Couple weeks ago I got an email from family that said I am a burden on my family and to find a new family. I feel horrible. I have never asked for their help at all!!! My Dad offered me to live with him and he is upset about what the family said. I'm very lonely and don't have much support very very minimum. I do have a counselor and she said I have ptsd from my childhood. I'm struggling to work through that. Then my relapse a couple weeks ago I can't seem to get back on track. I applied for help at MS Society and MS Foundation. No help received. I feel like a henderance upon my family and friends . What little friends I have out of state!!! I have to live in Florida cuz that's what my dad wants. I have lost everything!!!!! My kids are grown and walk all over me. Don't know where I went sooo wrong!!!??? It's sooo hard to live on this earth with MS. I was doinggreat until I had a pulmonary embolism in May of 2012. Then couple months later diagnosed with progressive MS and it's wearing me down financially physically and emotionally!!!!
I have disability Medicare and Medicaid insurance. Guess I shouldn't have had any copays for the last 2 years. I'm getting temporary home health care thank God. I need regular home health care all year round. I didn't know how the system works. I worked hard my whole life. I was a devoted and good mother to my children. Everything has been crazy since 2012. I'm sooo emotional and just want to be treated with respect dignity and love and support when possible. I don't normally reach out to anyone. I suffer alone in silence. When I cry I hide. No one likes when I cry. My Dad is an alcoholic and so is my brother. I don't like drinking alcohol. My mother had MS and passed away in her mid 50s. Don't know a lot cuz she disappeared when I was 17 years old. We found out she died over the internet. I'm not sure why my parents had us!!!!! I'm sooo full of pain and just exhausted from life. I'm hating myself more and more. I actually reached out for help NOW I feel like a bigger burden on society.
I'm sorry for saying sooo much. I literally can't handle anymore. I only asked for help one time from MS Society or MS Foundation and nowI feel worse.
Thank you for listening to me. I don't know where else to go. I can hardly get around now. I can't afford to pay anyone to help me. I'm desperate!!! Mostly for unconditional love and support!!! I used to be an advocate against violence and worked in a domestic violence shelter. Now I can't work the computer like I used to be able to and can't get the help I need. I'm very discouraged and sad. I want my healthy life back when I was strong!!!!!