Cripe. We are having so much trouble with our youngest son (now 19). He is physically disabled but that's not the issue. His biggest disability is his crappy attitude and smoking. He's moving out in May with a friend (who claims he's going to drive him everywhere he needs to go. That won't last long, I'm betting.)
My husband and I can't wait for him to go. We feel it'll be a huge wake-up call and he will find out how much we have had to do for him at home. Stress is the biggest aggravator of my MS and right as I sit here, my neck muscles are like concrete. D. has asked if things don't work out with his friend if he can come home. We have told him he MUST quit smoking or he will not be allowed back. We were going to help him get a car (and all the adjustments done to it so he could drive) but then he started the smoking and how on earth would a 1-armed kid (and it's only 12" long) smoke and drive??? So we said, tough luck, and no car.
Sorry, I'm just venting. So frustrated...
Written by
mrsmike9
To view profiles and participate in discussions please or .
mrsmike9 he needs teaching a lesson and this may be the way to do it. Have no regrets because you have shown him love for 19 years, and I am sure he will realise what a gift you are once he is on his own. Let us know how he goes on, blessings Jimeka 🦋 🤗
Jesmcd2 and jimeka are exactly right about sticking to your guns. If not things will never end. Listen to a voice of experience.
As far as stress goes nothing aggravates my ms worse than stress and nothing aggravates my stress more than my daughter so I know what your talking about. And she’s 46 years old. So if you don’t show them from the start it only gets worse.
Sorry you are dealing with so much stress mrsmike9 ! High levels of stress from a toxic work environment are what caused me to have to retire early. Stress increases my symptoms horribly.
He definitely needs teaching a lesson im afraid otherwise he is going to get worse and become even more selfish. I'm sorry u have to go through all this mrsmike9 xxxx
Vent all you need to! Sorry for all that stress. We love our kids but sometimes we just have to cut them loose so they can see that it can be hard out on their own. When they are handicapped it is even harder.
I have a 32 year old physically and mentally handicapped daughter. She lives in an apartment, with her roommate, and they are cared for by 3 eight hour shifts, of care givers. They bath, feed, change her briefs, keep the apartment clean and take them wherever they need or want to go, in a wheelchair accessible van provided by the Provider agency. She is on a state/federal program called the Waivers or Medicaid Waivers program. Each state gets money from the government for this and can choose to use it in different ways, some states even use it for the elderly who need care.
Only a mother knows what is right in her families situation. I personally agree completely with you. Stay firm to what you and your husband decide and always no matter what support each other...oh and never let them see you sweat. You got this.
This is the story since the beginning of time, isn't it? Parents have to allow their kids to fail sometimes to help the kids mature, but don't we all wish they'd just take our word for it? (I remember often telling my kids that they could choose to learn things the hard way, or they could learn from our instruction, which would be much easier.) I hope you and your husband are in agreement about the plan and how you will handle things if your son's experiments in adulthood don't go as planned. Kids sure seem to know how to "divide and conquer."
I'll be praying for a peaceful home very soon. This stress can't be good for any of you.
I am very strong in not changing my mind, and 99% of the time my husband is right there with me. D and I never did bond very well. He was 5 1/2 when we got him from Russia and all his (non-caring) caregivers were women so I understood his reluctance to get close to me. I could tell when he'd gotten past that when he hugged me with his little arm! But he was much younger then and now, at 19, "knows everything". Well, he will see how little he knows when he moves out! He does have a Medicaid Waver, which is helpful as the main thing he has trouble the most is showering. (You try washing your hair with your elbow. That's how long his arm is.) He also gets SSI which is good as he can't get your "normal" teenage job. He's in his first year of college (computer science) upon which he should have no trouble working.
mrsmike9buffering......you are one of my hero's and thank you for sharing.WOw and what guts.The word discipline is from the word disciple(as in Christ) teaching out of love.This to me is one of those loving example to try to spare someone from themselves and protecting your own lives...I am one os those that cold turkey'd it on a wednes in 1980.I didn't know that we are carriers of genetic Alpha 1 which triggers later in life usually.My brother died of it and yes triggered by smoking/smokers/ a combo.If i hadn't quit, id be worse truly if not dead if i hadn't quit all the things at that time.Even lately ive looked at things/people/stress environment and made changes.One day I went to my mom and dad and said I'm soo sorry, and accepted and grateful it surely was.I hope this for parents,people....until i was on my own, lived real life with no backing, than i was humbled and taught and learned...sending love your way...
Content on HealthUnlocked does not replace the relationship between you and doctors or other healthcare professionals nor the advice you receive from them.
Never delay seeking advice or dialling emergency services because of something that you have read on HealthUnlocked.
As if I don't have enough stress in my life...
Stress Test Anyone?
Stressful Day & Heightened symptoms 
