Beanybeanz

Am wondering the same - 20 weeks next Tuesday, IVF pregnancy so hate to think of the birth being out of my control as I’ve known inside out every procedure that’s happened to me so far to make this baby!

Do you follow Kate Lawler (big brother winner, now does Virgin radio & Maybe Baby Podcasts) on Instagram? She’s 33ish weeks pregnant with her first baby and has opted for an ‘abdominal birth’ she calls it, cause of her fear of childbirth

Xx

Jodiieexo in reply to Beanybeanz

Congratulations on your baby made with love and a bit of science - have a friend who has just given birth to her own little miracle!Glad I’m not the only one scared or worried by a vaginal birth as everyone I do speak to seems to think I’m the mad one to opt for it. Will look this person up, thanks for the suggestion. Wishing you all the best! Xo

Reply (1)Report

AllWeNeedIsluv

Hi congratulations on your pregnancy, im just going to tell you what the drs don't tell you about c sections and surgery in general till afterwards when problems may start to occur. I've had two emergency sections. First one was fine as there wasn't any scar tissue to get through, the second one was absolutely terrifying i ended up with a bowel obstruction and loads of infections was really ill for a long time. Im pregnant with my 3rd and im going for a natural birth i can't put my body through that again knowing they'll be more scar tissue and there's more chance they'll get my bladder or bowel. Im not telling you this to scare you im just telling you coz these are things what can happen but we don't hear about them and people tend to see c sections as the easy way out. In mine and a lot of others experiences it really isn't the easy way out!! I ended up with secondary infertilty after my first c section due to scar tissue blocking my tubes. Thankfully i researched and found an enzyme which cleared them. Im just saying be aware of the potential risks especially if your wanting more children. Our bodies are designed to birth and one thing is if your comfortable and have the right support and prep your body perinial massage etc youll have a better chance of not tearing and less chance of infection and future complications. I just wanted to put that out there. Lots of women have section after section and are fine just beware scar tissue can really cause complications that are traumatizing. Wish you all the best hun. 💗😘

Jodiieexo in reply to AllWeNeedIsluv

Hi, congratulations on your 3rd! This is why I posted as there seems to be a lot of thing with pregnancy in general they just don’t get round to telling you for one reason or another... Thank you for your message!

Due to existing gynae issues I have already a laparoscopy - not saying this is anything in comparison but feel more mental prepared for it and the recovery. Also I don’t know if I could go in thinking I’m having a vaginal birth and go through the stress of having an emergency c-section.

Reply (1)Report

AllWeNeedIsluv in reply to Jodiieexo

Thank you.Iv had laparoscopies too due to endometriosis. After my first section. They can also cause adhesions so you might already have them. Just be aware hun the more im researching the more 2nd third c sections have more risk than giving birth naturally without intervention. Hopefully you'll be one of the lucky ladies that are up and out in no time if not its really hard and can be destroying when you are trying to recover and can't take care of your baby at the same time. X

Reply (1)Report

Stacemyster

Don’t worry the experience is just as special and the pain afterwards isn’t as bad as expected So by day 3 I was off dihydrocodiene that they let you home with and only took paracetamol! I’d say by day 6 I felt like I hadn’t even had surgery! That’s my experience and wouldn’t hesitate to have another! Mine wasn’t elective really as my baby girl was big (10lb 7.5oz at 39 weeks 😂 when I had her) so they said normal birth would be a risk as they may have to break her clavicle to get her out so it was really decided for me! I got in such a state as I really wanted natural birth but on the day that went away and I’m sure if I have another I’d need a section and wouldn’t worry at all! Hope this puts you at ease xxx

Angel4cat86

Hi and congrats I’m 23 weeks pregnant and also wished to have a c section however it’s really not as simple as just asking for one you have to jump through serious hoops! Consultant said no straight away and wants me to do counselling. I also read that only 27% of women gave birth the way they wanted last year! So please prepare yourself for a fight!

QT314

I don't know anything about c sections as I had a vaginal birth but whatever you decide I highly recommend you look into positive birth stories and hypnobirthing. Giving birth doesn't need to be scary and it can even be a beautiful and memorable experience. Even if you go for a c-section hypnobirthing is very helpful to relax during the whole experience too.

Congratulations and good luck x

Sbevms

Hi, when I was pregnant I really felt like I wanted a csection but was worried about asking drs and how to justify so I started to research about hypnobirth. I used to listed to an audiobook called Your baby Your birth and I started to get excited about the idea of natural birth. I was planning on doing an online course but then I was diagnosed with placenta previa so csection was inevitable.

My cscetion was absolutely fine and recovery was quick and there are advantages of doing it such as “being in control” so if you opt for that hopefully it will be like it was for me but I would suggest for you to look in to hypnobith as it might change your mind. Good luck!

Ps: I’m not the spiritual or hippy kind! The audio book was very good even if you are a skeptic like I am.

Pasaeoco01

I think many of the other posters have covered the things to consider however something to bear in mind. I have 2 friends who were both booked for csections (various reasons) and they both went into labour before the planned csection date! In both cases the midwives said once you’re in labour you go ahead with vaginal birth which they did.I’ve had an emergency csection after waters breaking, contractions, baby got stuck and I then chose a vbac for my 2nd baby rather than another csection. I found both experiences had different benefits.

As you’re in your first trimester time is on your side to discuss your concerns with your midwife and explore all the options fully. There are of course many vaginal birth ‘horror stories’ out there but it doesn’t have to be a negative experience.

Good luck!!!

Seb9

It weird I'm pregnant with my second now and the thought of having a C-section terrifies me way more than a vaginal birth. I had a vaginal birth after an induction for my first with an epidural so no pain after the epidural went in and although it might not have been the most fun, I was up and about in hours and home within 24 hours. I was pretty much healed up 'down there' after a week or so. I was doing the grocery shop 3 days later and taking the dog for walks. My best friend had a c-section, had to stay several days in hospital, could barely move for days after she came home, she couldn't lift anything and wasn't allowed to drive for 6 weeks. I remember she got a really bad infection too and had to be on antibiotics for weeks. She'd also had a vaginal birth first and said that she'd pick the vaginal birth everytime over the section.

A C-section is definitely not the easy option that it can be made out to be. They're are way more risks of complications from surgery than there are from natural birth.

I would really have a good chat with your midwife about it and see if you can find the cause of your fear of childbirth, it's natural to be worried about it and as its early days you've got plenty of time to decide.

I'd definitely recommend doing to an NCT class or hypnobirth course, even if you choose the c-section, there will be other decisions you have to make to and it helps to be given all the info so you can make an informed and confident decision about your pregnancy and birth journey.

Good luck with whatever you choose 😊

AllWeNeedIsluv in reply to Seb9

Congratulations Seb on your pregnancy x

Reply (0)Report

Seb9 in reply to AllWeNeedIsluv

Thank you, only 5 weeks ago early days, but very excited 😁xx

Reply (1)Report

AllWeNeedIsluv in reply to Seb9

Hope everything goes smoothly hun. Exciting times your first is still quite young? Xx

Reply (0)Report

Seb9 in reply to AllWeNeedIsluv

She's 17 months now, I turned 39 in November and said to hubby on my birthday that I wanted to try again and then if it hadn't happened by forty we'd stop! Definitely didn't think it would happen this quickly though 😂

Reply (1)Report

AllWeNeedIsluv in reply to Seb9

Wow!! Congratulations, that's a lovely age gap. Wish you all the best hun xx

Reply (0)Report

Seb9 in reply to AllWeNeedIsluv

Thank you so much 😘

Reply (1)Report

Jodiieexo in reply to Seb9

Congratulations on your second. It’s funny how everyone is so different, for me I think the fact all my friend have had to be ‘hacked’ at, rushed for emergency csections, the hours and hours of labour, the unknowing of when and where just totally put me off... will definitely discuss my options. All the best xo

Reply (0)Report

Solly-44

Congratulations ok your pregnancy!

People may try to talk you out of it, but remember you have the right to chose a c section if you want one. Even if (and it’s unlikely they would) your consultant refuses to carry it out themselves, they have a duty to refer you on to a dr who will facilitate your wishes.

I chose a c section, mainly due to anxiety. I was carrying a very large baby (above 95th percentile) and just had a feeling I’d end up having an emergency section anyway which I didn’t want. I wanted to be in control and avoid a lot of uncertainty.

Personally I have zero regrets. My birth experience was special, and amazing, and controlled which was perfect for me. It will not lack any of the magic of a vaginal birth if you go down this route. Wishing you loads of luck whatever you decide! Xx

Mangoporridge

I guess everyone is different. For me, the idea of choosing to have surgery and be cut open is way more terrifying. I always just figured it would be much easier to let your body do what it was built to do, unless there were specific concerns. I've had 2 vaginal births now with positive stories. Both induced as they were late and showing no interest in making an appearance. The first took 7 hrs from first cramp, i was discharged after 16 hrs and had already stopped bleeding and fully recovered by then. The second only took 4 hrs and I was home 14hrs later, fully recovered after 3 days. Both involved just gas and air and I felt in control throughout, despite the induction. I'm a bit of a control freak so had learnt the biology of what was going on at each stage of labour so knew why I was feeling how I was, what to expect next etc. and it served me well - they were actually enjoyable experiences overall.

My friends and family who have had c sections have had infected wounds and torn their stitches picking up their babies. Theyve taken weeks to recover.

On the other hand, they say that having a c section can mean your body doesn't release the hormones it needs for breast feeding and bonding etc, but my sister had 2 sections and was a breast feeding superstar, whereas I had all manner of trouble with it. Every pregnancy, every birth and every recovery is different.

I'm now 36 weeks pregnant with my 3rd and he is scanning on the 97th centile so is going to be a big one. I'm in discussions with the consultant about how to proceed as there is an increased risk of baby getting stuck on the way out, but looking at the level of risk, the options they have to help baby out etc I'm still far more inclined to go along the vaginal route than opt for surgery. They want to induce me at 38 weeks before baby gets to full size but I'm reluctant to do that either as early induction doubles the chance of needing a c section. If it comes to it and I have to have emergency surgery then so be it, but I'm doing all I can to go down the 'wait till the baby is ready, let my body do it's thing and just push a bit harder' route 😂

I would definitely do your research and discuss with your midwife the pros and cons of each option and keep an open mind that, as the pregnancy progresses, circumstances may mean that one option becomes much more beneficial than the other.

It also depends what support you have for during and after the birth. I can't imagine it's much fun if you're on your own trying to look after a newborn and recover from surgery. I can't even think about us still being in lockdown by the time you are due, but the status of the pandemic could be a factor in your decision.

Theres plenty of time to consider the birth anyway. Don't let it stress you and make sure you enjoy your pregnancy x

CLCP

The recovering from a c-section is no joke, it is major abominal surgery. I had an emergency c-section and felt like I had been hit by a truck. Walking up and down stairs is painful, breastfeeding comfortably can be difficult, you can’t lean over your baby up, coughing and even laughing can make you think you’ve ripped your stitches etc. I felt broken for the first 10 days and then started to improve. My NCT friends who had given birth vaginally were up and about after a 2 or 3 days. If you’re set on it, be as prepared as you can for the recovery and make sure you have as much help as possible.

Sparklylife

Hi Jodiieexo ! Congratulations on your pregnancy!🥰 I am a few weeks behind you - 9w 5days - first pregnancy after ivf.

I have not dared think this far yet - not fully at least and try shut those thoughts down for now, but every so often it creeps up in the back of my mind! I had a laparotomy for a large fibroid in preparation for ivf. I was warned that if I were lucky to fall pregnant in future it was very likely I needed a c-section (due to risk of rupture of my uterus if it stretches too far). We have dreamt of a family for so long, I did not really give this much thought, I would do anything.

I would have preferred trying for a vaginal birth, at least that has always been how I thought it would happen, but that was before I knew it would not all go to plan for us anyways. Now I am absolutely terrified of this idea - I really worry that if I try vaginally, something would go wrong. But at the same time I really do not want abdominal surgery again. I am really worried about a spinal/epidural too. My surgery in the past went really well - there was hardly any bleeding, but I got wound infection after, was only minor, but needed a few courses of antibiotics and had to cut away some internal sutures that started coming out of my skin and was obviously the issue of my infection. Ended up with a corner of my wound open again. Recovery was 8 weeks - and I would not say it was bad, but I just cannot imagine that with a little baby to look after as well! But I suppose sometimes the choices are made for us and I will just be happy as long as baby is healthy and well!

It is really hard to know what to do for best, there are complications from both and stories both can go really well! Whatever you choose- I really hope it all goes well for you and to plan!! Just look into your options, maybe take online classes if you can and speak to your midwife, you need to be happy with your choice, so if that is a c-section, I hope no one would object to that! We have an amazing health service and the choice is yours!

Sorry, slightly long post - but all the best for the rest of your pregnancy!! 🥰

Jodiieexo

So had my first midwife appointment on Friday and the battle for my csection has begun! They have said I need to go to a class on birthing, maybe it’s to tick some boxes but I have watched MANY videos and I know what I would prefer! Not being funny but I am still here and it’s my body... getting annoyed at the face people keep making it has to be said! Had my first private scan and actually only 11w4d all is well and healthy - was a proper little wriggler in there! Can’t wait for the gender scan now!

Thank you for all the messages and comments, wish everyone the best of luck! Xo

sweetchild1989

Congratulations on your pregnancy ❤ a normal birth ain't as bad as everyone makes out, yer I know everyone is different and have different birth story's, but can I recommend a water birth/ birthing pool I had one with both my kids and they are so relaxing and was only in labour 3 hours, so if your not aloud to have a c section defo go for a water birth x