Feeling pre-defeated

I don't weigh in until Friday but I already feel like I've gained and not lost. My clothes feel a bit tighter than they did last week :(

I've been really good and following my recommended calorie intake and doing extra exercise. I just wonder what I am missing and what I am doing wrong?!

I've been watching all those stupid/interesting weight loss programmes saying a bit of fat is fine and sometimes better than low fat alternatives and I guess I got a bit worried about all of the chemicals and sweeteners in low fat options so have started using full fat butter/spread/a bit of oil but have made sure it falls within calories :( could this be the reason??

I'm trying not to pre-panic and MAYBE I'll be lucky and lose, but the tightness of my jeans isn't promising!


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29 Replies

  • hi, so much confusing stuff out there, know how you feel. haven't got an answer for you but maybe someone has. keep with your plan and good luck.

  • Hi. Stick with it, if you don't lose weight at first it can be because you surprised your body and it has gone into shock. My body did this first week and then In the second week chucked off loads of weight. You will see results if you keep going.

  • Thank you. I did experience good weight loss in my first few weeks but it has all sort of... Stopped.

  • hi Kinbun the thing is a calorie is not a calorie - so 100 calories of watercress is not the same as 100 calories of chocolate brownie, they are dealt with in the body very differently - sugar and artificial sweetners and even the sight of a chocolate brownie can trigger insulin (hence the phrase i only have to look at chocolate cake to gain 3 pounds is actually true!!) and incorporating the good fats into your diet, butter, eggs, cream, olive or avocado oil, avocado's and avoiding anything processed such as corn or vegetable oils, cereals, bread, grains, pasta, rice and potatoes which are all converted by the liver into sugar, and then insulin is triggered to deal with the sugar and insulin is the fat storage hormone - which is why many T2D are overweight. so to see swift and sustained weight loss remove all sugar and sweetners from your diet and all grains (maybe if this sounds awful try it for just 5 days) try eating just protein fat and leafy green veg only for those 5 days (keep within your calorie boundaries if you like) and watch the weight fall off - avoid alcohol and avoid milk in your tea or coffee although cream or coconut oil is fine and if you can skip one meal a day say breakfast that is great if you can skip 2 meals a day so you are fasting for a period of almost 24 hours you will see huge results - 5 days give it a try :)

  • Thank you for your detailed response, I really appreciate it. I know that it's all about carbs and sugar etc. And understand the importance of reducing them. However, surely other people lose weight and don't have to follow this? Ive lost weight without doing this before - so feel like there must be other ways :( It just feels completely unobtainable and so difficult. :/ I'm happy to cut down on things like cereal etc and have already decided to have two "low carb days" so having fruit and yoghurt for breakfast, salad for lunch and protein and veg for dinner, will this make enough of a difference? I absolutely cannot give these things up and if giving them up completely is the only way I'm going to give up because I know I a) can't afford to buy more meat and fresh veg/fruit than I already and b) would end up binging, often. :( my diet worked for me in the beginning. I just don't know why it's stopped. Having to write this response makes me feel like maybe I'm just not willing to do what it takes.

  • thanks for your reply Kinbun, the thing is all diets work and all diets stop working, people get depressed and give up (that is so normal) and the move more, eat less theory has been debunked, weight gain is hormonal - and many of these diets allow a 'cheat day' (although why anyone would want to cheat themselves is beyond me!) that cheat day or cheat meal will bring to a grinding halt all the progress made although you may not see that for a day or two - if you can drop fruit (just for 5 days) with all the sugar that is in fruit (called nature's candy by many) and not have yoghurt and instead replace that with say 2 boiled eggs mashed up with butter and if you can slip the time you normally eat breakfast an hour or 2 hours or even 3 hours and it is not that you are depriving yourself, the food is there the food will still be there but if you can extend the window of not eating (from your dinner to breakfast) if you can make that more than 12 hours i think you will restart your weight loss. if you like eggs there is a diet (unimaginably boring but weight loss is boring) called the egg fast diet and if you are stalled this will take off anywhere between 2.5 and 4.5kg of weight in the 5 or 7 days you are on it (you never want to eat another egg by the end of it mind) but this is for a really short period of time - it keeps you feeling really full - carbohydrate cravings, sugar cravings are REAL not imagined, coming off sugar is worse than coming off heroin but as with any addiction feeding yourself your drug of choice merely perpetuates the addiction. keep in touch and good luck

  • Thank you for the above information. I'll have a think about it and see what I'm willing to try.

  • It's basically all about calories! I am a starch lover myself, and am here to tell you that, if you count your calories, you can eat starch, even quite a lot, and still lose weight.

    If your diet was working and isn't any more, could it be that you need to cut your calories back further? It's depressing, but as we get nearer our target weight, we do need to cut back further to keep the weight going off.

    My suggestion would be to ensure that, whatever else you do, you have 3 portions of low cal cooked veg with your dinner and 2 with your lunch every day (more if you can manage it). They really fill you up, contain hardly any calories, and should enable you to reduce your calories intake to a level where you lose weight, without you feeling too hungry.

    Re starch, I think a slice of toast at breakfast, a sandwich lunch, and a couple of small potatoes at dinner is perfectly fine, if you like those things. Portions need to be controlled, but 1 slice, 4oz etc. should not stop anyone losing weight.

  • There are various reasons for feeling a bit bloated; hormones being one (if you are of that age group), also, certain foods like bread and pasta will make you retain fluid, and even a large portion of sprouts or beans can make your belly a little gassy, which could all affect your shape. Even washing the Jeans in a hot wash could have been a reason! Don't panic too soon, another week if you are careful with your calories and portion sizes..... and we will soon see you feeling more like your normal self.

  • I'm trying not to pre-panic but it's really hard after several bad weeks with no weight loss and the Christmas gain still hanging on. Thank u tho for your positivity :)

  • I massively sympathise I've had that feeling too and it has that horrible heart dropping feeling doesn't it. This really hits home the relationship between size and weight. But an increase in waistline etc isn't necessarily something permanent in the weight loss dept... it could maybe be water retention etc?

    I've also recently changed a few things to whole foods rather than diet versions. E.g. instead of low cal oil spray I've gone back to olive oil proper - but as you say, all counted. I also have cashew butter now despite the high calories, as it fills a nutritional gap in my diet (as a veggie+ dairy free) - in sensible amounts... So I don't think those sorts of changes are what's caused your feeling of weight gain. Could it be hormonal/digestive? Could an increase in water, peppermint tea/green tea etc help? Hope that's given you some ideas anyway. Take care :)

  • I thought about water retention... But that's the excuse I used last week! So don't feel like it can be the reason every week. And yes it's hard not to experience the heart dropping feeling.

    It's good to know you have made some similar changes and you don't think this is my problem :) it helps to alleviate that concern. Thank you.

  • Yay to real food! Diet versions are okay for a limited amount of time, but a bit depressing long term :( It could still be water retention for more than a week, don't rule it out. If you drink a load of water (2+litres) over the next couple of days and still feel the same, it would rule that out. Otherwise it could be wind/gas, as glamorous as that sounds! I really suffer from that. I have a tummy tea (Twinings) which contains fennel and peppermint. I also really swear by figs... It's mainly trial and error. Our bodies aren't machines unfortunately, got to be patient and trust it will all work out long term :)

  • I've recently started having green teas and mint teas for this reason :) will try to be patient and hope it works out! :)

  • Not easy... good luck :)

  • Hi Kinbun, when did you start your journey?

    I'd recommend giving it a few weeks, rather than days, it will take time for your body to adjust to the changes!

    What might be helpful too is the use of a calorie tracker like MyFitnessPal, and investing in some good digital scales. I find that weighing out my portions massively helps me!

    Don't think of any food as off limits as this mentality often leads us to give in at the first sight of the 'forbidden' foods! Everything in moderation! Even takeaways!

    At the end of the day the way you lose weight has to work for you! No diet is a fit all! I prefer little and often (it helps with my digestion issues), you may find you prefer the 5:2, or slimming world style!

    And of course keep using this forum for your motivation and support!

    Good luck! 😄

  • Thanks for your thoughtful response. I've lost count of how long ago I started calorie counting... I think it was 14 weeks ago give or take. So I can't blame it on shock really. I always weigh everything and write it down and I'm quite meticulous about it, as much as I can do. I did SW for a year and lost 2stone. I've tried the 5:2 but found it so awful.

    I think I'm just getting very frustrated and upset at all of the conflicting advice about what to eat and what to cut out as I've always had an "everything in moderation" mindset but wonder if this is good enough now as people keep saying to cut out carbs and sugar and my weight loss seems to have stopped :/

  • The majority of what I know I have gained from the myfitnesspal community! They have some very knowledgeable people!

    A calorie is just a unit of measure, it doesn't matter where that comes from, all that matters is that you are in a deficit. So I will always stand by the everything in moderation diet 😊

    Maybe you need to adjust you calorie intake goal, the TDEE method is very good and quite accurate, just pop it in Google and you'll find a site that will calculate it for you!

    You could also do some more exercise if you aren't already, maybe the added calorie burn may help? (Again I'm no expert but I've always found that exercise helps me)


  • I will have a look on Google for that :) I have been exercising but maybe I could try harder in that area.

    Thank you :)

  • Hi Kinbun, Firstly you are being a bit premature, I know because I have done the same thing, you feel fat, think you have gained, still keep up the good work, by weigh day you have actually lost so don't worry until you actually get on the scales. I personally wouldn't cut anything out, also I agree with the advice not to have low fat products as they contain more sugar and always go for natural fats such as butter rather then processed like marg. so I think personally you are on the right track. If you haven't lost weight give yourself a week or two of the diet before you give it up - your metabolism maybe slower to react. If you still don't lose weight you could try cutting back the calories by 100-200 - perhaps the guide is wrong for you. I wish you all the luck in the world. All the best. Jp.

  • Thanks for your advice :) I will see how I do and if it doesn't work will try to reduce calories by a bit more.

  • I have had a few downs, times when my loss has just stopped. Generally I am losing very slowly. But I have tried to be objective- if I calorie count and exercise it will come off. I wish it was quicker I really do but I will stick at it because I am not going back up. And actually that is a good thing. Keep going 😀

  • Thank you :) will try not to give up and to be patient.

  • Maybe a fast day tomorrow? It works for me, but I have done 5:2 on and off before, so I can cope with it usually. Good luck, you might get a nice surprise!

  • I understand how you are feeling .... if it's really a worry to you then why not just weigh yourself and see?

    Although generally a weekly weigh-in is more accurate for showing real fat-loss, a daily weigh-in for a week will show you how your weight can vary day to day (for many reasons ) . From this you will see your body's own pattern and relax . I have lost my excess weight and have been maintaining since 2015 ...but my weight still varies by 1-4 pounds on any given day.

  • I worry that if I weigh myself early and I HAVE gained, it makes me either over eat or not want to eat at all. Or it looks like i've lost weight, and I relax a little, only to find that on the day I would normally weigh I've actually gained. So personally I find it easier just to only weigh on that given day. Granted I shouldn't be worrying so much, usually I wouldn't - only it was going so well before and has now seemed to stop! I weigh in tomorrow so I guess I will see then :)

  • Are you drinking plenty? Try and drink 6 glasses of water a day. Sometimes that bloated/clothes feel tighter can be water retention. All the best and try to stay calm about it. You can do this!

  • I've gained a few pounds this week (I weigh every day), but I'm within calories, so it could be a few things, but I suspect it's a bit of water retention as its that time of the month. I don't usually see any major fluctuations because of that, but who knows?

    With regards to low fat and all that. I have to admit, I've never been a big fan of low fat food, so I've always continued with butter and the like, as I prefer the taste of it. I find that as I try to restrict calories and exercise more regularly, my diet seems to take on more of a lower carb, higher fat balance, without me necessarily meaning to. It's never ketogenic or anything, but I definitely find myself eating more protein and fats and that seems to work for me. I try not to be too prescriptive about it and will generally eat what I feel like, as long as I stay within calories for the day, within reason anyway! I have found that as my diet adapts, I am generally not eating as much sweet food though. It's not been a deliberate thing, but I don't crave these foods the same way I used to. I think some simple tweaks to your food intake, could eventually yield good results.

    I usually hit a weight loss plateau after 6 months, which eventually ends up driving me to eat terribly and gain weight, but this time around, I am much less focussed on what the scales say and trying to work on my fitness. It's really helping so far, but we will see what happens when I hit my plateau!

    Like you, I couldn't do 5:2, I get really ratty on very low calories!

  • Hello,

    I agree with you that the many diet fads out there are confusing and frustrating, as you begin to doubt yourself as to what works for you.

    As a hardened slimmer - 2.5 stones off, even though I have an exceptionally sweet tooth and an ability to eat for England at the food Olympics, I'd say:

    If you count your calories carefully, and stick to a sensible weight loss allowance (say between 1200 and 1500 cals a day), you will lose fat. It is scientifically impossible not to lose weight if you consume less than your body needs to burn. Even if you ate 1500 cals of Mars Bars and nothing else you would lose weight that day if your body needed more than 1500 cals to function. All the diets and regimes around are just suggestions as to how you might cut back on your calories, and to some extent it is a matter of what works for you.

    My own opinion on the starch/fat question is that, rather than starchy foods being "bad" for you necessarily, the problem is that it is harder to control your intake of starchy foods.

    For example, if you love steak and eat one and then want another one, you;ve got to wait for the second steak to cook. And you might not have one in the fridge and so have to go out and buy one. If you love bread and want another slice, it is a matter of a few seconds to butter another slice and eat it. And chances are you;ve got a whole loaf in the bread bin. The steak eater probably won;t bother, whereas the bread eater probably will. That is the reason that low carb diets often work very well - it's just another way of cutting calories.

    Having said that, I do believe that sticking to natural foods and cooking from scratch for yourself as much as possible is by far the healthiest way to eat.

    But a calorie is a calorie is a calorie. Some are more filling than others, but they all provide the same amount of energy.

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