Missed miscarriage, but not sure?

Hi all. I went for my FTCS on Thursdaythinking I was around 10 weeks (midwife dated as 12) and after the sonographer struggled with an external scan (I was starting to get embarrassed thinking I had false positive home tests and wasn’t actually pregnant!) she performed a TV scan and then apologised saying she found an underdeveloped foetus around 7 weeks and no heart beat, I had a missed miscarriage. Initially I was shocked and just thinking of having carried round a ‘dead’ foetus for weeks made me feel sick, so after my second appointment I asked for an ERPC to just get the whole ordeal over with. The thought of carrying it round with me any longer was too upsetting. But here is the part where I may have just entered the classic ‘denial’ stage of grief - I may well have got dates wrong and be around 7-8 weeks, surely HB is difficult to detect that early?! Am I being delusional thinking that maybe this is all wrong and the foetus may still be alive but just not as far along as I thought? I just don’t feel any different than I have the whole time, no pain no bleeding at all. Has anyone else had this? Please tell me I’m being dramatic! They couldn’t fit me in til Wednesday so I have time thankfully but I’m just so worried about essentially terminating a viable foetus based on 1 scan, I’ve not had any bloods done since my booking appt 2 weeks ago. Help 😢

12 Replies

  • Why don't you give them a call on Monday morning and explain how you feel about things? I would have thought they would do a second scan normally. However I must say at 7 weeks they normally should find the heartbeat unless dates could be less than that? If you're worried about it just explain it to them, ask whatever questions you need to ask, nobody is going to put you through a procedure without your consent.

  • Thank you for replying so nicely, I have to go in Monday for a G&S sample to be taken so I will ask then, I know I’m probably just clutching at straws but I had thought I’d have some cramping, spotting . . . Some kind of hint from my body! I definitely want the procedure but want to be 100% sure that there’s no chance they got it wrong. I feel like I’m being stupid, I’m sure they would be pretty certain before telling me that news . . .

  • i don;'t think youre being stupid at all! Unfortunately this is why it is called a missed miscarriage because you get no symptoms what so ever until you go for your scan and find things aren't right.

  • i had exactly the same, you thoughts are completely normally, i was convinced right up to erpc that maybe i had got dates wrong and a heartbeat hadn't been found because it was too early!

    i went to my 12 week scan thinking everything was normally but after both internal and external scans i was told there was no heartbeat, baby had stopped growing at 10 weeks .

    so i was told there was no chance as it would have been seen at 10 weeks, i hope u have got dates wrong, and it was just too early, but i wouldn't hold your breath, scans are so accurate now!

    i felt no different through whole pregnancy no bleeding or pain anywhere, even after op i still had sickness and pregnancy symptoms!

    i think erpc op was the best way for me to deal with things i waited 2 weeks for things to happen naturally (Had nothing no spotting or pain) the waiting was the worst feeling ever, if i am honest i just wanted it to all be over and i wanted to try again (3 months after i had stopped bleeding i fell pregnant again)

    if you end up with erpc and have any questions feel free to ask!

  • Aww I’m so sorry that you had to go through that, but glad to hear everything went well for you afterwards.

    It’s so good to know that I’m not the only person thinking this, I know that the first scan is right deep down but I just wish it wasn’t and feel like I need a 2nd opinion to make it clearer for the stupid part of me . . .

    I feel the same, just want it over with so I can move on, from what I’ve read and heard I think ERPC is going to be best for me, Like a final end point.

  • I have experienced something similar hun. We have lost 2 angels. When we lost our first, we worked the dates out and I would of been around 11 and a half weeks. I had some light spotting at first with some cramping so my midwife boomed me and appointment at EPU where we were told there was no hwaetbwar and the baby had measures at 9 weeks. Up until then I had no symptoms of miscarriage but not long after i was in agony. I had 12 hours of pain if not more and bleeding got a bit heavier so i called EPU and askes for some medication. They bought me in for an internal scan and a second opinion bought in by the sonographer, our baby had got stuck in my cervix. It's a very long story after that. Our miscarriage lasted over a month.

    You're not being dramatic hun. When you want something so bad, especially when it's your own baby, it is very hard to believe what you're being told. Heartbeats can be detected from 6 weeks with their equipment. The technology they have these days is extremely clever. Like someone else has said though. If you're really feeling so anxious, call them and explain. You can always ask for a second opinion as you're entitled to one. At least that way your mind will be at rest.

    Always here if you need to talk, sometimes it's easier to talk to people you don't know. Hope everything goes okay hun x

  • A heartbeat can be detected from as early as 6 weeks Hun. All 3 of mine were monitored due to complications but all 3 had heartbeats from 5+ weeks.xx so sorry.xx

  • I am so sorry to hear about your situation. In the beginning I was a bit in the same boat. After a lot of complications early in pregnancy (from week 3 turned out due to a massive cyst), and blood test being all over the place I got sent for an emergency scan. According to my last periods I was 9 1/2 weeks pregnant at that point, but when being scanned there were no heartbeat. I got told either my cycles was all over the place and I was only 6 weeks pregnant, or I had had an early miscarriage. Due to the uncertainty they offered to scan me a week later and told me by week 7 there should be a heartbeat, which there luckily was. Fingers crossed your dates are just wrong.

  • Thanks everyone for sharing your stories it helps to know I’m not alone. I went for a second scan yesterday which showed the inevitable - my first scan was correct and there’s no growth or heartbeat, I just had wishful thinking. I’m going for an ERPC tomorrow, I feel like it will help me draw a line under it and move on. I still have all the pregnancy symptoms and no miscarriage symptoms so I dread to think how long it would take if I wait for things to happen naturally - I just want it over with now.

  • Hi Hun sorry for your loss, I hope your ok! I had a missed miscarriage in August which I found out I was carrying twins at 13 week scan but also their little hearts weren’t beating! I waited for them to come away naturally but they didn’t want to , so 2 weeks after I went to hospital for day surgery to have them removed in day surgery, I was a little poorly after so stayed in another day ! I’m glad I had it this way as they were cremated together! It was hard and still it upsets me but I’m blessed to have been able to carry them and I’ve already got 3 daughters so I feel it wasn’t my time this time ! I wish you well and all the best for the future xxx

  • Thanks sisi, I’m actually feeling much better about the situation now I’m 100% sure. It’s sad, but I’m a firm believer in things happening for a reason and this little one wasn’t meant to be.

    Sounds like you had a pretty horrible time of it, I hope you’re better now and your positive outlook is very inspiring, all the best to you and your family 😊 x

  • Yes it was an emotional rollercoaster as as my 14 year old daughter was going to be a birth partner and she was with me at the scan so it was a harsh day!! But every thing happens for a reason and my time will come like us all !! Xx

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