My son is 15 and diagnosed at 40/40 in March. He had to move out of our home because everything was bad. He took time off of school because he was so distracted and could no longer write without continuous erasing. Transitions also very difficult. He started intense therapy 40 hrs a week and has improved tremendously. He is living back at home, using ERP, SPACE, sees a therapist 2 hrs a week.
He just can't seem to stop the rituals (In and out of doors, dragging foot, rubbing foot, up and down stairs.) He says he knows nothing will happen, he tries strategies taught by therapist, but nothing is working. Nights are the worst. Can anyone share what has worked for them?
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Mollyis4
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I don’t know what 40/40 is. But otherwise it sounds as if your son has made tremendous progress on his OCD recovery. Recovery is not linear, it’s takes time and I would imagine he and his therapist are working on his other rituals. It takes time, be patient.
As a youngster, I used to line up my clothes a certain way before I went to bed. It wouldn't feel right if I didn't do it. How did I get rid of that ritual? By not starting to do it. If I started to do it, I had to complete the motion. After a while, the need to do it disappeared. It had to disappear on its own. I couldn't directly fight it. Otherwise it would have been too tormenting. Habit is second nature.
I find that if you stop investing time and energy into an activity, you start to lose interest. If you keep investing time and energy into an activity, you keep the interest alive. This psychological tendency is helpful if you want to lose your interest in something and keep it in other things. Finding other ways to relieve your anxiety than performing a ritual is also helpful.
I agree if you are engaged in something you like to ocd will be blocked out of your mind. Having hobbies that you really or favorite activities reading,music,sports are good to turn too if ocd is bothering you.say your having trouble and it won’t stop.that’s when you say time read my favorite story,ride a bike,play with friends,take a walk,go and talk to someone who loves you and explain ocd is bad today. That person may well be able to help you ignore the ocd through talking or playing a card game ot board game. Good luck
Hi Mollyis4! Reading the description of your son's OCD I'm blown away by the eerie simularities of what I experienced when I was 15. It sounds like he has an awesome and understanding Mother. And he has access to Therapy. Things I did not have when I was his age. Therapy does take time. I've had many, many years of Therapy. The past few years I have been able to make a lot of progress. Learning about a therapy that worked for me called ACT. Acceptance Commitment Therapy. Also with Exposure Response Prevention and Mindful Meditation. What realy helped me was accepting that I was not broken. Every human at times has an unwanted distressing thought. Also that I could not change the thoughts coming into my head. And it really wasn't a bad thing for them to be there. What was bad was only my reaction to them and what I believed about the thoughts that I was going to be harmed or I would harm another. My inaccurate perception was not true. There's nothing to be threatened about. That was the problem. So to counteract that. I allowed myself to have that thought or image or scenario as it is in my head that I perceive as fearful. To expose myself to that thought. That it can be there and let it be regardless of whether or not I think or feel it's negative. Telling myself I don't have to fix me. I don't have to do a ritual. And commit to act and think how I choose in ways I feel is valuable to me.
The key is strengthen your emotional resilience by being with the anxiety, building your emotional muscles, and returning back to homeostasis in a balanced state. Therapy is a skill to develop. Practice not careing or overthinking regardless of what your mind says you need to worry about. Worry about what is important and not what is not. What you can do instead is to think about something else or distract yourself in a hobby. Or talk to someone. Replacing the ritual. Also you could do Mindful Meditation, focusing on breathing, calming yourself down. Being present of your senses in the moment. Aware of what's going on outside your head around you? Doing this in small little steps even just a minute at a time whithout reacting then increase from there. Then you have a habit of not woring so much.
There's a threshold where you feel like you really want to give in to a ritual but if you don't your anxiety does go down naturally, you're brain gets the hint? There not fearful. It's not something to be worried about. And we can move on to something that is more important and it slowly isn't something of a bother. As you let the thoughts go. You get unstuck and stop stopping. As you just let the thoughts go. You can think and act how you want, regardless of another scary thought in the back of your head.
The key is lowering your anxiety as you experience it. Not reacting. Reassuring yourself, you're safe. Really the only thing that's fearful is that you think it is. That its something to be feared. It's really not the thought. It's that you're emotionally mistaken by it. That it is a threat when it is not.
These things have helped me alot. For me I now have the way where I can emotionally do the therapies? I'm grateful I'm finally managing it well. It's tremendously better than it used to be.
Tell your son don't give up on yourself. You can do way more than you think you can.
I really hope your son feels better. Give him credit for his strength. And the extreme challenge of this disorder. To completely change the way you think and perceive information and beliefs. It's seemingly impossible, but it is not. Challenges are only half as difficult as we perceive them to be.
Hopefully I said something of value. That may help you and your sons situation. That he may feel calmer and more at peace.
this is a very good note.i would strongly reinforce that there are no harmful events that occur from ocd. The fear ocd generates is not real and must be ignored or replaced by goodness which will happen by displacing rituals with
Happy events such as hobbies, conversation,sharing your problem with other ocd victims or loved ones
Hey thanks. I agree! It has done enough damage. Focus on what you can do. What good do you want to bring into your life? Courage is not the absence of fear. It's our perception of it. And our resilience through it. Also, patients is not just waiting and subjecting ourselves to suffering. It's enduring it well. Learning what is needed. Finding strength in hope. That the brighter day can, and will come! Life is what we create.
If you don't mind I'd like to ask you a question. You said, 'there are no harmful events that occur from ocd. The fear ocd generates is not real'. However, isn't it possible, for instance, by not wiping a doorknob with an alcohol swipe, you may catch a disease? It's not likely, but it's possible. Is it better to tell people, 'no harm will ever come from overcoming ocd', or, 'trying to live a zero-risk life in a very narrow domain undermines one's overall quality of life'?
Hi Mollyis4! No problemo. I am very glad. I'm telling you it's so hard. But from one moment to one day at a time. Health is possible! I wish you bolth the best. And the peace you all deserve. 😊
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