Laughing at Bad Thoughts

[C_B_24]

Why have I had intrusive thoughts about bad things happening to my loved ones and then uncontrollably made jokes about them and laughed?

I can’t control what I laugh at, but I can’t accept that, I just can’t. I’ve tried to find every excuse possible but I obviously found it funny otherwise I wouldn’t have laughed.

I read that anything that relies on wordplay will put your brain to work?

What if the situation was real and my brain uncontrollably made that joke? Would I have laughed then or would I be so upset I wouldn’t have?

I need an answer because I want to move on with my life and career.

Please help, I need some hope.

[80_Zil_ian]

Hello! This could be a compulsion—your mind/body trying to react to the distress that the thought causes in you.

This can be challenging. Even though I haven’t developed compulsions in the form of rituals, I recently started experiencing a new symptom that has proven more resistant to medication than others I’ve had before. It involves saying words or short sentences in response to thoughts, so I believe it might be similar to what you're describing. Is this happening when you're alone or only around people you have deep intimacy with?

If yes for one or both options, I think that's a "good" sign because it shows that your reaction knows exactly where and when it "can" and cannot occur. For instance, I’ve never responded to a thought with a word in a public space or even during an online work meeting. Am I afraid I might do it? Yes. Am I afraid of losing total control and doing this hundreds of times a day? Also yes. But I don’t let this fear control me because if I give in, this reaction will only become more frequent.

Regarding your fear of how you might react if something bad happens, here are three observations:

1. Try not to obsess over things that haven’t happened. It’s unproductive and only feeds the cycle.

2. Speaking from experience—I’ve faced real tragedies in my life, and believe it or not, those are the moments when OCD is least intrusive. When something truly bad happens, we’re often too busy dealing with the reality of the situation to dwell on OCD thoughts. Of course, rumination might come afterward, but not during the event itself.

3. While we can’t predict the future, we can analyze our past behaviors for clues. If you’ve never reacted to similar situations in the way you fear, it’s unlikely you will in the future.

I hope this helps, and I wish you a speedy recovery!