I went to a dermatologist last week to have a cyst removed from my shoulder, and as usual Roman, my husband, came with me. The nurse took us back to the exam room and told us that Roman would not be able to stay with me during the procedure. She then went on about aftercare of which I heard nothing.
I started to cry hysterically after she left and Roman tried to calm me down. All I could say was that I didn't want him to leave. The nurse and the person who was doing the procedure came in and asked what was wrong. I said I didn't want my husband to leave and they said it was their protocol, and I could leave if I wasn't happy about this. They said "what surgical procedure do you know of, where a partner is allowed to be present?" I couldn't think of anything until later today when it occurred to me that during a C-section a partner is present.
I have been waiting for this appointment for a while and wanted it to be done, so they made Roman leave.
I sobbed through the entire procedure and they kept asking me what I was so afraid of, in a belittling sort of way. I said, "I am not afraid I just want my husband with me". Or, "I don't want to be alone" and they said you aren't alone you are with us, I said "that is the problem."
They told me not to stretch the area where the stitches are or the stitches could come undone. I asked, what do I do if that happens? She said you will have a big scar. I was expecting to be told to come back, but no, more anxiety. I said I guess I can put a lidocane patch on it and then have my husband staple it closed with my goat stapler. I would do this before ever going back there again.
They made me feel so dumb. I started to calm down towards the end, and finally, it was over. As I was walking to the checkout, I lost it again. The poor lady asked me what was wrong and I just sobbed that was the worst experience of my life and I will never come back here.
The other lady went and got Roman who tried to calm me down. I told him, I just wanted to get out of there. So he gave me the car keys and said to go, he would check me out. I couldn't get out of there fast enough.
I understand how there are certain protocols that offices have to have, but there should be accommodations made for certain people who are having mental issues. I am growing more fearful of seeing doctors, and I can see this will become more debilitating over time if I can't find doctors who are more empathic to the disease process I have. I can't help this and their reactions only made me become more agitated.
I now know that I had the right as a disabled person to have Roman present if I started to pull the ADA card out of the pack, but should I have to? My GP said I should start taking valium if I think I am going to get agitated, but should I have to? Will I start to have a panic attack thinking I am going to have one?
I am still all worked up about this whole experience.
I wrote to and spoke to my neurologist because I read panic attacks are something associated with MS. This was so over the top, it was terrifying at the time, but looking back my reaction was extreme and this is not me. She said it was the result of an accumulation of stressors and an acceptable reaction. I am like wow really? She does however want to me do a sleep study, redo my cognitive function tests, and rule out anything else. She did say that the long term use of cannabis has also been associated with Panic attacks.
I know that MS can cause unpredictable, uncontrollable responses to normal stimuli, and medical professionals should understand this and be more accommodating to those who need it.
Are panic attacks part of MS? Will they start happening more often?
Thanks, MS warriors,
Mea
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Curlygoats
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I am so sorry that you had to deal with those idiots. There was no excuse for their treatment of you, and as far as I know all of the doctors in our area permit a secondary person whenever someone is older or has a disability. To my way of thinking, your husband is one of your mobility aids, and if you weren't knocked out and being wheeled into formal surgery there's no reason he shouldn't have been able to stay with you. I would report that place to your state board and every ADA-type organization in your area.
As far as the panic attacks, I had mine in the early years, long before diagnosis. My life had undergone significant changes, I was dealing with multiple stressors, and I think it was just the perfect storm. I don't know that I believe MS was the cause of them, but people with MS are prime candidates just because of everything we deal with. Play the ADA card when you have to. Take tranquilizers when things are really bad. They're just more of the tools that can help you cope. Your life is stressing you out right now, so do everything you can to just take care of yourself.
Thank You. I did report it to the DOJ Civil Rights division and the SC Medical Board, they both said that there isn't enough to do anything. I guess if I said I was disabled and pulled the ADA card he would have been allowed to stay. Well now I know and I hope my experience helps someone else.
I hate to say it, but people in general aren't very nice anymore. I started using my cane in public before I really needed to, because I discovered that people WERE nice when they saw it. No more nasty looks when I wobble or move slowly. Seats suddenly available that were off-limits before. Cars that actually stop at crosswalks in parking lots. More concern for my comfort and well-being at medical offices. I don't take advantage of it, but I do use it as needed. I even hang the disabled parking tag when we're not using a disabled spot, just in case. It really makes a difference.
You didn't ask for your disability, and you've functioned as well as you could for as long as you could. Play that card every d*mn time you have to.
Yes panic attacks are horrid and then afterwards people treat you as if you have the plague. Last October I had a meltdown in my primary care Dr's office and it ended up putting me in an Adult psychiatric unit for a week until they would let finally let me go only due to my Mom having a power of attorney I had set up in 2013. That whole week I was denied cannabis and things got really horrid ... I'm hypersensitive to meds and they trippled my muscle relaxer trying to compensat. Be thankful for your husband cause going through this stuff alone sucks... it's a nightmare for alot of us here. And everything they stick me with a psychiatrist the list of my mental afflictions grows and grows... maybe one day it will be different but for now... it's sickening what some health care places are doing to us... they need to change the name cause there is very little "care" involved
Oh I am so sorry. I can't imagine being put in a mental ward. I am glad at least you have this group. The grass is always greener. I hope you can see the green in your pasture.
I once went to a rheumatologist because I was having pain in my legs, and the guy was quite rude. Maybe because I was younger at the time? He was really dismissive and immediately started talking about injections. The threat of needles was the final straw and I cried as I checked out, while the office ladies looked at me like they couldn't imagine what was wrong with me.
It was actually lucky; at least he showed his true colors before I let him treat me. Thankfully, there are still some doctors out there that are decent human beings.
You might want to leave them a crappy review online.
I think that's great. I always read reviews before I see a new doctor, so I think it will help others to steer clear..
When I see someone in tears, I generally want to hug them or say something encouraging. To act like there is something wrong with someone just because they are distraught is so completely lacking in compassion! People like that have no business being in the medical profession.I hope you find a new doctor who shows you the respect and kindness you deserve.
mea that was a horrible experience & I am so sorry you had to experience it. I would want my hubby there also it is our right to have some one we trust with us & then for them to treat you like "dirt"! That is time for a law suite! I am praying for you. Mary
OMG, I'm so sorry to hear about what you went through. I have dealt with panic attacks since my diagnosis decades ago. They are just awful. A few sent me to the E.R. they were so bad. I have been on anti-anxiety meds for 20 years now. Seeing how bad your reaction was, the doctor certainly could have made an accommodation for you. Sending you a big hug.
I was once a first-aider, and in most of the instructions for what to do, number one was "reassure the casualty" - I'm amazed that this is not part of the training for all healthcare workers.
Please don't start having a panic attack because you're worried you'll have a panic attack - or you'll vanish into a logical vortex that's hard to get out of. But yes, it can happen.
I believe the standard advice for people having a panic attack is "square breathing" - imagine going round a square, breathe in as you go up one side, hold across the top, breathe out down the other side, hold across the bottom. If it helps you focus, find a square or rectangular thing to look at as you do it, like a window or a sheet of paper, and move your eyes around the edges in time with the breathing.
If you can say out loud that you're having a panic attack, that might help, because "panic attack" is a thing, and there are instructions for how to help people having a panic attack, whereas just plain panic is more likely to get the sort of "pull yourself together" reaction that you got.
I'd say go ahead and play the disability card shamelessly whenever you can - there have to be some compensations! Maybe a small cuddly toy 🧸 or some other familiar object to hold in difficult situations would help? If it does, it's better than valium, no side effects.
My heart goes out to you.. the anesthesiologist tried to kick my husband out of the OR when he was going to do my spinal block for my daughter… I knew how important it was to stay still and I was afraid if he wasn’t there with me, my leg would kick by accident.. this was just about two years before my diagnosis but I’m quite sure I had MS at the time.. I was crying my heart out and my OB/GYN stepped into the pe to see what was going on and she overrode the anesthesiologist who told my husband he could absolutely say… My husband probably had 20 years of OR experience at that point. He wasn’t going to contaminate the field, but I was just able to look at his eyes and hold perfectly still for once I know, and just a small way for myself how panicked I felt. I have no problem pulling that ADA card myself when it’s necessary.. my daughter has suffered with anxiety issues since pandemic, and on more than one occasion, I have accompanied her for her medical care. I think I remember you saying him you live in Virginia I have a fantastic dermatologist in Richmond. She was voted the most compassionate doctor several times.( I have known her for probably 20 years as she used to take care of my father and I accompanied him for years as he had dementia, and a stroke the last eight years of his life) She would also absolutely let your husband come with you if you needed it. message me if you want any more information. Good luck with all of your testing
Sorry you had to go through that. You do have the right to have someone with you if you aren't in a surgical room. Some doctors are in it for the money & not for helping people.
Surgery just means an incision to remove, repair or replace body parts. Theoretically cutting your finger or toe nails can be considered surgery. Just remember to stand for your rights with any doctor. They aren't gods or superior to you. 🤗
I would be pissed as well! I used to have a very "dismissesive" GP. He was nice, but he would not fight the insurance company for my husband (heart condition). I told him to his face that he was fired because of this. Our entire family left his practice.
The one really good thing you have going for you is that your husband was there. Mine doesn't even ask how my appointments have gone. The only time he goes with is if I need a driver after a procedure. Count your blessings.
I am sorry your husband isn't more supportive. My sister was just diagnosed with Lupus and her husband told her if she did a cold water plunge and a sauna she would be fine. He totally is ignoring her diagnosis. Perhaps your husband figures he doesn't hear what the Drs say, then you can't get worse
He is a quiet guy. He always has been. I have pointed out that for me to feel.loved, I need words. There was a teat we both took to see what it took for each of us to feel loved. Mine was words, his was being together. Geez. We're both retired so we're always together!
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