Woke up, got out of bed, took my morning Tecfidera. Made a phone call, just said no gym today see you Sunday and went back to bed until 11 am. I am not actually writing this until 3 pm,
I had such big plans for today. I had to mop the kitchen floor, sweep the house and eat. Out of all that the only thing that was done is eat, oh and watch television. Maybe I will do the rest tomorrow or the next day, you never know your luck in a big city.
I am not angry with myself or disappointed. After 20 years I know that just because I had plans that does not mean they will actually happen. I can walk out the front door and my bladder can politely remind me that I did not do something before I left the house. I can take two steps to the mail box and realise that the mail can wait until later. Relapsing-Remitting ms has a habit of having its own agenda, and it is best that I pay attention and be flexible. There is not much that is critical, "YES" taking my Disease Modifying Therapy (DMT) is critical. Not because it is curing me, more like a subtle reminder that yes there is something wrong with me, and I should remain aware of it. Of course, I can accept the consequences, and let me assure "YOU" that there are consequences.
"YOU" my friend are new to this, or perhaps "YOU" have forgotten, but RRms is part of your life now. Some fight it and call it a monster. I like to think of it as Gollum from Lord of the Rings. Quite unpleasant, sneaky and will stab "YOU" in the back if given the chance. Do not give it a chance, learn this disease, learn your body and its reactions to it. Give yourself every opportunity to succeed. Change the finish line if "YOU" have to. Make your life one of the successes, not failures. Running, I never liked that so much. So I cant no biggie. Cutting things, well I won't because it is safer if I do not. Some say excuses are being made. I am sure that "YOU" can find better ways to describe this. Set yourself up for success. It is a very long path that we have to travel, carrying a very heavy weight.
There is no need to make it any harder on yourself. Ease up on yourself. Take it slower and ignore the failures, they are not important, "YOU" have just not thought of a better way to do it yet. Maybe the floor does not really need to be swept?
Royce
thinking, thinking just thinking
