I just read this:
"The human spirit can endure in sickness but who can survive a crushed spirit.?"
It made me think of the many references we have had recently to our depression, anxiety, and sadness. These things seems much more dangerous to me than our MS. I pray for each of us, as we go through this life and MS changes or doesn't change, that our human spirit endures. Shining brightly for us, our families, and our world.
Karen-x there should be more to that sentence. Because you can survive it just takes work and the will power to do it! Depression, anxiety, and sadness are very very real to so many ppl. And not something I take lightly, cause l have it and always will. My "head" dr told me that my brain just short circuited. And the neurons just don't connect anymore. Or something like that.
Its a hard thing to admit for ppl, there has always been a stigma attached to it. I feel ppl need to speak out and get the help they need. 💓 As it can be controlled. But,. As my Dr tells me, there are days that arnt so good. And that's ok to. ☺
Jes🎄
Thank you for your post. Sometimes it's so difficult to remain upbeat. This has certainly been one of those weeks for me. Stress trying to get a RX refilled, having to have hubby drive me 20 mile round-trip twice to doctors office to get written prescription. Caused stress and legs to go berserk for two days. Legs kind of chilled the next day, had to go to bed. Thank goodness my husband fix dinner that night. Today's better👍😊 now to try and determine if I'm afraid or just anxious about my doctor appointment next Monday at UCSF. Going to get all the results of MRI and nerve conduction test, spinal tap and about pint's worth of blood tests. All of you here keep me encouraged.
Karen-x Hi it's Judi. I've battled bipolar, severe anxiety and an eating disorder since the age of 14, I'm now 52. I feel at many points in my life the human spirits have been crushed. Every day is a struggle for me, then add in MS and other autoimmune diseases,sure takes a toll. Twice in my life I reached a point and tried ending my life. I now know that this isn't the way to deal with things, but it's a constant struggle. I have to two children, 20 and 16, who also have issues. Sometimes I feel my plate is overflowing, but I push myself and now just hope for the best each day. With all the awareness that has been brought out about mental health, people still do not get it. What makes it harder is when your family doesn't understand it. This sometimes leads to a silent struggle. All anyone can do is take care of themselves. With therapy and sometimes medication, those things can help. It never goes away though.😊
Thankyou Karen, appreciated. Blessings Jimeka
Thank you for your post and for the prayers. They are needed and appreciated.
Hi it's momjules. I have ms , diabetes, and heart failure and heRt disease. I just had more heart procedure on dec 5 2016.i had my third blockage at 75 percent and a third stent put in. I have to go back next month as I need more surgery for another blockage.
My ms medicine will stop next month as my financial assistance was denied for 2017. Talk about depression.
I have had enough and don't have the fighting spirit anymore.
It doesn't get better.
Hi Momjules. I'm sorry for all the health issues you are undergoing. I cannot fathom how you feel. May I pray for you?
Momjules l am so sorry for what your going through right now. Please get ahold of MSAA to see what they can do to help.
My MSAA..org
Toll Free Helpline (800) 532-7667. ext. 154
Give them a try you never know.☺
Jes🎄
Yes, and there is MSF Foundation at 954-776-6805 . I don't happen to know if they have an 800 number.
I sure do hope things get better for you. Have you tried contactingThe National Multiple Sclerosis Society or talking to your neurologist about what you can possibly do to make sure you can stay on your MS medication?
Found the number888-MSFOCUS (673-6287)
Hello Thank you for replying to my comments.
The only contact I have had with nmss is too donate money. I've never had a offer of help if any kind. I don't think they have much interest other than donations.
Dear Momjules, I am holding you in the light. My son sent me a talk by a physicist whose experiments demonstrate that human consciousness can affect matter. Here's my interpretation: you are a physical object. I am a conscious human who is sending you messages of love, strength and possibility (the light). I wish you courage and healing.
After I first started having symptoms (in the mid 1970's) but before I was diagnosed I started going to head doctors (as we called them then). I was depressed and thought that I must be crazy because the regular doctors said there was nothing physically wrong with me.
My grand mother, who had lived with mental illness all of her life, told me not to worry, that you could get away with anything if they think your crazy.
Back to my point. I learned a couple of things over those years.
1. The best psychologists are ones who have had some mental issues themselves or a trusted loved one who has had it. They "get it".
2. If I cannot get myself up, on the days my depression has me down, for myself, then get up because my children and husband needed me. Now that only works with occasional mild to moderate depression due to worries, etc., not sure it would work with clinical depression.
Sometimes we just need to give ourselves some slack, those who are saying just get up and move on aren't living with our circumstances. We have MS, a possibly debilitating disease, maybe family issues, money issues and or other health issues. You still need to live but you can take time to think, feel and adjust.
Karen-X, it's Fancy 1959. I'm at a loss for words at this moment. I'm very choked up and trying to focus on a reply that would be suitable for this post you have made. Whoever wrote this was wise beyond their years. It hit the hidden effects that many of us suffer from MS on the head. How can you explain this to your family and friends. They simply don't or can't understand this soul wrenching pain that many of us endure as our bodies start to crumble, unable to do what we ask of it. Oh sure, they see the physical changes, they see the challenges, and they see the effects that MS has on our body, but i wonder if anyone other than the other people in this chat room who are facing the same challenges can see beneath the surface to our spirit? Thank-you Karen for sending out this thought provoking post. Fancy
Momjules, I am so very sorry for all your difficulties. I would carry your troubles for you if I could. Just know tha I truly care. And Fancy, your post really touched me. It is so challenging because family members just don't get it. My husband's side of the family has their Christmas party on the 19th. Everyone will say oh Kelly you look so good, are you sure you have ms? After I broke down and used a wheelchair for the second time! I know they mean well, but it is always the same thing. Sorry, being a downer. Love you all,hang in there and keep fighting. Kelly xxx
Oh Karen, I think you have touched upon a silent nerve here. Depression can be a physical result of MS damage but also a response to the ongoing intertwined difficulties : physical, financial, self esteem, identification, independence. So many of us put on a brave face for the world but behind closed doors we grieve for our losses, feel the financial strain, search for a new meaning to our changed roles and fear for our futures. Often we feel we have to do this alone, sparing loved ones the pain of seeing our anguish, afraid to show 'weakness' or worried that anything less than positive is unacceptable and might drive them away. Some of us may have no one to share our feelings with. This is where these types of forums are invaluable.
I have jogged along as positively as I can for a while, head cheerfully in the sand ostrich stylee then something triggers me - maybe even a minor inability to do a simple task 'normally' or an alarmed/judgemental look from an onlooker and I'm crudely reminded of my reality. Of my inabilities, my 'abnormalities', of what I have become and what I may become in the future. Then comes the frustration, embarrassment, fear and later, sometimes tears.
It's not fair, quite simply ! We are expected to just tuck that emotionally messy mix of ongoing loss, injustice and uncertainty away, accept our 'lot' and carry on with our ever more complicated adaptations, in spite of dwindling energy available to deal with it all. It is no surprise that it breaks out of it's box from time to time. x
Angelite, you are a very eloquent writer. You put things in a way that I can really imagine and feel. Have you ever considered writing a book, article for an MS magazine, etc???
Eloquent, me ? ! ? Wow, thank you, now I'm embarrassed ! : ))
I was having a rare moment of clarity and honesty. I often struggle to express myself adequately - I tinkered with the wording for some time before it felt 'right' and truthful. I am still in the diagnosis phase but the relapse and all it's domino effects left me with a real mixed bag of emotions to have to sort through. I thought the 'brain infection' I was told I'd had 4 years ago was a one off and I would keep the function I had worked so hard to regain, plus possibly see further small improvements in the future. When I had the relapse, revisiting so many symptoms from the past and culminating in additional disability, the dawning realisation that something more than just a one off brain injury had been at play back then changed the whole game. It is a hard game to play - there are no fixed rules and rewards for hard work in rehabilitation are often taken away again. x
Yes, I find it hard to not overdue it when exercising. You would think the more you do, then the better you would eventually feel, but not with MS. If you cross that line and end up doing too much, then you feel horrible.
Angelite, you read my heart! My box broke open yesterday and now after reading your post it will be so much easier to close. Thank you!
I'm so glad to have friends like you guys.
Your thoughts and taking the time to reply to me is beautiful.
You have made me feel better !
It's so nice to hear that Momjules.
Hi Karen! Thank you for all of your prayers.
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