This is the first time I've ever posted on anything like this.
I was with my ex husband for 8 years and we had firmly decided against having children- sadly we divorced after 3 years of marriage! I have been with my current partner for almost 2 years now and we couldn't be happier.
I found out I was pregnant with our 'surprise' baby 4 weeks ago and I am struggling to come to terms with it. I cried everyday for the first week or so. I tried to start a conversation with my boyfriend the next day about whether or not we should continue with the pregnancy- but he said that wasn't a conversation he thought we needed to have as we love each other, live together and both have good jobs- like there's no good reason not to go through with it. The tears are on and off now but the anxiety of my first child has over taken any form of excitement. I can't help thinking that I wanted longer with my current partner (just us), that we're going to lose spontaneous sex and nights out, that's we've only had 2 holidays together, that we had a plan to save up to buy a house together & now that may not be a realistic goal etc etc...
My boyfriend has a 6 year old child from a previous relationship that says with us on weekends. My bf is so excited to be a dad again and keeps shrugging of my concerns like they don't have any merit- he's trying his best to get me excited by taking me to baby stores n talking about baby names. We have told our immediate family and best friends, as my boyfriend thought that sharing it with them might boost my excitement- but I cry everytime I need to tell someone new & my feelings of being abnormal increase as everyone but me is so excited. Now my boyfriend has started to feel a bit down cos his efforts to get me excited have all been in vain & it's making me feel so terribly guilty.
Has anyone else felt this way or should I seek professional help? I'm scared I'll never get excited & that then in turn won't be a good mum.
Sorry for the rant.