Do you know that? Is this normal with HOCD and am I on a good path to recovery?

[Jacodok]

Hi guys,I have already made some progress through ERP. I suffer from homosexual obsessive thoughts and currently I am preoccupied with thoughts that I don't really want to get better and be straight, that I have lost my heterosexuality or am just imagining it. Somehow I know it's not true, but it's still like buried under the obsessive thoughts and very weak. The relationship with my boyfriend has been strengthened by the therapy, I have been able to allow more closeness again and our sexuality is no longer so disturbed by the thoughts. Sometimes it's still the case that when I see attractive men my head makes me feel insecure again and tells me that I don't really find them attractive and that I'm actually a lesbian, it's so annoying, maybe that sounds familiar to you too. I'm afraid that it's my real conviction because I don't feel anything when I have these thoughts or am no longer afraid. I hope that my life and my relationship with my boyfriend will go back to the way it was before these thoughts. Will I soon realize that my sexual orientation has not been lost or changed because of these thoughts? I'm still pretty unsure at the moment.

I look forward to hearing from you and am very grateful for your advice.

Maybe I still need a little time until the healing finally takes place and the uncertainty is normal in the meantime.

Thank you for your answers and help

[LiveOutLove_22]

Hey, I think you should be very proud of yourself for the progress made. OCD is a lifelong journey for alot off people. Unfortanely we are not going to get over this in a day or week even a month. Life is challenging and then adding in OCD can just be confusing. Once your everyday actions and thoughts suddenly change and they do not reflect your ordinary beliefs. You begin to question yourself and analyze every little thing. I remember having a like Identity crisis not knowing who I am or what do I even believe and what do I want. But OCD likes to feed into what you know or have a fear of and turn everything upside down. Thankfully therapy is helping me and it sounds like it is helping you. Remember that healing and recovery takes time. And it sounds like you have already made some great progress already. Remember to give your self grace and compassion through out this process. Congrates on the steps you've taken thus far in recovery I believe overtime you will get through it. We all will.