ideas on how to start.

    Below the Pinned posts are the Topics where members share a range of weight related subjects.

    Take your measurements at the start together with a photo so you can see the changes on the days the scales don't move.

    We have daily weigh ins so why not come along and join us today. You can find the weigh ins on the Home page in the Events section on the right. Just click on the post in Events and record your start weight and any loss/gain or maintain for the week.

    To get the most of the forum be active, share tips, recipes and experiences. Read some of the posts they are very motivating.

    Have a good first week.

    Rose

  • I will be sure to weigh in on Monday which i have chosen as my start day.

  • Hi, I just want to wish you luck. I started posting my weight last week and I feel being on this forum will help keep me motivated.

    Sorry to hear you don't have support at home, my heart goes out to you.

  • you CAN do it, even if your partner isn't with you at the minute. I started on here.at beginning of May, i didn't tell my husband initially as i wasn't sure how it was going to go.....then soon as i began to lose weight i was itching to shout it from the rooftops! He is now more aware that i a trying my best and we make more decisions about food together. My husband likes wine/beer/crisps/nuts etc and there is always stuff like that in the house. Don't get me wrong i have had two bad weeks just recently where I've put weight on but its down to my own choices at the end of the day. What I'm trying to say i suppose is that even with all the junk food staring you in the face, you don't need to eat it, and if on occasion you do and you feel yourself spiralling, come on here, air it just like you've done with your post just now.....let us help you. I know I've depended on this site and the people surrounding it many times......its a God send. everyone will have there good weeks and bad weeks, we just need to all pull together and keep on going. You say you NEED this. make sure you want it as well, and it will come! All the very best and i hope you have a great first week, ill be excited to see how many pounds you have lost! πŸ’ͺπŸ’ͺπŸ’ͺ

  • His eating is even at meal time. i will make something or just about to start and he will say i dont want that. he has become much more difficult the last few months. Yes i want it but i do need it more. It is just getting the motivation and support. Him asking me if i want anything from the takeaway after i have already eaten doesnt motivate or support. Glad to be part of this group. You all seem so very nice. Will post start weigh monday. getting excited.

  • I would tell him you don't mind what he eats but that you want to do this and need him not to tempt you! He will get used to it.

  • You've said it just there, you're excited. You do want this! Keep active on the site and we will all keep an eye out for you!!πŸ˜€

    also, is there any particular reason that he may be more difficult more recently? It can't be easy having those things in front of you at meal times or being asked about the takeaway either.....its possibly a habit he has gotten into and doesn't know how to stop? I reckon if you are strong enough to come on here and ask for help and support then you are strong enough to say "no" to junk food and takeaways more and more often. Maybe once he begins realising that you are not going go carry with unhealthy food then he too will do something about his lifestyle.

    and i don't mean that to sound cheeky, just sometimes we don't realise what we are doing until someone points it out.

    well done on taking the first step anyhow! Do me a favour? Tomorrow, sit down and put pen to paper and have a good think about all the healthy things you can eat on Monday. Willing you to succeed!!!!!😘

  • I had to give up work in feb due to child care so i think he feels i need to do what he wants. Like be his mother. Wont happen! Oh he used to eat everything but he gets bored. it is his mothers fault! i mean i see what she thinks is healthy and what she classes as trying to lose weight and how she would cook normally. I used to meal plan as if it was my lives work but i just do a rough plan for the shopping these days. maybe i should go back to proper planning.

  • that in itself is a struggle. I gave up work almost 3years ago to become a full time mum. The first 6-9months were the worst for me, the adjustment is unreal so i can understand where you're coming from with that. Just do what is right for you. You will thank yourself in 6months time!

    as far as planning goes, its definitely a winner, for healthier eating and for the bank balance! We normally sit down on a Sunday night to plan the following week then ill write the shopping lists of what we need. Doesn't always go to plan but we have a good idea and less waste too! Good luck with it all! πŸ€πŸ€πŸ€

  • Hi shazwatson2003 :)

    I can kind of relate when it comes to partners not understanding/wanting to change with you. My boyfriend is slim and fit as a fiddle but he eats so badly. If dinner is taking too long he will go to McDonald's and get a burger and chips for 'a starter'. He constantly snacks on chocolate and crisps and has takeaways for dinner most nights.

    However, I have noticed that recently my healthy eating choices have made him begin to question his own a bit. He even admitted he'd been out for a run this morning. Obviously I can't speak for your partner but you might be surprised. Maybe seeing you begin your weight loss journey will be a bit of a wake up call for him, especially when he sees how much it will improve your quality of life. I'm sorry to hear about your cancer scare but it's great that you're on here.

    Best of luck! :D

  • He wont but we can all hope lol

  • True :) even so I've found coming on here really motivating and everyone is so supportive, obviously it isn't the same as having support from your partner but it's great having loads of people cheering you on.

  • Welcome and we are ready to cheer you on to your goals.. πŸŽ‰πŸŽ‰πŸŽ‰

  • Hi nice to meet you. If you do the cooking you can tweak the meals to make them healthier and your partner need never know. Just a thought. x

  • my meals are on the best part healthy so not much i can do there. scratch made sauces, soups etc. he loves my cooking as do the kids and everyone else i have cooked for. He has just decided he is going to be fussy and wants pizza and chips and fish supper and drink a case of cider over a week. I dont really drink. the odd wine now and again. I will have to figure something out. see what he says tomorrow. he wants curry, probably with chips! might just have to put my foot down. up until recently i never had chips in my freezer, ever.

  • Well to be honest I wouldn't cook anything you don't want to. If he wants curry, chips, and pizza tell him to either cook them himself or get a takeaway! Time to get tough? x

  • i can do a healthy curry that i like but its the chips thing! oh he would starve before cook himself. in the 10 years we have been together he has cooked dinner for me 3 times. i used to at one point work 40-70h a week and still get asked what was for dinner. His mums fault again! I think He may have some mummy issues. Never noticed the common theme.

  • It does sound like that. Remind him you have enough children and don't need any more. :)

  • This is an important time of adjustment in your family life. The time you invest in this will pay dividends not only for you, but also for your children and the future health of your family. Take your time to adjust and stay strong.

    Best wishes and let us know how you're getting on.

  • Change can be very uncomfortable and it's possible your partner is trying to resist change without even realising that's what he's doing. Hopefully when he sees you calmly sticking to your plans and nothing bad happens he'll relax. This is for your health so has to take priority, come and post on here when you need support. Good luck πŸ˜€πŸ€

  • Welcome to the forum, I'm sorry to hear about all the problems you have been having with your health and I fully support you with this. I hope your partner does change his ways soon and maybe when he sees the changes in you it might give him the push to make changes in himself. I do understand many of your problems with your partner as my husband buys new cakes and treats every week and is always asking me to have some of these or takeaways. I do give in occasionally but mainly try to have a look at my calories first. I joined here last year because my husband threatened to leave me if I didn't lose weight and we also want ivf and you have to be under the bmi limit for this. I made sure I threw out our old style chip fryer and bought the actifryer so that anytime I even give in for these they are never going to be too fatter as my husband will never have them from the oven. They still taste great and I am so glad I done this. My husband now is so proud of me and is constantly egging me on and is now more careful with what he is eating. This might change him, try and tell him or even just mention, when he offers you items that are high in calories how many they are, it might soon change his attitude, that is what I did with my husband with some items, 'no thanks that has xxxCals in it.' Come on here anytime you need support we will all be here for you. Good luck.

  • We're all in this together - what I love about this forum is that it's instant and you can 'talk' with others, who seem to be around all day and half the night to respond! It's really supportive and we look forward to hearing from you soon! Hang in there!

  • Hi Shaz - and welcome.

    As my 'handle' will tell you, I too have issues with my weight - BIG issues! LOL. But you know what, having given up a 35+ a day cigarette habit back in 1996 and recently (2 weeks ago in fact) stopped drinking alcohol after many months of drinking 3-5 660ml bottles of Beck's/Stella Artois lager a day I can tell you that if YOU really want to do something then YOU can do it!

    I'm sorry that your partner doesn't seem interested in joining you on your journey to a fitter healthier you - but that is his decision. And, as long as he doesn't make things harder for you, then I reckon you should just accept things and get on with doing what YOU need to do.

    As someone who also needs to lose a round 6-7 Stones to be at a more realistic weight, I can understand how you may view losing 7 Stones with some trepidation, but you know what virtually ANYONE can lose 1 to 2 pounds per week and at that rate - even at 1 pound per week - in 12 months, you will have lost 52 pounds, which is over half way towards your target!

    So my advice - for what it is worth - is DON'T starve yourself; don't feel guilty if you fail to achieve a regular weight loss every week (you'll probably plateau from time to time) and DO make regular exercise a part of your master-plan.

    The wonderful people on here will help and encourage you. And remember, you've done the hard part already, by facing the reality of needing to do something about your weight and - more importantly - actually doing something about it!

    Work closely with your Doctors and believe in yourself and the value of what you are trying to achieve and I'm sure you will succeed.

    Good luck and please keep us posted as to how you get on. :-) xxx

  • I went to the gp on friday and i was told im doing great and everything right. She was in denial i think as she was just as overweight as i am.

    I wont starve myself. i lost 2st in 8weeks before my last child and still had bottle of wine and takeaways, 3 meals a day but we had split for a while so didnt have him helping me make the bad choices.

    will maybe just have to try get into that mind set

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