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Terrified Before Appointment

Totmama profile image
46 Replies

Hey all!

I’m a female, in my 30s and looking for a little support as I freak out about an upcoming doctor appointment.

Long story short, I have diagnosed hypothyroidism and have been treated for years for it. Low thyroid is my issue (important fact). My MD referred me to an endocrinologist, who is declining to see me as she says my thyroid is fine.

About a month ago, I had what I can only describe as an eye attack. Both of my eyes in the morning were feeling odd, then over a matter of hours I developed a migraine and severe pressure and some pain behind the eyeballs. I also had nausea. It felt like my eyes were going to pop out of my head.

Urgent care mentioned thyroid or Graves but said that didn’t make sense. And then he tried to talk to me about Multiple Sclerosis. He sent me for a CT which showed nothing at all. And off I went to the optometrist.

At this point, I was thinking it might be allergies. The optometrist said that my eyes look great, but she also took a very close look at the optic nerves and found swelling (and signs of recovering) in my left optic nerve (optic neuritis). She mentioned Thyroid and then mentioned that it could be ‘other’ autoimmune diseases that attack nerves. She referred me to a neuro ophthalmologist, who I see in 1 month.

I’m not really sure where to go from here and frightened. I do have symptoms, some I have had for years (listed below). I have been stumbling more and even fell yesterday with my toddler in my arms (I landed on a coffee table luckily). My biggest concern is that the providers who have seen me so far are concerned, there’s this feeling that they suspect they know what it is. I sensed pity from them. I’m terrified of what I’m going to be told.

Has anyone else had a similar experience? What should I expect?

symptoms:

Fatigue, Back pain, Joint pain, falling down/swerving, stuttering, using the wrong words in sentences, Charley horses in legs, left optic nerve swelling, new symptom of having difficulty getting out of my car (pain/tension in the hips and back).

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Totmama profile image
Totmama
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46 Replies
Xvettech profile image
Xvettech

Hi! I’m sorry for your fall with your toddler. I’m sorry for you both. I have had a similar experience and some drs are slow to say. I believe they don’t want to be wrong. They are probably being careful to avoid a lawsuit. Maybe they aren’t allowed to diagnose. Idk. But I do know it stinks. They ultimately are messing with our well being to cover their own butt. I’m sorry you are going through this. It’s rough. I had lots of MRI’s with and without contrast and lots of bloodwork. Everyone has a different experience and I wish you the best!

Totmama profile image
Totmama in reply to Xvettech

Thank you! yeah, it’s probably liability. Mostly it’s just so anxiety inducing and my left eye still feels wonky so it’s like this constant reminder that something isn’t right 😔

Xvettech profile image
Xvettech in reply to Totmama

No anxiety! It makes the MS worse! Of course that’s easier said than done and I’m probably the pot calling the kettle black. lol. I have bad anxiety. The only way I can battle it is my new f it attitude. lol! Probably not the best way to handle it but with me it’s all or nothing. I do hope you have better results!

Totmama profile image
Totmama in reply to Xvettech

This is going to sound weird, but I almost feel like if I get diagnosed it’ll be both bad but also a relief. The not knowing is the worst!!!

Xvettech profile image
Xvettech in reply to Totmama

True it is and no, you don’t sound weird, this is a tough pill to swallow

RomCom87 profile image
RomCom87 in reply to Totmama

I felt the same way. I just wanted to know what was happening to me! I had optic neuritis in my left eye and that’s what finally got me the MRI that determined that I have MS. My PCP was sure that I had Lyme’s disease but the ophthalmologist said I needed to have an MRI because I might have MS. I was diagnosed in 1999 on my 30th birthday. I had fatigue and dizziness, brain fog, tingling in my left leg, sensitivity to light, loss of balance- tended to veer to the left. I also have hypothyroidism. I hope you find out soon what you are dealing with. I’m sorry that you are going through this. I hope you have support. I’m praying for you. Let us know what happens.

BettysMom profile image
BettysMom in reply to Totmama

No, it has nothing to do with liability.

BettysMom profile image
BettysMom in reply to Xvettech

The diagnosis of a neurological illness is complicated. Doctors hesitate to mention what diseases are in the "differential" because it will upset and confuse most people. It has nothing to do with "avoiding a lawsuit" or "covering their own butt."

Totmama profile image
Totmama in reply to BettysMom

I can see that. The urgent care doctor was so gentle when he tried to bring up MS. He was quiet for several minutes like he was pondering something, looked a bit sad, then said something along the lines of ‘The other thing that is sometimes seen with eye issues like this is something called Multiple Sclerosis, it’s an autoimmune disease’

I cut him off and he quickly retreated on discussing it (that’s a me issue, he approached it the absolute best way)

Xvettech profile image
Xvettech in reply to BettysMom

I can have my opinion you can have yours and we both can have a nice day 🙂

Jwoman3 profile image
Jwoman3 in reply to Xvettech

I do not have MS but as a retired educator who helped my parents when they were sick,I get you and am on your side. Get yourself a lawyer or a Nurse who specializes in Medical Legal issues. You can also discuss this with your insurance company. They can all assist you with some vital information. Docs in the good old days like our family doc who served under George Patton(yes,I know because he had lots of photos of docs that he worked with in the ETO during WWII) do not exist on this earth anymore. This type of back-up with insurance companies,social services along with others can help you navigate the system. Also had a student who's mom had a serious disease so I care.

MSFlea profile image
MSFlea

The doctors I saw were careful not to say what they thought it might be until they had it really close to being one thing or another and I was down to one last test (the lumbar puncture).

It took a while to get the doctors to take me seriously, my main symptom was severe dizziness and brain fog. It took me nearly falling off the doctor's table for her to send me to specialists and get tests done.

I don't think it sounds weird at all that it would be a relief to know what your diagnosis is. When I was waiting to find out, I felt the same way. The not knowing was awful. Finding out was, at first, a relief. Because then we could plan and at least have a course of action, instead of just test after test, and not knowing what medications to go on.

Best of luck to you🧡

Totmama profile image
Totmama in reply to MSFlea

I’ve just been suffering for so long. If it ends up being MS or another autoimmune disease, it’ll explain the last 15 years. I’ve been thinking more and more about my symptoms and realizing how much I push through.

My exhaustion has been so intense that my legs feel like lead.

Jwoman3 profile image
Jwoman3 in reply to MSFlea

I agree with you. Guys,you are in my prayers.

carolek572 profile image
carolek572CommunityAmbassador

Welcome to the forum, Totmama . The wait for a correct diagnosis is excruciatingly long. The doctors want to get it right. It took a long time for my diagnosis. You can visit mymsaa.org for resources related to ‘ms’. I look forward to hearing more from you. :-D

Totmama profile image
Totmama in reply to carolek572

Hi! I’ve been dealing with symptoms for quite a while. I’ve been blown off so much. I actually had a psychiatrist (who is treating me for depression) say ‘Okay, this is NOT psychological, there is something going on with your body and you need to be seen by a specialist. This level of exhaustion is not normal.’

I actually appreciated that. It was nice having someone say, hey, this isn’t normal

carolek572 profile image
carolek572CommunityAmbassador in reply to Totmama

I understand all too well, Totmama . I had many doctors who told me that it was all in my head. My PCP is the one that ordered an MRI, not my neurologist, and discovered all my lesions. I just wish that it didn’t take so long to find them! Keep insisting that they continue to search for what ails you. Keep notes of everything and tell them of all your symptoms, someone has to solve this mystery! :-D

PSNuser profile image
PSNuser

I had the opposite happen, In my 20s I had something called Uhtaf phenomenon with my eyes and dad being a physician knew something was up. My dad wouldn’t leave it alone and eventually I went to a Neurologist. He didn’t say anything until after the MRI came back, then he used the “legions” on the brain mri to confirm MS

Is it possible for you to schedule with a Neurologist office directly? It sounds like the office you go to isn’t making you happy, can you get a second opinion?

BettysMom profile image
BettysMom in reply to PSNuser

The Uhthoff phenomenon is a temporary worsening of neurological symptoms lasting less than 24 hours that can occur in multiple sclerosis patients due to increases in body temperature.

Lesions, not legions.

Totmama profile image
Totmama in reply to PSNuser

I tried to bypass the referral process but unfortunately the specialists refused even though my insurance doesn’t even require referrals for specialists.

My doctors office did call me yesterday evening. And I basically started complaining that I think it’s ridiculous that I can’t get seen by an endocrinologist and a neuro ophthalmologist. I pointed out that thyroid has been mentioned by all providers as well as Optic neuritis, so logically, both should be investigated.

They’re going to try a different hospital 🙌🏻

PSNuser profile image
PSNuser in reply to Totmama

I say you stop depending on them. Is there a second doctor network in your area? You need to go somewhere else if you can. Your current place seems to be giving you the runaround and thats unacceptable.

Jwoman3 profile image
Jwoman3 in reply to PSNuser

Yes. Do this now.

Jwoman3 profile image
Jwoman3 in reply to PSNuser

Your dad sounds like a rare bird and a winner. Mine was not a doc but he had the same attitude.

kdali profile image
kdali

Welcome! I think the next thing you will do is MRI scans after the ophthalmologist sees you. I have had optic neuritis way too many times 🙄 But, I have tips! Taking eye breaks during the day may be helpful for discomfort and prevent further eye strain. I have worn an eye patch before, that works too. I made my own by cutting a black sock toe off and sliding it over my glasses. I was very pregnant and looked like a ridiculous pirate. My then toddler thought it was great and my knowledge of pirate phrases came in handy. Sunglasses indoors or in stores may help if the light feels too bright. During my eye breaks, I would sip coffee; I don't know why it helps but I'm not the only weirdo that does this 🤣

Might not be pity. It may be that the providers are genuinely concerned that something serious is up, and they can't help you but wish that they could. There's a lot of nothing good that fear and worry can do to you while you wait for answers. I'm a fan of distraction, and playing with toddlers is a great one! GL to you! I hope you will let us know about your visit.

Totmama profile image
Totmama in reply to kdali

Haha, a coffee eye break actually sounds great. I go heavy on the caffeine as it keeps me awake! I do think I’m headed for an MRI. I did have a CT though and that was clear, wouldn’t a CT have shown something?

kdali profile image
kdali in reply to Totmama

MS can be seen on a CT scan, or missed. There's more helpful detail with MRI images, and the order will likely include your c-spine. If nothing is seen, it's common to check again in 6mo to make sure it isn't MS, as sometimes it takes time for lesions to show up or be large enough for the scanner to catch. This is all moot if your MD thinks it's something else, but they would likely order a set of scans just to rule it out. It's a lot of hoops, worry while you wait, then hurry up and jump again 😵‍💫

Totmama profile image
Totmama in reply to kdali

Thank you! I’m hoping I get some answers. I told my husband that all I want is an answer so if I end up losing sight in my left eye eventually, then I can prepare and obviously prepare if it’s something serious. Having a toddler makes it all feel more urgent.

Frances_B profile image
Frances_B in reply to Totmama

Apart from the similarity of your body being physically shoved through a large donut shaped machine, a CT scan is a different procedure and it is not used to diagnose MS.

PugLuva profile image
PugLuva

Lumbar puncture is a great way to confirm MS. I didn't have many lesions on my brain. But several O bands showed on the results of my Lumbar puncture.

Totmama profile image
Totmama in reply to PugLuva

Did a lumbar puncture hurt? I’ve had an epidural before and that wasn’t bad.

When your MRI was cleared, they still had you do the lumbar puncture? Did they still think it could be MS or were they looking for other things too?

mrsmike9 profile image
mrsmike9 in reply to Totmama

I have had two. It stings while they give you a shot to numb the area, then it's okay. I remember during the second one I felt a little bit of pain radiating down a leg. I said, "My right leg hurts. Is that normal?" I was assured that happens sometimes and not to worry. I gather they will "tickling" that nerve. I was told for both to keep my back perfectly straight for several days to avoid the headache that can happen. It worked for me!

JSSimp profile image
JSSimp

I will be keeping you in prayer. Hopefully you will find out soon. I was able to find out 1mth after having symptoms with a Lumbar Puncture and MRI’s. Also my doctor order a battery of labs immediately to rule out other things. I’m grateful my doctor listen when I have concerns and try to be active immediately when I experience new symptoms. I pray you get someone to listen and be active immediately to avoid future issues🙏🏾

Totmama profile image
Totmama in reply to JSSimp

Thank you! I keep switching between thinking it’s probably nothing and then being like ‘but is normal for there to be swelling on an optic nerve?’ Lol.

I’m not the type to go to the doctor and I’m not great about advocating for myself either. I’m like, well, I’m breathing so it’s all good 🫣

JSSimp profile image
JSSimp in reply to Totmama

You’re welcome. Often when we Advocate for ourselves things make a difference and a great mutual relationship with your care team. This isn’t a disease we lay down on. Daily we have to fight for the Ultimate healthcare. Many prayers to you with connecting with a great care team🙏🏾

Dean0111 profile image
Dean0111

did you ever have a mri of your back and spine. Transverse myelitis comes to mind

Totmama profile image
Totmama in reply to Dean0111

I had my back checked probably 15 years ago due to back pain, I don’t remember if it was a CT or MRI but I do recall that they needed a secondary test (which was never done) to check soft tissues as what they did only looked at bony structure. I was pretty much blown off because I was young. I do have a 6th lumbar vertebrae.

About 6 years ago I was having bad bad back pain (I was crying) and my husband gave me a back rub. He found a lump in the lumbar area of my spine and was massaging around it and it burst. I had a sensation of fluid gushing and relief, it was basically a tingling sensation that traveled down my spine. So I definitely have had a cyst on my spine.

AquaZumbaFan profile image
AquaZumbaFan in reply to Totmama

Wow! That sounds really painful if your scan lasted only about 10 minutes it was probably a CT. They are more for Bony issues. MRI is better for soft tissue generally speaking.

Totmama profile image
Totmama in reply to AquaZumbaFan

Yeah, I’ve dealt with the back pain my entire life (started around age 17). I wrote it off as probably due to the 6th lumbar vertebrae and assumed there was probably slipping of a vertbra causing the pain.

I think I probably only had a CT. And my most recent CT showed nothing.

Totmama profile image
Totmama in reply to Totmama

Side note: If I end up needing a spinal tap, do they go in between 4-5? If so, I imagine I might need to make sure that it’s known that I have a 6th for placement

AquaZumbaFan profile image
AquaZumbaFan

I don’t know if there are any pain management specialists near you but I had crazy symptoms in my left leg that were ongoing.. very little low back pain but I ended up having bulging and extruding discs in my L3 and L4 .. I went through all kinds of PT they thought that my problem was in my leg not my back. MRI showed the bulges and once my doctor did the epidural injections it was a complete game changer! The pain in my leg was immediately gone! I remember having pain in my back since I was a teen as well. My mother always attributed it to the fact that I used to do a lot of backbends 😆

Totmama profile image
Totmama in reply to AquaZumbaFan

I haven’t looked into pain specialists, I usually just crack my back and the pops can be heard clear from 50 feet away 🫣 but the popping usually relieves the pain. Pretty much nothing else helps other than massage.

I do have to say though, I had an epidural for my daughter’s birth and I have never felt so good. I told my husband that I had never felt so great in my life, lol.

AquaZumbaFan profile image
AquaZumbaFan in reply to Totmama

I totally get what you’re saying! The first time I had one to help control the pain in my leg and the knee which was all referred pain from the bulging/extruding discs.. I had almost completely no pain whatsoever and actually I wasn’t having any of the weakness that I’ve been previously having that leg as well.. sometimes I could be like going down the stairs and it would be like I wouldn’t even have a left leg anymore.. it was missing in action.. next thing I know I was on the floor! That was inconvenient!! The epidural injections help me for well over 5 months.. I got them done again beginning of April.. and I’m still going strong with no crazy pains. It has been truly life altering!

sashaming1 profile image
sashaming1

Sorry to hear that. I’ll be praying for you.

Biggums profile image
Biggums

Greetings Tótmama. A Lot of the auto immune diseases have similar symptoms. At the surface from what you described might be MS. The things you mentioned sounds similar to my journey with the optic neuritis and the clumsiness. The one thing to do is not worry and stay diligent in your search. The good thing is that there are better treatments for all of it. Hope this helps.

Buttermom profile image
Buttermom

You need an MRI, it's more definitive than anything else.

stepsforNeeC profile image
stepsforNeeC

Totmama, Hello, and you shared so much important information about your journey and your symptoms. It’s imperative to know that you are making the most important decisions about your health care and we can only share our own experiences. If there is one suggestion, that or might I may politely ask; please see a Neurologist and present all of the symptoms and concerns of previous doctors along with tests (I.e. labs films etc). Unfortunately, there are several Autoimmune Diseases that have similar symptoms; but a skilled Neurologist will know what’s best and where to begin with you! Please keep us updated, praying for you. Sorry for your fall with your previous toddler; Angels continue to surround you. Stay encouraged my friend 🙏💐. NeeC

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