Well I often come here to read other peoples blog's so I thought I would have a go at writing my own and tell my pregnancy story so far
Where to start? Well....having got back with the love of my life after 16 years apart I fell pregnant in July of last year, as shocked as we were to find out that we were expecting we were so excited and couldn't wait to share the news with our family and close friends. Sadly, as I arrived at my parents to make our announcement I started to bleed, initally without pain but as I have had a missed MC in the past Mum advised I contacted the EPU, after a week of strong pains and bleeding I did MC but not completely, the pain continued over the weekend so on the Monday I went back to the EPU to have the rescan that was booked and found some tissue still remained. I was certain I did not wish to have a D&C so went home to continue this painful journey and hope for the best, that it would be over soon and it was that night. Physically my body resumed normality quite quickly but emotionally I was torn apart, 39 years old and thinking, am i ever going to get to know how it feels to be a Mum.
The weeks passed and I got stronger and started facing people again, my close friends and family were very supportive and I started to live again. I hoped initially that I would not fall pregnant again too quickly as I could not deal with another loss so soon.
As I was going to be celebrating a milestone birthday in January, we decided to seek some winter sun to celebrate and booked a holiday all inclusive to Hurgarda in Egypt. Christmas & New Years came and went, then my Birthday and we were jetting off for a lovely relaxing holiday. Spoiling ourselves on the flight with fizz and so on without a care in the world.
24 hours into the holiday and the first day of the missed period, I let this one go and carried on with the all inclusive bar......the next day came and went...still nothing, thought...thats ok, I have been know to very occassionally go to day 26 so again carried on at the bar! Another day came and had to have a serious think about what to drink! Lemonade it was it was decided......and so I had no period for the rest of the holiday! I did not test when we were away due to availabilty of pregnancy tests but the minute we walked in at 2am the morning we got back I was on it, almost immediately 3+ weeks....whoohoooo......confirmed and full of mixed emotions, I did not cry like last time....maybe because I already knew deepdown I just needed the test to tell me for sure!
As i had history of MC, the EPU sonographer said I should be scanned at 8 weeks so I called the doctors and asked to speak to Midwife about early booking appt and to get her to arrange a scan. My booking appt was scheduled at about 7 weeks and the scan was booked for 8 weeks as advised.
The day of the scan came and I was scared to death of just seeing a foetal pole, an empty sack and anything else to be honest other then a small person with a beating heart......I lay there very still whilst an internal scan in performed and then she says....there's baby! OMG I couldn't believe it....and there was the little beating heart......at first I did not cry, I let her finish the exam and take a few measurements and when I got dressed and she handed me the first picture of my baby, the heavens opened...I was happy beyond words!
I went to work that afternoon literally walking on air...no one and nothing was going to dampen my day
I feel that I have been relatively lucky with how I have generally felt during this pregnancy so far, I have not suffered at all with morning sickness or vomiting, general exhaustion yes, early morning wee's and lack of sleep yes. The ectopic/skipping heartbeats were a symptom I was not expecting but they were checked by doc, I had an ECG, more bloods and everything came back normal, even my toxoplasma result was normal which surprised me as I have worked as a veterinary nurse for over 24 years (now that makes me feel old!). I still the ectopics from time to time, its just typical I didn't have them in the days leading up to the ECG!
The 2nd scan date arrived for the 12 week scan and up until the morning of the scan I was full of excitement, got in the car to be driven to the hospital and the tears fell...I was so freaking nervous that something had come wrong since the last scan, my lack of sickness gave me addional insecurity as I did not know of a Mum to be that had NOT suffered with this! I cried all the way to the hospital and managed to compose myself before we went in.
Sonographer called my name and I again went very stoic, please let everything be ok was all I could think.....probe on the belly and there......there he/she was happily sitting there bolt upright without a care in the world The rest of the exam turned out to be quite funny as she was unable to measure the baby....I was told to get up and jump up and down, swivel hips, get onto all fores, bang hips on the bed and so on, nothing was going to get bubs awake and moving about to give us a better view. She tried internally, was able to do a general check but that was it so was sent off for a walk around the hospital and come back in 15 after a drink and some food. Off we went for a Mars Bar and Hot Chocolate thinking the sugar would get baby moving, I ran up and down the hospital stairs in hope of getting bubs to lie down. Back onto the sonographers table and all bubs has managed to do is turn to face right instead of left! Doh! Was not able to be dated on this occassion so Rescan booked for 3-4 weeks when less room and all we could think was....we get to see bubs again.
Route to hospital for this scan was a peaceful one, we just chatted about names and changes we might see, no tears fell as I finally had the confidence in my body to accept and nurture this baby. Bubs was on top form, in a laying position this time so were able to be dated property and I was right in my estimate as my periods and ovulation like clockwork so i had already done the dates, I just needed it confirming. As there was a mess up at the hospital and we were left waiting for ages whilst everyone else went in before us she gave me 8 scan pics!!! One of which was the underside of the foot which was amazing....I have shared this alternative scan picture with you ladies.
16 week midwife appt came around a week later and I explained to her about my headaches and the inquenchable thirst that I had experienced on a number of occassions so she booked me for an early glucose intolerance test as my maternal grandfather developed type 2 diabetes.
The day of that test was today, I am 18w5d and having had to drink original lucozade (fizzy, sweet & discusting....I thought it was going to come back up!) 410mls over a 10 minute period at 7.30am 2 hours before my sampling and gagging for a brew and my hot peanut buttered crumpets, I sat in that chair at 9.30 exactly and I felt bubba move twice before she has put the needle in...I kinda wondered whether bubba would have a sugar fueled party in there this morning and these feeling have been the inspiration behind this blog today as he/she has not really stopped moving
if you have gotten this far down my blog then thank you so much for reading my story and I hope that I have not bored you all to tears.....
I am having my 20 week scan this Friday, the half way point....and I am very much looking forward to seeing what bubba has been up to in the past 5 weeks since we last saw him/her.....the question still remains.....so we find out the sex.....a colleague said to me yesterday, if you know what you are having its like opening a present when you already know what is inside......and I thought that rings true. I also asked a question on here about a week ago asking about pregnancy symptoms and old wives tales etc and the final comment left me thinking, this lady is on her 4th pregnancy...with 2 she did not know what was having and felt motivated during the labour and cried when each was born, another she said she knew she was having a boy and emotionally she said it was very different and so now this brings her to her 4th and she is back to not knowing, I kinda like that idea and has definately left me with lots to think about before Friday
Well thats it for now, bubs is still dancing around and I will continue to enjoy this feeling on my rest day today......XxXxX