Does this sound like OCD?

[Sage78]

Hi, I hope you’re all well!

I just joined this forum as I’m trying to figure out if I am suffering with OCD. Through searching on the internet the only thing I can relate that’s close to my symptoms is OCD. I’m finding it hard to find information on my specific symptoms and am not in a position to pay for a psychiatrist at the moment so I was hoping someone here would be able to help or relate a little!

Im going to put a trigger warning before this because i explain some really uncomfortable things that’s hard for me to write! So please read with caution.

So my symptoms are mostly obsessional and not compulsive. I have these weird body sensations, where my body doesn’t feel right. If I think about it too much it starts to freak me out and I feel physically uncomfortable. It’s so hard to describe but the best way I can put it is that it almost feels airy but an uncomfortable amount and my mind hyperfixates on it. It happens mostly with knees, neck/shoulders and eyes. If I see knees it makes mine feel light and airy but it’s really unpleasant. It also makes me cringe a lot, my reaction would be similar to reacting to someone severely hurting themselves, it feels this alarm completely takes over my body and I can’t deal with it. Knees freak me out specifically because of the knee cap and how it moves. Eyes also freak me out a lot, anything coming near my eye freaks me out and I get really anxious and cringe so much if I have anything in it.

TW

I also have intrusive thoughts, mostly about getting knifes stabbed in my eye or if I look at a table or object I’ll imagine an eye being dragged across the corner. Obviously this is really distressing to me and freaks me tf out.

I also am a bit concerned with germs. I’m a very clean person and will not allow outside clothes on the bed, I normally shower once a day but if I do certain things I will shower after so could be up to 3 times a day. I do wash my hands quite a lot. This aspect of it isn’t that bad, I am very conscious of germs but it doesn’t lead me to carry out certain actions, once again it’s mostly obsessional thoughts. I think about germs a lot whether that be when I was at work and touching the computer I would always use hand sanitiser after every interaction and so on. I don’t do it because I think something bad will happen, I do it so I don’t spread germs and have germs on me if that makes sense.

any information on whether you relate to this or think it could be OCD or something else would be extremely helpful!

[Natureloverpeace]

Welcome to this group! People with OCD feel anxiety, fear, shame, guilt or disgust about some intrusive thoughts, urges, images or sensations. They will do mental and or physical compulsions to try to reduce or get rid of the distress. The IOCDF has a website with a section on learning about OCD. It’s iocdf.org.

[SCC1]

Welcome, Sage78. Your thoughts could be from OCD. Since they are intrusive and causing you distress and if you have them many times during the day, I think it would be good to get it checked out, first with a GP. They can refer you to a therapist, if need be, or just discuss things with you-they will know what to do.

I would definitely follow Natureloverpeace's advice and check out that website. You will find a lot of useful information. You will also find a lot of information from others' experiences here.

[deValentin]

Welcome to this forum. Any irrational disturbing thoughts that grab your attention in a significant manner and prevent you from focusing on your daily activities are a symptom of OCD, in my opinion. With OCD, you stay in touch with reality. Your better judgment can differentiate between a sensible thought and a senseless one, but with willpower alone or reasoning alone, you can’t get rid of the latter. It’s also a matter of degree. To be concerned with germs is good for your health, to be concerned to the point of doing what an OCD-free person wouldn’t usually do is problematic (excessive hand-washing, for instance). However, only a therapist could make a valid diagnostic.

You said that your symptoms are mostly obsessional and not compulsive. Don’t forget that there are such things as mental compulsions, and showing interest to unwanted thoughts, images, sensations or urges at the expense of your other interests in life is a mental compulsion, in my opinion. The most effective treatment for OCD is a form of Cognitive-Behavior Therapy (ERP, ACT, mindfulness, etc.). Instead of trying to directly get rid of unwanted thoughts or images, you get accustomed to them and focus on what you really want to do in life. With the passing of time, the anxiety will subside and irrational thoughts will lose their invasiveness. I wish the best in your recovery.