Hello everyone! My names Sepehr (go by Sep). Ive been pretty active on here, commenting on a lot of stuff but never introduced myself (former username ssalimi).
I was diagnosed with MS about a year and a half ago and the first six months were very rough for me. I had multiple doctors deny that there was anything wrong with me because my first symptom was weakness in the right side of my body that was only felt internally by me and not visible to the eye. However I didn't give up and kept seeing other doctors until I finally got a neurologist to order an MRI as a favor to a family friend. Sure enough when they did the MRI they found 30+ lesions in the brain and I had tons of O-Bands in my CSF after lumbar puncture. Safe to say I definitely have MS.
After diagnosis I basically quit life. I stopped talking to friends, I quit my job, and pretty much spent all day every day researching about this disease and trying to gather as much information as possible in order to obtain some sort of control or find a cure. I spent at least eight hours a day on various medical websites and eventually this led to me developing strong anxiety symptoms and panic disorder. I started having panic attacks regularly due to the fact that I was so scared of what might happen to me based on personal accounts of others and the research. This lasted another six months until I finally decided that enough was enough.
I slowly cutback my researching and got on appropriate meds for anxiety and started going to various outpatient programs and seeing a therapist to come to grips with this disease. Now I realize that there's no such thing as having control over it as I was trying obtain in the beginning. I now don't think about the future much and just try to take things day by day. Meditation has helped tremendously with this and my anxiety levels are significantly lower. I'm back to work part time and slowly starting to realize that my priorities are changing and my personality is developing for the better. I don't know where this journey is going to take me both physically & spiritually but whereas before I was filled with fear & denial, I am now filled with optimism, hope, and faith. Hoping to tackle all the challenges that it throws at me with as positive as an attitude as possible going forward!