Sometimes I get scared

[RoyceNewton]

msERS, not often just sometimes, and for absolutely no reason why. I guess if I knew the reason why I might actually be able to do something about it.

Maybe it is the total uncertainty of this illness, maybe it's something more practical.? Will I survive summer, can I go outside tomorrow?

There are a lot of uncertainties, a lot of variables, a lot of what ifs. Let's be honest the way people drive around here I could just as likely be in a car accident. Life is full of unplanned and unexpected events. ms is just another one of them.

But I do have a weapon, a defence. I can make a choice, I still have my free will and I am going to use it. I am going to learn so much about my illness, stay healthy in all possible ways, build some massive reserves of mental strength.

I am just going to do. Do everything imaginable to make fortress Royce a challenge for ms, ever to attack and mess with. I am going to do the things that ms wants me to ignore. I am going to wear protective underwear, I am going to take my Disease Modifying Therapy (DMT) and all the million other things that make me stronger. I do NOT have to be a victim, a target for ms mischievousness.

I CAN I WILL and I am going to DO this ms. I will be here a long time and ms has insisted on travelling with me, but I do not have to carry it on my back. I can take some control. A little at first then as the years go by maybe more and more. I know ms will keep stealing from me, that is what it does, but I know. I am going to admit my fears. Understand them and do everything I can to keep them at arm's length for as long and as much as I can.

I do not need to suffer in silence, I still have a voice and within me is a will to stand tall. I have a feeling within YOU is that same will, YOU just need to find it and embrace it.

It is okay to be scared, to have fear, but YOU know within YOU, that YOU can prevail. ms takes it never gives but always remember your Relapsing Remitting ms is a doable disease and this is something that YOU CAN DO.

Royce

it is okay to be scared sometimes, I guess, but I am me and I am like bamboo strong and flexible

[Jesmcd2 CommunityAmbassador]

I get scared when ppl ignore there MS! RoyceNewton and when they don't give it a A Name! It has a NAME!

IT'S CALLED MULTIPLE SCLEROSIS! We have it! And Ppl need to know the name!

The more people know the NAME and WHAT MS is the more they KNOW!

The more they know, the more they get HELP!

And The more money is made to find a CURE!

IT'S CALLED MULTIPLE SCLEROSIS!

Deal with it!

😊🤗💕

J🌠

[RoyceNewton in reply to Jesmcd2]

Good Point

[goatgal]

RoyceNewton The most difficult part of MS for me is the uncertainty. I've always been able to set a course and move toward it, and have demonstrated a high threshold for physical pain. I also react calmly in an emergency, problem solving and working my way through. But MS has challenged all my assumptions about who I am, who I want to be, and how I want to live my life. I've never feared the unknown, confident that I could understand most anything...but now, I stick close to home, fearful of traveling alone because I know what happens to my mind when it is overwhelmed with data. It shuts down. It's been my companion all these many decades and now when I am in a situation where I need it, it isn't available. Shel Silverstein captured this perfectly in a poem called WHATIF? Ay de mi! Those nighttime what ifs!!!!

[RoyceNewton in reply to goatgal]

never heard of it but I will look it up

[goatgal in reply to RoyceNewton]

RoyceNewton Shel Silverstein pubished in Playboy but also wrote marvelously subversive and irreverent children's poetry which every child should be introduced to! WHATIF is in a collection called Where the Sidewalk Ends.

[RoyceNewton in reply to goatgal]

thanks