I have my dad telling me that I have to call my mother, and it doesn't matter if I'm upset with her because she doesn't deserve 'this'. And he's he's scared she's not going to wake up in the morning, so I have to call and make her happy.
So I call, and in a matter of 15 minutes she is in tears and everything from her childhood to her entire life was awful and all my fault. It's all my fault, everything. I wasn't even born yet for some of it. And she hung up on me 🤨
Not like I don't have my own stress, I get this too... ty for letting me vent! 🤗💕🌠
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Jesmcd2
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Sorry you are having to go thru that. My mother disowned me cuz I wouldn't put up with her talking to me like that. She even wrote me out if the will. It hurt at but i eventually moved on pass that by forgiving her for her actions. She passed away over 20 years ago & we never did reconcile. I have no regrets as I did what I had to do to survive. I hope you can reconcile with your mother but if not, you have to take care of yourself regardless of what your Dad or anyone else tells you.🤗🙏
I have a friend who is going thru that with her mother who has been diagnosed with clinical depression and fast progressing alzheimers/dementia. Im not at all suggesting or hoping anything like that for your mom. Just with my friend’s mom she was never like that in the past. I hope a medication change can help her.
This has probably been a lifelong stress in your life. I often wonder if childhood trauma (even emotional) has a role in bodies that attack themselves as does MS. You were a dutiful daughter, in doing as your father asked. Well done. But there's a price you paid. Now just let it go. Tonya Harding who once had an anger control problem learned to "tree it." Whenever those angry feelings arose that were so destructive, she'd do to a tree, lay her hand on the trunk and let all her angry emotions go into the tree...because trees understand what to do with pain and anger.
My sister had an awful relationship with my mother, they wouldn't talk for years. They learned the other was doing all right through me. When my dad died, they both made the effort and were on the way to totally reconciling their different perspectives of everything. My mother died 6 months after my father, I've always been happy they were able to work things out. Who knows if the reconciliation would have lasted or not, I'm hopeful it would have. Some things however are not fixable, but it takes at least one to try and you did. At this point just leave it and wait for the next time. Your mother is deeply troubled and from what you've described it's not your fault. So all you can do is be kind and stand back. I'm sorry things are just so hard sometimes.
Is she forgetting you are her child and not her parent or older sister? You weren't around when she was young. Dementia?? I am so sorry you gave in to your dad and called. Does he know what she says to you? What a burden you carry. I'm so sorry.
You need to accept that your mother has a psychiatric illness and stop taking her tirades so personally. You can't change her but you can change your reactions to her.
😃 Admit, looked at a few of your previous posts and you said something about a smile so there it is for you, You are a positive person. This is a good place to vent family concerns and I’m concerned about you. Wondering how frequently he asks you to make that call. If every call ends that way I hope you decline next time, for your sake. Your health (mental, physical, spiritual) and your future health matters. You didn’t ask for suggestions. Were you just venting or would you like some? 😏
My daughters (in their 30s) had to ask me to stop talking about my health, my past an issues with other family members so much. At 60 I have accumulated a lot of baggage. I didn’t even realize I did it. It’s so embarrassing now and our relationships are much better. Daughters are not built for hearing how sick and sad Mom is all the time. I’m not saying not at all, just mixed in with positive things or if nothing is positive, I just talk about her interests. I really hope today is a good day and here’s a few more silly smiles. 😃🙃😎🤓🤠🥸🤡🤩🤗🫧
My dad wants me to call everyfriggenday! And there is no way I can do that, she is toxic to me. She would bring me to her level and I can't go there!🫣🤣🤣🤗💕🌠
Whoa, it sounds like you were being the bigger person in this situation.. no one can push our buttons like our family. Sorry you are going through this
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