HAVING A MISERABLE TIME AND JUST NEED TO VENT

[Sukie427]

Sorry to be a buzzkill, but I have just been having a miserable time of things. I have that miserable burning nerve pain behind my left knee again, but now it's going up my thigh and down my leg. It's like someone heats up an electric cattle prod, sticks it beneath the skin, and turns it on. I can't do anything but scream and fall like a rock. I haven't found anything that helps it with the exception of some cannabis cream that only lasts a couple of hours and now won't really work at all. Last week my husband and I went to see a couple of concerts in Las Vegas, and on our second of three nights there I lost my balance and fell in the hotel bathroom and slammed my side into the bathtub, breaking a dorsal rib and badly bruising another. That killed the trip and the ride home was a miserable 5 hour drive. My whole right side is swollen and it feels as if someone is putting crushed glass under my skin. My muscles began to spasm during religious services and the pain was so horrible I thought I was going to pass out. I couldn't speak from the pain and my husband didn't notice although he was sitting right next to me. Our sons came out for the Super Bowl the day after we got home. They went hiking in the morning so I stayed home, of course, as with the MS my walking is terrible anyway, let alone with a broken rib. I was also having stomach pain which I get periodically because the meds make me constipated. The next thing I know is that my husband and my sister-in-law walk in the house with my sons (I didn't even know they were going since neither can hike) after having had breakfast all together and she announces that there are two options for the rest of the day: either walk around the tourist shops uptown and at another outdoor shopping area or go to a "salt spa" with my oldest son and his wife. Obviously I couldn't go shopping so I went with my oldest son and daughter-in-law, as I apparently had no say in the matter. I later learned that they had not only gone out to breakfast without me, but other places that my sister-in-law wanted to go as well where it was impossible for me to go. She has no kids, so she apparently decided to take over mine, and they were only here from Friday to Monday morning and they live across the country and I don't get to see them nearly as often as I would like. So I asked my husband who had made her in charge and he said these plans had been made a long time ago. So I said if that were true, didn't anyone think of making an accommodation for me since I had broken a rib and now couldn't go? I did speak to my boys and they were really good about it but I feel like absolutely beating my sister-in-law to a pulp. And, of course, today my husband started with me about why I still can't do things even though my left leg feels like it's on fire and my back and right side feel as if they are full of broken glass and my stomach hurts, and we had a big argument. It's been so horrible that I went in the bedroom, slammed the door, and just cried, which I never do. It seems that the only ones left with any compassion are my dogs. We just rescued a third pit bull. He is about 9 years old and has known very little human kindness in his life. Someone used him for target practice and he still carries a .22 slug in his chest. He had a broken right hind leg and some butcher tried to fix it, but he walks dragging his leg. We also found out that he has Stage III kidney disease and will only be around for about another year. He is very attention-starved and clingy, but this will be the best year he has ever had in his whole short life. He is receiving the best care possible and lots and lots of love. Right now I guess I feel as if I need that, too, so I am just spending the rest of my day with him.

[Fancy1959]

Sukie427,it's Fancy1959. I think if anyone has a right to vent over for treatment they received for their MS needs not met I believe it would be you. Gosh what a horrible week you have had. I wish I was closer so I could come hang out with you and tell your sister-in-law and your husband to go kiss you know what. Your husband of all people should understand the pain, anxiety, and the issues you are going through with your MS. I would set my brother down or your husband's brother down and explain to him that you need not to have his wife running the show when you are the one that is ill and your sons are the one that must tow her line. Perhaps you could bring along those small pamphlets you get at your neurologist office and tell them it would be helpful to you to if they could read up on your MS before they try to set an agenda for you and your MS.

To put it mildly you are much kinder than I am Sue. Because I would not put up with such tactics especially not from my husband and sister-in-law. For your husband to be so insensitive to you, if it were me, I know I would be furious. I know I am outraged against him for you. To tell you why can't you simply go with them with the leg pain, with you experiencing a feeling of broken glass in your side, and your stomach pains is absolutely ridiculous. The next time he was Ill with anything and wanted me to do anything for him, I would sure make it a point to do the same thing to him.

I simply would windup refusing to do what they said and if they got argumentative about it I would pretty much just tell them all off and then go lock myself in the bathroom for a good long cry! That is unless you have the foresight to invite me and then I could tell them off for you and you and I could go up and quietly keep each other company, or listen to music or watch a movie, etc. Things that would be much more in line with your disability.💕😉 Please take care until we speak again. I'm sending prayers and hugs your way. Prayers that the pain from your ribs and legs become much more manageable. And hugs for the comfort and support your lacking from home.

[Royjr]

Get it off your chest Sukie427, that’s why GOD gave us two ears and one mouth. To listen and not talk. Hope you feel better.

[jimeka]

Sukie427 what can I say, first of all a big hug, 🤗 but not one that hurts. Broken ribs hurt, and only time will heal. As for that seething hot pain, I get it down my left arm and up into my left face cheek, the way I describe it, it's as though someone is putting a red hot poker through my shoulder down my arm. Usually I just grin and bare it but my hubby saw a different side of me the other day. There is only so much one can bear. My neurologist is saying mine is caused by a trapped nerve, so maybe you have a trapped nerve in your back. I am currently waiting for a MRI of my neck to see, so I would see your doctor. I have come to the conclusion that ms is a life of doctors, pain and pills. As to my northern light experience. This should hopefully make you smile.

We have just been away to Wales on a college reunion. After a night of reminiscing I went to bed feeling very tired. It was very windy outside. My husband had closed the very Victorian type curtains, and as soon as the lights were out my hubby was fast asleep. Well I could not understand what was going on, I had my own private northern lights experience in my own hotel bedroom, it was amazing. When I worked out what was happening, I looked out of the window, and there were fairy Christmas lights hung blowing in the wind, still lit up, causing the show. I suddenly realised that if I didn't close the curtains properly I would be awake all night.

Anyway Sue, sister in laws they are a rare breed. One of mine rang while we were away and her next door neighbour wanted 3 bags of corn, please could we arrange it. What, we were a 4 hour drive away, and if he was so desperate, buy it somewhere else. I wouldn't mind, we only go away once a year and this was it.

Hoping and praying that you can resolve things with your hubby, pleased that you have understanding sons. Take care of those ribs, venting here gets it out of your system, we all here understand. Take care, God bless Jimeka 🦋 🌈 💐 🍫

[Qt314grl]

That’s awful and I’m pretty sure is the very definition of insult to injury.

One of my biggest fears is “holding back” my family and friends from doing the activities they want to do because I can’t keep up. Perhaps next visit you can work together to plan ahead of time some activities both with and without you. There has go to be middle ground, yes?

As for the dog, that’s amazing of you guys to take in a sick and elderly dog. I’m glad he gets to experience love in his last months on earth. I’m sure he will pay you back with that amazing unconditional dog love!

[janetb1968]

Oh bless u hun 😕😕😕😕 I think I would've thrown a big tantrum for the lack of compassion and just basic common sense and understanding xxxx As if broken ribs is not enough? 😯😯😯😯😯 if I could give u a big hug and not hurt u all the way from snowy England i would ❄❄❄❄ and I would also get u the biggest bar of Cadburys Dairy Milk 🍫🍫🍫🍫 xxxxx

[CalfeeChick CommunityAmbassador]

Sukie427 I am so sorry you are going through all that. I think you adopting the new doggie will be very good for you both. Sound like you both need to share some love and gentle hugs right now. God bless you for adopting a pet with such needs that would drive other people away. As far as the rest is concerned, I can relate with my own daughters now distancing themselves from me.(They are both medical professionals, which I don't talk about them much.) I have to let it go and take care of me! Blessings for you! Lynn

[bavery207]

Sukie427 One of the frustrating things about this site is that I can only read/listen, not "fix" things. But we are good listeners here so vent away. If ever anything needed fixing it would be the way you were treated. Both your husband and sister-in-law need some education!

[kris1973]

Sukie427 I am so sorry you are going thru this. Injuries, stress & emotions make matters so much worse for us! I have held back from letting people have it way too many times.

I finally realized I am not in tune with my emotions so I how can I expect family members to understand? I started forwarding email articles to my husband and daughters to help them understand my feelings on being left out, etc. it worked. They had no idea. I now remind them that it’s been a while since I have been out of the house and they help plan when would be the best time for me to go with depending on the time of day, location, etc. .

I have yet to try this with my parents but definitely have been thinking about it - just haven’t got that far. Take care -Kris

[LissaH]

Sukie427

I'm so sorry to read your story and you have every right to vent, and I'm glad you did. You needed to get that out. I pray that things will get better for you and your family will try to include you next time since you are apart of that family and you have a voice. Wow that is amazing that you and your family have such a kind heart to take in your newest member of your family. Your love and understand will go a long way with him and I know these last days of his life will be happy and full of love. God bless and best of luck. Praying for a fast healing, and recover.

Lj

[kdali]

I'm so sorry that you are having a miserable time. Yes, family can be clueless and ask stupid questions or have ridiculous expectations. I find irony in your rescue; both of you have been through "target practice" and need a lot of love right now. I hope you get some rest and relief soon 😘

[SometimesCrazy]

I believe we have the same sister in law. I totally get your anger and frustration. And for me, at least, it gets all balled up and I don't know where to throw that ball. Xxoo