Intrusive Thoughts

[Janny_eny]

Experiencing relationship ocd. I love my partner very much. But for some days I feel like I will cheat on my partner but I know I will never do that. But I can't overcome this problem. I don't know what to do. Even unintentionally glancing at a boy feels like I'm cheating on my partner but I know I'm not. But I can't get out of these thoughts.

[deValentin]

Like most humans, you're having intrusive thoughts that aren't in line with your values. Nothing serious. What's important is how you deal with them. Don't try to suppress them directly. It will only make them worse. The more you fight them, the more your attention is drawn to them, the more you'll feel compelled to check them and then guilty afterwards for having checked them, the more you'll lose faith in yourself, etc. It's a vicious cycle from which it's difficult to escape. You may be tempted to think, "if I fight my intrusive thoughts and they don't go away despite all my efforts, that means they are significant to me".

A better solution would be to conduct your life in a normal way and stop dwelling on that 'possibility of being unfaithful' issue. It's very tempting to ruminate on that topic because you may think that if you keep on ruminating on it you may eventually find the absolute guarantee you're a moral person. However, absolute guarantees don't exist in life, and rumination prevents you from living the life you really want to live. Rumination or overthinking won't help you solve your problem. You need to stop it whether you find the reassurance what you're looking for or not, and be satisfied with reasonable evidence you're a moral person. It's not always easy, but it's worth it in the end.

[Janny_eny in reply to deValentin]

Thanks buddy 💜needed that. I'm trying to ignore it .