Scared about giving birth alone. How would you cope?

Im gonna give birth alone. I only have 4 weeks left for my due date. My hubby wouldnt be able to come as he has to look after the little ones. My mother was no use when I was having my daughter. She didnt enter the room and all she did was scream and shout in the corridor. Me and my mother dont always see eye to eye. She can be difficult and controlling. Even though I do still love her despite all this. Theres no one else I can take. Btw I had a c section with my daughter and I want a vbac this time. But I might still end up with a c section again. Im scared of that and the pain. Did any of you ladies give birth alone and if yes how was the experience.Sorry if this post is too long. I have no one else to ask for advice. Thanks Ladies

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11 Replies

  • Oh Hun, first of all: your post is not too long! I can totally understand you need to talk about this, I can't even begin to imagine how it would have freaked me out to give birth without my husband by my side...

    I'm thinking about several options: if your mum wouldn't be any help during birth, couldn't she look after your other kid(s)? This way your husband could be with you. Well, if that was an option, you probably would have thought about it already :-/

    Or do you maybe have a close friend who would either be by your side or mind your kid?

    The other thing I'm thinking about: a few girls I know hired a Doula and were very happy with them. I'm not sure how much they paid for them, but they said they had been worth every penny. Here is a link which might be helpful:

    Keeping my fingers crossed that you find a solution! If you need to talk about this or anything, we are all here!


  • I had my second daughter on my own (though not a c-section). My sister came into hospital with me in the morning as I was being induced, but went home in the evening as not much was happening. Can't recall what time I went down to delivery suite (around 5-6am?). I was asked if I wanted them to call anyone for me but answered that I didn't.

    The midwife was very supportive and I really didn't feel that I needed anyone else there. My daughter was born with no problems at 7.15. Overall it was a very positive experience for me.

  • A doula would be great cos u could get to know her and then it would be like having a friend in with u... but obviously it's an expense. .. what about having a home birth? ?? That way ur husband would be there and ur kids it could be a great experience for u all of it became a bit too much ur husband could go in the other room withur children but it would still feel like he is close by x

  • With my experience id prefer some company Coz loads of epidural and a spinal bloke made me a bit confused and forgetful my patner reminded me some of the things which were happening when I was in labour then emergency csection so I will advise you to deffo go with someone don't you have a trusted close friend?

  • I dnt hve no one else n i cant afford doula. N I cant hve a hme birth because I had a pervious c section and my baby needs to be monitored.Anyways thanks the advice ladies. I will just have to be brave

  • Don't give up on the idea of a Doula. Doula UK have a charitable fund which helps women in need of a Doula but who can't afford one. You've got nothing to lose by finding out more. Good luck.

  • oh bless you, I've recently just found out I am pregnant and was discussing things with a friend. She has had 3 children and her 3rd was with no support (although it was her choice) She felt so much more comfortable not having to think about another person, to worry about how they were dealing with seeing her give birth. She found the midwives more attentive and everyone's attention focused on her and she found it a much better experience than her previous 2 births with someone there.

    If you have no choice at all and have to do this alone, maybe you could think about bringing things into hospital, your type of music, a few magazines to read, anything to help you relax at the beginning. Speak to your midwife, get the tour of the delivery suite, anything to help make your situation a bit more easy. xx

  • im actually thinking about giving birth alone, at least ive contemplated it, as mentioned earlier, im a little worried about being too conscious about how the people with me are reacting to me being in labour. having a tour of the hospital sounds like a good idea to make you feel more comfortable and im sure that the staff there will be very accomodating. sounds like having your mum there wouldnt be a good idea as you dont want to have to have something like a screaming mum on your mind when you should be focusing on yourself and what youre doing!

  • Hey Sugar123, just wanted to say from the bottom of my heart I really hope it all goes well for you and I hope you have a very easy, uncomplicated birth. I completely understand what you are going through as I am in the same position. I have no one to ask. I have been going to my scans alone and it does make me feel a bit sad that I can't share the experience with the father of the baby or my family. I'm so scared of giving birth alone, and also having to bring up the baby alone too! But I'm optimistic I can do it and I believe in myself :) Stay strong! And best of luck Xx

  • Thankz ladies for the postive comments and advice. I really apperciate it. Btw I aint got long left now. Im due on 15 th October. Even though I still have no one to take as my birthing partner and Im scared but also really excited. I cant wait to see my baby and also to find out if Im hving a boy. As I was sure the baby was a girl. I also have to stay strong as I keep reminding myself women aboard also give birth without any drugs and at home without any support or rest. They have other kids and have get up and do housework after giving birth. But I know after giving birth I will have my lovely fussing over me and the kids. I just cant wait. I feel like I have been waiting forever.

  • Good luck to you all with your pregencies and giving birth. I will keep you guys updated

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