Was diagnosed in 2000 with ms . Am suffering worst depression I’ve ever experienced which I’m finding harder to cope with as every day goes by . What can you do when you also suffer from suicidal ideation??
Anyone suffering from clinical depressio... - My MSAA Community
Anyone suffering from clinical depression & ms ?
51 Replies
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Boy can I relate to your post!
FWIW, I was dx in 1994 (started Avonex in 1998) and started taking Effexor XR 2001 as I was dx with "agitated depression" (depression with anxiety disorder).
I have found that Effexor has helped me cope (some days are better than others). But, this global pandemic has me "lower than low" on some days as it's hard to cope with this much despair globally.
But, we are Mighty Strong! 
in reply to DM0329
Was on Tysabri now Gilenya . Covid is screwing with our heads ! I also suffer from anxiety . Do you wonder how much stuff you can deal with ? I do .
DM0329 in reply to
Yep; but it is what it is. After dealing with this MonSter for 26+ years (Avonex 23+ years), I know how lucky/blessed I am.
But, no matter what, MS stinks! Some days are better than others, but I always say we're Mighty Strong! 
#Strong 💪🏋️♀️ ♥️🌹
DM0329 - did your doctor ever consider whether your depression and anxiety were being caused by your Avonex as they are a common side effect from the interferon drugs used for treating MS? Depression is listed as a side effect in the patient info leaflets - on this Avonex info sheet it's even the first side effect listed! I was on Rebif for a bit under a year and it caused me to become very depressed. Within 10 days of stopping Rebif my depression had lifted (and I was not on any antidepressants). Here's a link to just one of the articles on this topic.
ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articl...
Also, if you ever consider stopping the Effexor you need to be aware that some people can never get off it - "discontinuation syndrome" is the evasive term that doctors like to use now but it's basically a physical withdrawal problem which means that some people to have to take their anti-depressant for the rest of their lives. The same problem has been found with a lot of other anti-depressants.
in reply to Frances_B
Am not on any of the meds you talk if . Was on tysabri but now on gilenya
Frances_B in reply to
pandapandaj - I realise you're not on any of the interferons - my comment was meant for DM0329 - which is why I started it off with their user name.
When you are very depressed one strategy, which is not necessarily a good one long term, is to simply put one foot in front of the other and get through one day at a time. It doesn't "fix" the problem of depression, but it can keep you going until you can turn a corner into more positive territory. And by that I don't meant turning into one of those nightmare people who is always telling others to "be positive". The others here who have posted responses are also 100% right - if you are trying to deal with suicidal thoughts then you need to seek further professional help.
in reply to Frances_B
I’ve tried that put waiting for appointment
Jesmcd2CommunityAmbassador
Hi Hidden please if you find yourself thinking suicidal ideation... Call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at
1-800-273-8255!!!!
I was definitely depressed and had suicidal tendencies. Changing the diet and Ann Boroch's book "Healing Multiple Sclerosis" got me out of it.
There are multiple posts about depression and suicidal tendencies on this blog. Do a search. There is also a suicide hotline - I don't have the number, but it's all over this blog (you can search greaterexp 's replies or private-message her - she has the number). By tomorrow, you will have a ton of responses and help.
Of course, see a psychologist/psychiatrist.
Be strong and don't give in!
I love this Royce's post, read it - healthunlocked.com/mymsaa/p...
And tell us about yourself when you have a chance.
Jesmcd2CommunityAmbassador
I suffer from depression and anxiety also. Sometimes it's not easy. Then add on covid? Are you kidding me?🙁🤣 It can be overwhelming, I know. Try playing a game to take your mind off it?
My Dr also told me. Only a half hour of news a day. Works for me! 🤗💕🌠
I'm sorry you are feeling this low. So many here deal with depression and anxiety, so you are in good company with people who understand.
I do hope you are in counseling and are being treated for depression. Please let you doctors know how much you are struggling. With so many options for medications and therapies, we should never have to suffer with anxiety or depression for long. Please let us know how you are doing.
in reply to greaterexp
On duloxetine at max dose so doc won’t increase . On list to see mental health Services. Waiting ....
Was on Prozac (fluoxetine) but body got too used to it and it stopped working .
greaterexp in reply to
I’m so glad you are actively working on getting new meds and whatever else you need.
bxrmom in reply to
Have been there with meds...max dose and they stop working. I am currently on duloxetine as well after my last med stopped working. Took it awhile for it to kick in, but it finally did. I am sure there is something else your dr can switch you to. Sometimes it trial an error 
Hopefully you can get in to see someone and they can help you.
Hi Hidden , thank for reaching out and sharing these difficult thoughts and feelings. It's important to know that you are not alone in this. You'll find that the community here is incredibly supportive and positive and is a safe place to share what you're going through. If you are experiencing suicidal thoughts, the National Suicide Prevention Hotline that others mentioned can help, especially if you're waiting for mental health services and following up with your doctor. The hotline can be reached at phone 1-800-273-8255, suicidepreventionlifeline.org/. It's great that you are working with your doctor regarding treatment options, there may be a different medication or regimen you can try that can hopefully help to manage the depression symptoms. Here is some more information about MS and depression that may help, mymsaa.org/ms-information/s.... Please continue to work with your doctor/therapist and medical team for your symptoms, and reach out for support as needed. Take care, Angel, MSAA Client Services Specialist
I can totally relate! Make a safety action plan for yourself, and a "kit" of self-care ideas that you can look up as needed.
Let me know if you need ideas, I have a helpful article that lists tools to use.
Hugs to you, and keep reaching out and asking for help! Do you have a therapist that you can talk to at least weekly?
in reply to
At this stage I’d appreciate any ideas cos I think I’m loosing grip on reality
in reply to
meditation, deep breathing, hot bath (if safe), hobbies you enjoy, like reading, arts, etc, listen to upbeat or spiritual music, exercise (any), call a friend, light candles, go outside, pray, make gratitude list, reach out for professional health...hope that provides some ideas? ((hugs))
in reply to
Thank you for these ideas .
I couldn’t help you. Only we live once. Music helps us. Writing help us. I have also MS since 1998. I don’t think on MS . I have a normal live. But sometimes I think on my next MR . I would like that it is as the anterior. Without lessions.
Be happy ,
Yes, I can totally identify with what you are feeling, and I am sorry that you are having to deal with this. Please continue to work with and communicate openly with your Dr's. I've known I have MS for 39 years, and I've dealt with anxiety and depression for longer than that. I've tried every medication and therapy my Dr's have offered...Years ago, when I was able to, I tried running/walking...I got up to 10 miles a day...every day, after working all day...helped some. I was a vegetarian for a couple of years...didn't help much. I worked out at the gym, got in great shape for a few years, sat in front of a light box for 1 hour each day for SAD ( Seasonal Affectiveness Disorder) and tried at least half a dozen prescription meds.
I am stable now, after many failures with horrible side effects. I have been taking Effexor XR for 30+ years, the first 20 or so with Elavil. The combination worked, and I was able to work, function, and live. I have been taking 150 mgs. twice a day for the past 15+ years, no more Elavil.
The dosage had to be increased over the years, as my body changed and got used to it. But, I don't have the extreme highs and lows, and when I feel
low, I do something physical that I LIKE to do..I garden, dig holes, plant things, prune things, dig up things and plant them somewhere else....get covered in soil and sweat! Forget about everything that bothers me, play with my fur babies, and roll in the dirt with the little dogs! Every morning,
when I get up, usually very early, I go and sit in the swing on my back deck,
and Thank God for another Day. You are important, and my love and prayers are with you. Linda
in reply to leking1
I can’t exercise re legs to weak now and am in wheelchair most of time .
I used to take Prozac (fluoxetine) but like you my body got so used to it it stopped working . On duloxetine now but at max dose and feel like I’m loosing my battle to want to be alive often .
Thank you for your reply . Have got appointment to see therapist / psychiatrist so holding for that but don’t think my meds situations going to change which makes me self harm and brings up suicidal ideation.
leking1 in reply to
I am so glad you have an appt. to see a therapist. Be very honest/open
when you see her/him. I can't walk much now, either, and I live alone, so I have issues to deal with, too. You are in my thoughts and prayers, and if I can help in any way, or if you just need to vent, please just let me know. Linda
in reply to leking1
I live alone too . Thanks for offer .
I've been diagnosed since1986. Are you taking anything for depression? I take Citlopram (generic for Celexa) to help. Depression and MS are a common relationsip (best friends?) I've read.
Used to take Prozac (fluoxetine) but stopped working at max dose so now take duloxetine at max . It ain’t enough but doc won’t increase cos also take imipramine which takes me over limit
Hi Hidden ☺️ how are you doing today? What kind of hobbies do you have? 🤗💕🌠
in reply to Jesmcd2
Greeting card making .
Best day in last 5 that’s for sure . Self harmed yesterday but putting lists together of things to do to get past urge and ride it out hopefully . Suicidal ideation calmed down at last .
Hope youre doing well too x
Dear pandapandaj,
This is my tale of woe. Maybe it will help. Diagnosed in 2000. Depression and anxiety had already been strong in my life. I started psych meds long before MS meds.
Took Betaseron forever. Kept telling dr. I was super depressed, but was coping so oh well. Took Effexor for a long time, but eventually got off all the psych meds as a personal experiment, after which I got way depressed, delusional. Got back on the psych meds, 40 mg fluoxetine and some olanzapine at various doses through the years. Got off Betaseron when my insurance allotment became only for Rebif. Miraculously, Rebif was like a miracle drug regarding my chronic depression. For my individual body at that time and currently. I'll probably be taking 40 mg fluoxetine until I die.
Point of my story? I hate needles but am stuck with this game. I hope you are willing to experiment to find what works for you. Please don't give up, and seek help from your higher power, because that's the only not awful answer. I'm actually pretty much ok now, just have a lot of bruises and wounded self-pride.
I will pray for you, 🐼. All this stuff changes every day. Meditation and prayer helps me. I hope that it will help you. Depression is something to fear, undoubtedly. Please just remember that you're not alone. Faith hope and love, dear one.
in reply to SaltyGirl
Thank you for sharing your story . Good luck to you .
Yes. I have had a struggle with these two for a few years now. MS was dx in 2015 at age 62, the depression has plagued me for 30+ years. First, I suggest to be sure to talk w your Dr about it, and get any meds adjusted as necessary. When I was dx, the Dr said the only med I should consider was Copaxone because it did not aggravate depression and all the others did. I don't know if there are more now, but be sure to check all the cautions on your MS medicin. Second, find a therapist or someone to speak with, and determine if your depression meds need to be adjusted. After a while a particular one may stop working for you, and you may need a change in dosage or med. Third, force yourself (if you are able) to put on your mask and get outside for a walk, or whatever. Fresh air, and exercise are good. Otherwise, do Youtube yoga for MS, or chair yoga or whatever you are capable of doing. Now, ....my confession...I know that these are the things to do. I fail horribly at #3, even though I knowit really works! I always feel 10000% better when I have left the house for a bit, even if I only walk to the corner and back. But, I will spend up to 6-7 days sitting in my recliner listening to a book or reading a book only getting up to go potty or eat some quick junk food -I haven'thad a decent meal in about a month. I have fallen off all of my meds including my MS meds and depression meds, which only aggravate the situation. I have figured out 2 of my preferred methods of ending it all. But, I also have 2 grandchildren who Skype/Facetime me each week, that bring me untold joy and smiles for 24-36 hours. I have not been able to physically be with them for a year, and it depresses me as well. I miss human touch. My house is a messy disaster and getting to the point of being dirty as well. But, I have just found out I may be getting compny in a week, and I have found some energy to get ready. I suggest you look for the things that can make you happy, or motivate you, grab on and hang on to them. We WILL get through this. Please know that you are not alone even though it feels as though you are. Keep reaching out here and to your Dr s for the help and encouragement that you need. WE ARE MS WARRIORS!!!!Sending love, hugs and prayers.....🧡🧡🧡🤗
in reply to Sabs2
Thank you for sharing and your honesty . It’s greatly appreciated . I live in a bit of a tip too and limited mobility makes it harder to improve this . I wish you good luck and enjoy your company .
I suffered from deression and anxiety as a young child. As an adult, it got worse with suicidal ideation, and I was put on Prozac and I got better, but then it went into 25 years of the worst migraine pain ever. After I had a full hysterectomy the migraines got worse. Then I was dx’ed with MS and the migraine got better but the depression got worse. I have always thought that depression and migraines were somehow linked and I guess you can throw MS into that mix. You need to get yourself referred to a psychiatrist for meds, as well as to a psychologist or another kind of mental health professional for counseling. One will not work without the other. It’s very possible that finding the right medicine will be a process of trial and error until they determine the neurotransmitter that’s out of whack. If you experience suicidal iideation call your dr immediately or the National Suicide Hotline or 911 and get to a hospital. Depression can also be hereditary. Good luck!
in reply to Sukie427
Thank you for sharing this info
I'm sorry you have to deal with depression. I know it feels like it's sucking the life right out of you but it really isn't. A lot of us here know what you are going through so don't hesitate to reach out here to any of us through a post or private message, we are here for each other. Prayers going up for you.
in reply to hairbrain4
Thank you
in reply to hairbrain4
Can you tell me how you private message ? Or is it just using the reply button
in reply to
Press your home button first then press the bubble icon to the right
in reply to
But you can’t pick community or person . So how is that private . I might be missing something as this new to me. Any pointers
hairbrain4 in reply to
Click on the two circles next the word Chat.
Jesmcd2CommunityAmbassador
You will find a ton of love and caring here Hidden as you can see!☺️ Just remember, no one can take the place of your Dr.! So please listen to them always!
But we are here to listen to you! MS isn't easy. Then you add on all the other stuff? Some days you can knock me down with a feather. 🙁 The people here, they understand that. Will lift you up, make you laugh, or just let you be angry! It's ok! We get it! So Lil 🐼 you have a new family! 🤗💕🌠
in reply to Jesmcd2
Appreciate you reaching out to me . 😏🐼
Me too, was diagnosed with depression years ago and suppose I still am, but found if possible that movement helped a lot. Used to pretend dance with my cane, my walker, in my wheelchair even. Drugs made MS worse so refused all that. Stopped any drugs with depression side effects like Avonex. Now carefully read possible side effects of all drugs. Any hint of depression I won't take it. Talking to strangers via hotlines helped. A suicide hotline not for MS but for paralysed veterans. Remembering everything is relative. It could be worse. Doing something nice for someone else is one of the best ways to help yourself feel better. If it's a charitable donation, an email, an encouraging word to someone, a stranger, on Twitter or Instagram or wherever, that helps. Altruism for the best of selfish reasons, keeping yourself safe from the darkness. Music: listen to music that makes you feel good. Music is the universal language of the stars, of love and life. Releasing anger: if you can throw something or break something (balls, dishes, etc) without hurting yourself or anyone else, go for it. Painting: if you can afford it, buy some paints and brushes and paper on line and get out the fear and anger like that. Or use crayons & colouring books. You can download colouring books on line these days. Movies: watch movies you love that make you happy. Old comedies like 'Harvey' or I dunno, everyone's taste is different, that makes me feel better. Best of luck.
in reply to ekelks
Thanks for all the suggestions . The music & art I do .
I didn’t do either of these when badly depressed cos was frightened it would take enjoyment out of it for when I feel bit better . Then thought I’m never gonna feel much diff so just got on with it . Music took some doing to find music that would not make me cry (Adele) or more depressed (Leonard Cohen) . So went searching thru my older stuff to find Tony Christie and Al Jolson. (My decd father loved Jolson and so do I) . I’m 48 use crutches and a wheelchair . Do you still have a DMT now ? I had Betaferon (useless) then tysabri (risk of getting brain disease got too high) and now on Gilenya.
I’m isolating too and have 3 carers to help me thru the day . Who only recently started precautions with gloves masks etc .
Hasn’t been too bad last couple of days until mega horrific depersonalisation & derealisation yesterday . Thought I was dying literally. But found a good friend who supported me thru the wee hrs so didn’t harm myself in any way which was a minor miracle .
Thank you for all tips . I wish you luck .
ekelks in reply to
Ooh, jumped away, lost everything I wrote Cheers, I do feel better now. I'm 61, & truly believe time helps you adjust. You're still in shock. Music that makes you cry like Adele not the best idea, Leonard Cohen, so sad yet beautiful. Chopin makes me cry awfully but is so lovely. Strike a balance. One day you'll find it. I love listening to music from the 20s and 30s too. Torch songs. Mostly sad, men leaving women, you know, but they survive, these women. I take Copaxone, it doesn't cause depression and so long as you don't inject a muscle by accident (avoid the arms no matter what) it's not terribly painful. It will keep you from getting worse, which should help alleviate the dread you may be feeling. Self-harm: I used to cut myself too, years before MS. Grew out of that too. I'm glad you have a friend to help. Best of luck.
in reply to ekelks
Thanks again and can I just say I use a few wellness type apps for people with all sorts of physical and mental problems but this is the first time I’ve spoken to someone my age - 48 , order so good on you for having your say and helping others too .
Good luck 😌
Dont let doctors over you medicate you I had quite a time with it doctors will change a med but not discontinue the old ones normally any pills they change
I was diagnosed with clinical depression when I was 31. (Had it since a child but never said anything.) Diagnosed with MS at 55. Am now 61.
When I got that low last year I called a therapist. Best thing I ever did.
Best of luck to you.
depression/anxiety/ms seem to go together...not that it will make YOU feel better at all! Like others have shared, I had depression (especially) and anxiety before MS. MS amps them up for sure!
I'm glad you are reaching out for help, and being so transparent. That's really the first steps to feeling better. I think the tinge of sadness is still there (for me), as MS reminds of our losses daily, but it doesn't have to hurt so much, and feel hopeless!
Keep reaching out, and making connections! We're all here to support each other!
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