Newbie, in need of some motivation!

Hello there,

I would really really REALLY like to lose some weight & get fit but I always seem to be giving up :-( I have the BEST of intentions first thing in the morning, feeling today I AM going to stick with it I AM going to walk more, make a healthy tea, I am NOT going to give in, but then..... I want that chocolate bar, bag of crisps, cake, pizza, Mc D, chips, you name it SOOOOOOO badly that I could gnaw my own fingers ;-) I try to resist (honest) but by tea time I am literally shaking, feel almost dizzy, seething with frustration & resentment & I feel awful & so moody, tired & lethargic. One of anything is NEVER enough to quell these feelings, so if I have one I frequently have the whole packet :-(

I desperately need to sort myself out. I am so cross at myself & I so do not like my body & weight but every single social I / we do involves food - BBQ, meals out, Mc D with children, cookies late at night, take aways at weekends etc etc. I absolutely hate fruit, veg & salad & gag if I try. (I've tried really hard) I feel like such a failure. My husband can eat whatever he likes (& does) without gaining any weight at all. If I'm extremely strict I might lose a pound but if we eat out I'll gain 3/4 pounds :-(


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11 Replies

  • Sweetheart, come on, you can do this!!! I sooooo know where you are coming from. At least you are trying. You don't need to beat yourself up any more. Be gentle with yourself. I figured that if I kept doing the same thing and expecting a different result, that I was insane. Einstein thought that too, apparently. If we want different results, we have to do it differently, I guess. Totally with you re: salad, but am so darn hungry am grateful for pretty much anything. I'm tolerating it a day at a time and just refusing to shove poison (sugar - my new term for it ; ) into my body cos it keeps me feeling so rubbish. I have every faith in you hun, just do an hour or ten minutes at a time if you have to. You can do it, really you can. Think about this. You will never have to feel so glum ever again if you just keep doing what you need to do. Chin up . B xx

  • Thank you so much for your kind reply!!! I am going to try the hr at a time or the 10minutes maybe ;-) I think I feel I've GOT to be so strict & I just can't, maybe the gentle start might work better.

  • Bless you. I try to focus on the little changes I have successfully made and not worry too much about the things I 'got wrong'. Like my beloved fiance says, i never fail, i only learn. xxx Good luck hun.

  • Plus. It not like your never ever ever again going to eat bad foods. That is just not a realistic option. So if you learn control over them you can keep them in your life in small portions and odd times. If you cut them all out lose weight and go back to eating them which we all inevitably do. Back comes the weight all that hard work for nothing. So don't deprives yourself, your setting yourself up for a fall. Learn control. I am not there yet by a long way but I'm finding this approach is much easier x

  • I have had 20yrs of yoyo dieting, I have come to realise abstinence is not the the answer for me. Its control. I always used to cut out chocolate, biscuits, cake, crisps etc only to crave them and cave in and binge in them. Now if I'm desperate some something...... Not just fancy it, you can get over than. Then I have some log it.... I use MFP to logy calories. Even of it takes me over by a few 100. Better than caving in from not having any at all and binging to the point I'm over by 10000s instead of 1000s x

  • It sounds like a lot of it comes from your head and all I can offer up is that you'll lose weight when you truly want to. I've been on so many diets but this time feels different. You have to be ready and if you're not then you'll always provide a list full of excuses about why you can't lose weight when what's really being said loud and clear is; I don't like how I look but I don't want to give up all the junk food.

    I can honestly tell you that if you diet right you shouldn't be shaking, feeling weak and tired (especially when dieting for less than a day) or biting your fingers in hunger! No one can make you do this, only you can. I actually feel loads better dieting than I ever did eating all that junk food and I can do loads more stuff, like swimming, fitness classes and I am already noticing I look better in my clothes. I don't make excuses for myself when I want to have a little cheat. I acknowledge the craving, try to distract myself, drink water, eat something (healthy) and if the craving is STILL there (and I'll be honest with you, when I really think about it, the craving is gone or was due to boredom or thirst) I might allow myself a small amount of something that I wouldn't normally allow but to be honest by just sitting back and trying to understand the craving I very rarely feel the need to give in. :P

    I hope this will become the way for you too but like I said you have to be ready and really want to change your eating habits and fitness. ;)

    I use to diet to simply lose weight but recently it became more about getting fit and healthy, which I am doing. :)

    Good luck!

    Sazkia x

  • Thanks lots, I am going to really give this a try!

  • If you really want to do this you will! GOOD LUCK, this is a GREAT place to help you! ;)

    Sazkia x

  • If you haven't already done so, have a look at the nhs 12 week plan and check your ideal BMI and weight for your height which will help you to set a target for healthy weight.

    Then download the myfitnesspal ap and start to log all the food you consume (even if you go over your allowance, still log it).

    Then, bit by bit, try to swap some of the foods that are higher in calories for ones that are a bit lower.

    As you follow the 12 week plan, it will give you lots of tips, week by week on how to plan for eating out. Also, how to increase your exercise.

    Don't worry if you fall off the wagon a few times. The trick is to just get back up and start again the next day. It gets easier..... good luck!

  • Sounds like you could be addicted to sugar, from what you say about the shaking and mood swings - seriously, it sounds like withdrawal symptoms. It's hard, I know, but if you kick out the sugar, although it's really difficult at first, after a while you don't even want it any more. Like if you stop having tea with sugar , then you try to drink tea with sugar in it after you've got used to drinking it without, it tastes terrible with sugar in.

    Try and get it out of your mindset that those foods you crave are desirable, indulgent, naughty, etc, and see them for what they are - junk. Why put junk in your body? They are cheap, nasty food that are peddled to us as desirable indulgences.

    Could you treat yourself with something else, maybe a really lovely home made meal with top quality ingredients, including a home made pudding even? At least you would know what was in it, also I have found that once I've gone to the effort of making a meal i don't always want to eat so much, somehow it just takes the edge odd just preparing and cooking it

  • Hi Oresteia, One trick that helped me quit smoking is that when you get that gnawing craving, set a 5 minute countdown timer on your watch or phone and then spend that 5 minutes visiting a fave website, reading a book or mag or go for a walk around the block or just do whatever is your thing. When the 5 mins are up tell yourself, you resisted the craving and get on with your day. Sounds mad, but even with the occasional fail (we all do it) pretty soon, the cravings start to fail and fade. It's the focus on the craving that's hard to manage, not the food or the drink.

    All very easy to type as I sit here I know, but give it a go and see how many wins you can log on day one (just one is still a win!), aim to beat that score later in the week and so on.

    Best wishes.

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